No …you didn’t!

You didn’t mess it all up.
No
You didn’t!
You showed up.
With all that you had in you.

You didn’t lose anything.
No
You didn’t!
You showed up.
You got exactly and all out of it.

You learned something
About yourself and about that thing.
You showed up.
You will never be the same again
When you show up next.

You didn’t mess it all up.
No
You didn’t lose anything!

 

Thank you dear Debbie for accepting this as a contribution to ForgivingConnects. I am always deeply enriched with peace when reading your posts.

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Just wanting to be Seen

Through the words
Through the face
Just wanting to be Seen

Through the silence
Through the emotions
Just wanting to be Seen

Through how we dress
Through how we stress
Just wanting to be Seen

Through the efforts
Through the turmoil
Finally not caring to be Seen

Through the Self that emerges
Just feeling and Being
From behind those curtains
As if just peeking …

Suddenly you are the Presence
You are the Beauty and Brilliance
Made invisible all this while
Through all the trial
Just wanting to be Seen …

Now what do you do? …

Now do you laugh or cry?
When the one who sat with your sigh
While your times were crappy
That someone as if can’t stand you
When you are now happy

Now do you hurt or smile?
When someone visited with you
As if when you were dying
That someone acts as if shocked you are living

Now do you stay or let go?
Someone stayed (or played) with you
When helpless in sorrowful strive
And now denies you exist even so
As if unable to see you thrive …

Those moments of noisy silence

What is it that blocks my sense
What is this deafening silence

I probe for words or thoughts
There are none but some knots

So much noise yet no sound
Within or without nothing around

Heart is open, head gnawing to know
What is the lesson here lying low

I have opened my mouth big enough
Who do I turn to when feeling rough

What do I say when I ask for help
Do not have a story to the drama to yelp

There is no reason, still wish relief
No other responsible, probably some of my belief

Is there anyone else out there
Who knows this stuck brick in the head

I realize that the best advice I give to myself
Is when I am talking to others like myself

I better listen carefully when I talk next
For now maybe I’ll take a walk or rest

What are you really looking at?

There’s an empty glass of water sitting on the counter. It is broken. It is holding together but it has been shattered and has cracks going all direction. I look at it and see just that and nothing else …a piece of broken glass.

If you try to think of a situation or event in life that might have shattered your intact way of being …what do you really think of ? A situation that has cracked your core and wounded you open in places? Or something that has been bothering you very much since yesterday or last week? The broken glass probably doesn’t really represent anything to you. Life is perfect …except that this person, yesterday or last week, did not behave well, had a wrong attitude, did not do exactly like you expected or even deserved. My glass is as intact as ever. Now if I somehow make evident to this person that he/she has wronged me, I can get on with my perfect life …:)

I glance up out of the window behind the counter. There is this big vibrant sweet gum tree, always standing tall majestically, un-wavered through the winds and seasons. There are 2 men cutting off overgrown branches. The ones that were weighing down on the core were being fell to the ground. The idea made me feel light. They then raked off the fallen leaves and branches, leaving the ground clean and green again. A lot felt cleared on the slate of my mind. The sky was in better view now that the tree was trimmed.

Looking down at the broken glass again, sunlight now reached through the window and pierced through the broken glass …as if pouring through the cracks …filling them up, making it shine like never before.

I closed my eyes. Trying to imagine the healing golden light pour through my wounds and cracks. The glass became all gold but a dull one …no more cracks. Instantly I erased it and opened my eyes. If I am healed of my cracks I better look lustrous, I do not accept dullness!! …Ohhh do I accept my cracks?!!!

Are they caused by blows caused by other people or person? No, I do not play that blame game in my life. Did I allow those to be caused to me? Was I never strong enough to stand up to myself? That self-judgment doesn’t feel good and hurts me. So I am not going to relate to that broken glass in any way!!!

How many times do we try to mask and escape this way? In day to day life, what are we really looking at? Is it really the person yesterday that has made your life miserable? Or is there a deeper patterning at work here, a deeper healing  that we are denying ourselves? Healing of our health, and also relationships, with ourselves and the most significant to us. So, all that is bare and there, is there to nourish us.

Be brave to see the cracks, the deep wounds, let light enter through them, seal them and heal them. Let the glass hold the gold of clarity for you to drink from it. A crack in the roof of a deep dark cave lets the light in …imagine the exhilaration of seeing your path clearly, when you encounter that crack. What chipped the roof to make that crack, all the trauma that it endured, is just the drama that can become your story, that you might tell one day.

Be wiling to see your cracks …not as some external object or person. Sometimes we have shown such enormous endurance towards something un-imagined, or even unacknowledged, we don’t dare to look back at it …making us cranky at the most trivial though. Sure it is very human and also helpful in the healing process. But really if you see what you are looking at and what you are trying to escape, it becomes a true digesting of life events …tantrums, tears and all that are a part of it. Let it flow!

The light will always lead you to solace …if you allow it to enter you …pierce through you …seal you and heal you and shine you!

The trail behind me

There’s a trail from the past behind me
From whence in this moment I arrive
I look forward to see
Whereto it wants me strive
The smile on my face
Belongs to those who helped me thrive

The chosen and unchosen soul friends
The given and unchosen of relationships
With their simply Being or coaxing mends
Diffused and dissolved perceived hardships

I have all of You in my heart
To walk with You, I would go back to start
Gratitude for You will keep You forever with me
Especially when I seem to have parted ways with thee
There’s times when only You can make me less lonely

That’s when I look back at the trail
Find the bend where you found me frail
Then I walk forward steadily a mile
Taking with me the newfound smile