Mixed Feeling

Photo : Myself

Note :

I loved the process of editing the original picture for this quote image. I first settled on this effect above. I thought it mimicked the feeling that these words bring to me.

I do not have any training or skills for editing. While playing around with tools further I stumbled upon more dramatic effects that could be created. Another version of this above image got more appreciated by few friends and family that I shared with, while comparing the 2.

They actually made me feel very proud of my patience and creativity in getting those results. They convinced me of no other choice but to post that one because of how good it was. I truly enjoyed their excitement …until I was about to publish this post.

Both the versions with exact same picture and words invoked a very different feeling. What I had landed at originally, and posted above, seemed to come from a gentle quiet mind. The other felt loud and from a crowded mind.

I shared my dilemma and I am told to be willing to disappoint my dear ones but not to disappoint myself. I decided to stay true to myself and post my choice.

I am smiling in wonder about how my choices get shaped with what the opinions of my close ones are. I wonder how it is going to be, to keep moving forward with how I feel versus what seems more appreciated or attractive in the world in general.

For now I am sharing with you exactly how I feel and nothing more 🙂 Please let me know what you think about the image & quote above.

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Hey Listen …Keep Going

Photo Credit : Manish Doshi

When they prefer to talk About you
Instead of talking To you

Know that you are headed elsewhere
Keep going through the lone and confusing times

Discover some amazing life and incredible people
I truly believe that you will

 

The photo is by my husband on Kauai island 🙂
This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, much Love to you dear Debbie. This is my message to urge everyone to keep going with love, forgiveness and acceptance  for ourselves and the choices of others towards us.

 

Emotional Orphan

Loneliness by Atanu Chakraborty

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Born intact with every organ
A roof over head
Food & family all provided
Yet never felt loved or if mattered
Never touched & hugged & assured
When bodily sick, definitely for-cared
With food & medicine & worry vexed

Born from the womb of the one
Whose heart severely lascerated
Parents two souls on a journey calliberated
Unaware they carry the precious seed
Of the radiant one born of them

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Knows deeply the fountain of joy
Looks around at the gloom
Paints own fantasy of life abloom
Imagines miniscule castles, tales of adventures
On the floor tiles, as if living a grand dream

Life awash with gleeful eyes
The shine, the glow and laughter
Made kin & cousins wonder why such rejoice
As if something wrong that always the smiles
Misconstrued & confused tears flew miles

Conforming to belong and pleading
Tears flow as if heart open bleeding
Amazing grace & strength head held high
At times weeping cries that pierced the soul
Tribe mocking now looking wry
All this perfect life you have -and you still cry?

The vibrant outlook on life
Does it strip away the human need
To ever have someone just sob
To be comforted and held close to womb
To be assured, guided & emotions lightened?
The radiant one always chose strength
Now bleary gives up at length
Choice of strength refrained from all & any nurture
Own mind became a tormenting torture

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Lost in relentless effort to create beauty
Through emotions & relations & dreams
Trying to earn the love in between screams
Taken for granted as blessed & blissed
Gratitude taken, it’s intention missed

Shelter & food & names called family
Burdens of keeping up heritage heavily
To get any love, earn it & yearn it seethingly
Deserve it & now demand it just for Being
Have given up heart & soul for the tribe
Not willing now to live life searing
As if pieced by the cutting knife

All misunderstood only for seeking love
Blamed for indifference & ingratitude
Guilt feeling for just breathing alive
As if unworthy of choosing or receiving any joy
Dripping dried tears of blood from the heart
Brick hard becomes the throbbing head
All this while trying to paint life beautiful red …

 

P.S. This post first appeared on This Glorious Mess on Medium

P.S 2 – This is a contribution to dear Debbie’s ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects Her blog is a beautiful space that facilitates forgiveness and peace for all distressed souls.

NOwhere IS SOMEwhere!

Somewhere Alone

If you find yourself lonely and NOwhere
Know that you are definitely SOMEwhere
Look back where you have been
Perhaps surrounded by company
You seem to have moved on unseen
Probably looking for some symphony

Scary as it may seem
Rise above all that agony
Fall deep in your own self
Sound of your breath and your heartbeat
First tangible ways of feeling and knowing yourself

As you rest there a while
New directions and new perceptions
New instincts and new inspirations
New experiences and new interactions
So much of the brilliance to unfold
Nothing though you can hold

Sight of a squirrel lifts you to lightness
Sight of the sun offers such brightness
The moon shines with so much love
Suddenly in the middle of NOwhere
As you become NOWhere
You find YOURSELF somewhere
On this miracle of a planet
Lonely becomes a lot of rich Alone
More alone ones come for sweet company
All of Life simply a perfect symphony!

The Insane Choice

At worst ‘they’ will call you Stupid
At best ‘they’ will call you Insane
It just feels true, makes You feel alive
It’s worth it if you make the Choice
And it helps You thrive!

It’s definitely not the easiest and probably not chosen enough
Seems lone but once you are on the way
You meet more radiant ones to help stay!
The trail does get really rough at times
That’s when you beg, borrow and pray
Ask these trailblazers to keep you motivated on the way!

Ah! An important side effect to this all
You come to know for sure, who of ‘they’
Are the ones who are truly for You at all!
THEY are the ones for whom you become
One they deserve You to be for Them!