Don’t trust yourself too much!

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“Crowded Mind” Photo Credit: Manish Doshi – Indian Banyan at Hindu Monastery, Kauai

As precious little humans we are often perpetually running in our minds, with the relentless churning of thoughts. We go through the day, and our lives, one escape after another, and back to the inner running mill of thinking, and more thinking.

“What? Meditation? Do you know how excruciating it gets when I try to sit still with myself? I just want to sleep and not wake up …not to these thoughts …not when I seem to have a knowing that they are not working for me, my thoughts won’t just leave me alone, so I can Think of doing something with my life. There is this stuck tape on repeat … over and over, 10, 000 times! My thoughts are sometimes killing me.”

I confess that the one above was me, seems like a lifetime years ago, and it felt lousy to be that one. If you are that lucky one who doesn’t know what I am talking about, you truly have a gifted life.

I never really trusted myself. Trust was never a part of the foundational paradigm of my living. The gift of that is, it made me into a greedy seeker. Always yearning for a teacher and teachings to guide me. I also lived with a fear of going wrong in some way in life. So I always chose to have a personal check on myself, by having a teacher or mentor, one way or another.

I became aware when enough was enough to stay with my own thoughts alone. I used a lot of Thought Replacement Therapy. That is my fancy way of saying I listened to or read from authors/teachers tremendously.  Reading from masters like Wayne Dyer, Louis Hay and studying the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, personally with teachers gave me a good influence on my thought direction.

I was still aware of times when my own company was useless for me, while doing mundane chores. Talking to other humans had its own limitations. So I listened to audios to replace my thoughts, particularly the dim ones. ‎

2 major influences on me are Dr. Dain Heer of Access Consciousness and Abraham Hicks.

Dain Heer gave me the childlike lightness in my living. While reading his book ‘Being You Changing the World’ my heart danced with delight, like a kindergartner. The book exactly described how my child-mind worked, before I began, fearfully trying to fit in, in society. We make too many things way more serious in life than required. His audios are a profound and phenomenal work. It basically replaced my thoughts with what would have been my original thoughts. In a language, as refreshing as it can feel to the heart and soul. Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, founders of Access Consciousness, you helped change my life back to my true self!

When I stumbled upon the recordings of Abraham Hicks accidentally, I felt like she knew exactly how I feel and how I wonder and imagine in my innocent phases, about how this Universe functions. She spoke the Truths from the depths of my being and helped me see why I suffered. She described the exact ways that I had implemented intuitively to fulfill any of my desires and the exact ways I perceive life. What an affirmation! I may easily have 1000s of hours of Abraham in me …OK, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it.

My Yoga teachers/mentors, a longish list from India and US, the audio teachers and authors are an integral part of my Being. I am in deepest gratitude for each of these teachers that appeared for me at exact times that I was ready for them.

When you awaken to your own thoughts and their influence, you find access to the space beyond thought, from where true beauty & joy of living emerges!

Don’t trust yourself too much, if your own company is not being helpful to you. Seek out a book, audio, mentor, teacher for a good Thought Replacement Therapy. I found my trust in myself through them.

I am deeply grateful to those in turn who have used my writings and/or sessions with me to replace their thoughts, successfully creating change in life. I take immense joy in facilitating the journey of awakening, that I have chosen for myself too.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

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Looking Back in Time & Curious Ahead

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi “My Family On Kauai Island”

December 2016 on the sand dunes of Death Valley
Felt like a precious dream unimagined
December 2017 on the pristine beach of Kauai
Felt like a worthy gift always dreamed

Looking back 2016 had felt like a poetry
It’s rhythm evident towards the end
Miraculous intensities as if waves undulatory

Looking back 2017 feels like chunks of prose
Blocks of emotions riotous, faced to fend
Unbeknownst intensities dealt to come to close

I had felt gratitude in advance for 2017
I am just simply curious about 2018

Too many dreams at the beginning of 2017
Now I see tremendous success in simply Being

The freedom and liberation is sweet
Without the need to justify with achieving

A lot of life is hidden in the slow living
Follow into the next choice after deep listening

All the voices in my head that created turmoil
Most many of them were not mine

When I decided to do nothing
Exact things happened that meant something

Universe is becoming my family
Soul interactions touching me deeply

And there’s us souls committed to each other
Deemed as Family for this lifetime
We hold hands together in joy and trust
To make it through with our individual soul calling

Each of you dear one who reads
I wish you too a curious & glorious 2018
May you find a ground steady as you tread
The waves of life with each twist and turn

May we all embrace the beauty with mirth
Of this finite vacation on planet Earth

 

P.S. It was such unplanned happiness to me to have a shadow click of my family this year just like the end of last year 🙂 Check the one from last year here, along with the poetry of that time.

What do I Really Want?

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

What do I want?
What do I really want?
Everything anyone would ever want
I seem to have it all

Looks like it all fell to my lap
Just I paid with my life for all that
At times allowed my heart to be taken out whole
Be shaped like whatever anyone wanted
Often put back half used and cold

What do I want?
What do I really want?
Everything anyone would ever want
I seem to have it all

Now is the time
To ask for exactly what I would want
Until now I wanted just what everyone would want
Now is the time
To explore exactly what I am here for

My heart feels safe
In the warmth of my rib cage
Embody gratitude for all that I am gifted
Just not willing to stop asking more
Finally feel worthy to the core

All roles well played
Each and everyone, their’s and mine
To help me realize
It is me and my heart
Forever together in this lifetime

All else just tremendous perfection
Of how we find other in intersection
Keep nurturing our hearts
Knowing deeply “We are One”
Through eternity & this life in all sorts

What do I want?
What do I really want?
Everything anyone would ever want
That is exactly what I want and more.

 

Yoga – My work & Life

Of Journeys & Happiness

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Photo Credit : Pragalbha Doshi “Happy Birthday DH”

You love driving great distances
On roads with seemingly no ends
Taking me along, you in the driver’s seat
Record trips, some unthinkable adventures
That map across the states, thousands of miles
Sometimes no difference days or nights

Those travels just represent
The real journey together we transcend
You endeavor to create a splendidly simple life
You live though with challenging choices of your poetess wife 🙂
You are indeed a skilled driver to me
Giving me a ride on this rocky life road
All the way we traverse through eternity
On your special day, Happy Birthday dearly

 

P.S. Dedicated to my Dear Husband on his special day 🙂

Gifts of Life

 

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

Beware what you ask
For it surely comes

Make sure you Ask
For it surely comes

Sometimes gift-wrapped
In porcupine skin
Pricks & pierces as you get it unwrapped
Until your heart bleeds in pain as if tapped

Unwrap with gloves of gratitude
And blessings counted profuse
The asked gifts get revealed
Deep wounds get healed

Be aware of all you ask
For it surely comes

Be Alert
For it surely comes
In ways you haven’t considered

Gratitude Attitude

 

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Photo Credit: Vikram Phale

My gratitude is not my weakness
My softening at heart not my meekness

My gratitude was once my survival
My breaking down was emerge & arrival

My gratitude is now my treasure
My attitude by which I measure

My gratitude is actually my strength
My existence made magnificent at length

My gratitude propels my life velocity
My refuge it is to contain life’s intensity

My gratitude is not my neediness
My choice it is to stay connected with Oneness

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, please accept this Gratitude poem as a contribution to ForgivingFridays

Perfect Duos

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Photo by Pragalbha Doshi

Amazement & Gratitude

Contentment & Solitude

Accomplishment & Finitude

Refinement & Attitude

Commitment & Certitude

Moment & Quietude

Judgment & Perspective

Alignment & Aptitude

Enlightenment & Fortitude

Detachment & Habitude

I am so amazed of what gratitude can do, and so grateful for the amazements that come my way.

P.S. This came out of some moments of boredom in the day. I would love to know your thoughts, even if you think this was kind of boring 🙂
Peering into the beautiful flowers and then pairing these words did take my boredom away.