Choosing Teachers/Mentors – My Story

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“Grow & Bloom in places that seem unlikely”

As I have explained here, I did not trust my own company for the longest time. Now I enjoy my own company yet I know the significance of having the presence of a guide, mentor, teacher in my life.

A true mentor/teacher holds a clear mirror to your being, reflects your strengths and your weaknesses, without any personal agenda attached.

I say this because I have gone through a good number of teachers and mentors, long term and brief, in my quest (thirst, greed) for more knowledge, more perspectives. I found only very few who walk their talk, live their lessons and lead with compassionate authority.

There are teachers who try to lure by dangling a carrot of some conjured bliss. I could smell these carrots from afar. I have also met those with whom the work began well, I grew rapidly and then they fanned my weaknesses to keep the work going. It ended from my side, not without distress for both parties. I seek greedily, but not needily.

My humanness always saw the other greater than I am. It took me a while to become a person who seeked with clear intention. There is tremendous trust and vulnerability involved in these relations.

When they saw the potential in me, kept it a secret and worse tried to manipulate it to their advantage, it made me confused, sad and furious within, to not know what is really happening in our teacher-student relationship. When they infused fear in me to satiate their egotistic authority of their role in my life, it made me grieve and mourn the end of our relationship.

If I was feeling fearful or furious, it was time to be on my own. The right teachers always showed up next when I was ready.

I have the gratitude and blessings of this lifetime to have some truly amazing mentors/teachers in the present and past. They are true mentors because they know about each other and their significant role in my life. They are aware when I am working with more than one of them parallel, for different reasons. They are not threatened by the other nor is their ego bruised by my choices. I am able to be crystal honest with them. They don’t judge me for what I am yet don’t entertain my dependence on them. They hold safe space for my humanness and facilitate me to see my way clearly.

A true mentor strives to outgrow the relationship with the mentee and empowers you to thrive on your own.

I have never stopped being in touch with this kind. One of my past teacher of Yoga philosophy insists I should never stop working with my current teacher of Yoga philosophy. She even asked me to teach her the new perspectives I am gaining. This to me is the height of humility of a teacher for whom I had very high regard any way.

All the teachers that I crossed path with, helped me become who I am today. They modeled the right and wrong. I love having students who share with me what other sources are being helpful for them. I will never be done growing myself. I teach, facilitate, mentor with joy and freedom. I offer the same to others. We are in this together. I am walking my talk, if you see me ahead of you, just call out to me and I will reach out to you.

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Will I get to the world Before the world gets to me?

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Photo: Atanu Chakraborty “Trust where You are

Sheer element of trust in the unknown
The future moment or some person
That’s the power of your pure Being
Only stability on what you could be leaning
You know it from your knowing, perceiving & feeling

Everything else is always ever-changing
The moment itself changes & precepts too
Flow fluidly, fun with it have you

Choose courageously, fear is futile
Connect joyously, it’s all worthwhile
To the moments and those persons
Exactly as you feel inclined
All forms of doubt fully declined

Buy not the close-mindedness
And the attitudes of limited-ness
Of the world as your own

Get to the world wildly & merrily
Before the world gets to you heavily
The lies will try to bring you down
Trust that the truth to you is known
Buoyant is its lightness & brilliant its brightness

Look back and find nothing as ever lost
Only gained through lessons learnt most
That is exactly why you are never wrong
The choices you made were best among
You trusted in the way you felt
Regardless of what to others it meant …

 

Originally published on Feb 8, 2016. This poem is a powerful reminder of my own words to myself, today.

Dear Debbie, I offer this poem as a contribution to ForgivingFridays at ForgivingConnects. Your blog is a huge support to building acceptance and trust within.

What really died?

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“Space” Photo: Manish Doshi – “Before Sunrise on Kauai”

A lot had to die
Bit
by
Bit
A lot died a whole lot
Before
The first Poetry was born

The Process of Poetry
Became the new Life

I wonder what really happened
When the poetry Itself died

A lot of Space opened up
Bit
by
Bit
A lot of Space a whole lot
Before
The new Beginning is born

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, please include this as a contribution to ForgivingFridays, if you see fit. I offer these words coming through, as a way of accepting the unfolding of life with no judgment.

Don’t trust yourself too much!

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“Crowded Mind” Photo Credit: Manish Doshi – Indian Banyan at Hindu Monastery, Kauai

As precious little humans we are often perpetually running in our minds, with the relentless churning of thoughts. We go through the day, and our lives, one escape after another, and back to the inner running mill of thinking, and more thinking.

“What? Meditation? Do you know how excruciating it gets when I try to sit still with myself? I just want to sleep and not wake up …not to these thoughts …not when I seem to have a knowing that they are not working for me, my thoughts won’t just leave me alone, so I can Think of doing something with my life. There is this stuck tape on repeat … over and over, 10, 000 times! My thoughts are sometimes killing me.”

I confess that the one above was me, seems like a lifetime years ago, and it felt lousy to be that one. If you are that lucky one who doesn’t know what I am talking about, you truly have a gifted life.

I never really trusted myself. Trust was never a part of the foundational paradigm of my living. The gift of that is, it made me into a greedy seeker. Always yearning for a teacher and teachings to guide me. I also lived with a fear of going wrong in some way in life. So I always chose to have a personal check on myself, by having a teacher or mentor, one way or another.

I became aware when enough was enough to stay with my own thoughts alone. I used a lot of Thought Replacement Therapy. That is my fancy way of saying I listened to or read from authors/teachers tremendously.  Reading from masters like Wayne Dyer, Louis Hay and studying the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, personally with teachers gave me a good influence on my thought direction.

I was still aware of times when my own company was useless for me, while doing mundane chores. Talking to other humans had its own limitations. So I listened to audios to replace my thoughts, particularly the dim ones. ‎

2 major influences on me are Dr. Dain Heer of Access Consciousness and Abraham Hicks.

Dain Heer gave me the childlike lightness in my living. While reading his book ‘Being You Changing the World’ my heart danced with delight, like a kindergartner. The book exactly described how my child-mind worked, before I began, fearfully trying to fit in, in society. We make too many things way more serious in life than required. His audios are a profound and phenomenal work. It basically replaced my thoughts with what would have been my original thoughts. In a language, as refreshing as it can feel to the heart and soul. Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, founders of Access Consciousness, you helped change my life back to my true self!

When I stumbled upon the recordings of Abraham Hicks accidentally, I felt like she knew exactly how I feel and how I wonder and imagine in my innocent phases, about how this Universe functions. She spoke the Truths from the depths of my being and helped me see why I suffered. She described the exact ways that I had implemented intuitively to fulfill any of my desires and the exact ways I perceive life. What an affirmation! I may easily have 1000s of hours of Abraham in me …OK, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it.

My Yoga teachers/mentors, a longish list from India and US, the audio teachers and authors are an integral part of my Being. I am in deepest gratitude for each of these teachers that appeared for me at exact times that I was ready for them.

When you awaken to your own thoughts and their influence, you find access to the space beyond thought, from where true beauty & joy of living emerges!

Don’t trust yourself too much, if your own company is not being helpful to you. Seek out a book, audio, mentor, teacher for a good Thought Replacement Therapy. I found my trust in myself through them.

I am deeply grateful to those in turn who have used my writings and/or sessions with me to replace their thoughts, successfully creating change in life. I take immense joy in facilitating the journey of awakening, that I have chosen for myself too.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

Truthful Commitments

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “A wave washes over” at sunset on Kauai

Please read my previous post Don’t blow up your Life, as I continue my thoughts on long term relationships, while staying true to yourself, in this post.

There are long term relationships that have security of commitment and complete trust. Sometimes the problem that people face, in such relations, is of feeling saturated and locked in roles chosen for themselves.

The point of view of what you are required to do day after day, year after year becomes a sort of a confinement. You forget to ask if, whatever you choose to do, adds to the well being of you, or your relationship. When you do things because the other won’t do it or do it well enough, resentment builds up. The really small things in life become the biggest concern in such relationships.

There comes a rigidity of perspectives or a denial of an important communication that needs to happen. There is a knowing that one can depend on the other for life itself when needed, yet there is discontent on a daily basis.

The small things that become a pattern in a long time, call for conversations that feel difficult.  You make the conclusion that it is not something worth bringing up. After so long why doesn’t the other understand without explaining? – you ask. Eventually distress comes up just in presence of the other person. The original intention of love is so strong that you can’t imagine having THE conversation. This so called love cannot see the other in pain, angst or anger. So the pattern continues.

I think it is very arrogant of you, to keep living your partner’s distress and your’s, on your own. Robbing the other, an opportunity of living and facing their own humanness. Say your truth, yes the difficult one, and let the other feel the distress.

Hold the space for all unfoldings with love. Give space so you are not intersecting emotions. Allow the mess and the chaos. It is as short lived as the phases of happiness themselves. Remind each other anew the goodness that made you choose each other, in the first place.

When that wave has lived its life and washed over each of you, it will leave behind, your own joyful ways of being. Then when you meet each other in your own truth and joy, THAT is when you really meet each other again.

You experience the juice of the joy of being together. True commitment and love in relations comes in allowing space for each to find themselves and their truths.  Accepting the other, in all phases of that quest.

Marriages have happened for all kinds of reasons – physical, societal, familial, and because you had a knowing of certainty regarding your commitment. None are exempt from evolution, personal or relational. When we feel the greater Love in our being to share with each other, THAT is true union. And it always exists in intention and potential.

We are souls who found each other in commitment to do this work with ourselves, to have someone to come home to, from our deep explorations of ourselves.

And so we hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. We speak our truth, the ones that did not have an opportunity before, because what we had was enough, or we simply chose to escape the discomfort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead!

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgving Connect, a blog space I adore by dear Debbie Roth.

Looking Back in Time & Curious Ahead

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi “My Family On Kauai Island”

December 2016 on the sand dunes of Death Valley
Felt like a precious dream unimagined
December 2017 on the pristine beach of Kauai
Felt like a worthy gift always dreamed

Looking back 2016 had felt like a poetry
It’s rhythm evident towards the end
Miraculous intensities as if waves undulatory

Looking back 2017 feels like chunks of prose
Blocks of emotions riotous, faced to fend
Unbeknownst intensities dealt to come to close

I had felt gratitude in advance for 2017
I am just simply curious about 2018

Too many dreams at the beginning of 2017
Now I see tremendous success in simply Being

The freedom and liberation is sweet
Without the need to justify with achieving

A lot of life is hidden in the slow living
Follow into the next choice after deep listening

All the voices in my head that created turmoil
Most many of them were not mine

When I decided to do nothing
Exact things happened that meant something

Universe is becoming my family
Soul interactions touching me deeply

And there’s us souls committed to each other
Deemed as Family for this lifetime
We hold hands together in joy and trust
To make it through with our individual soul calling

Each of you dear one who reads
I wish you too a curious & glorious 2018
May you find a ground steady as you tread
The waves of life with each twist and turn

May we all embrace the beauty with mirth
Of this finite vacation on planet Earth

 

P.S. It was such unplanned happiness to me to have a shadow click of my family this year just like the end of last year 🙂 Check the one from last year here, along with the poetry of that time.

The Continuum

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Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “The Journey Continues – Sunrise”

When some conflicting energies were caused
A seemingly positive momentum got paused
All paradigms got shuffled and tossed
The heart and mind buckled & distressed

There seems no choice looking back
…yet there is no seeming lack
As if unbeknownst suspended mid-air
…yet seemingly held by emerging faith

A new place of no momentum
…yet assured of some continuum
As if all there seems to be is deceleration
…yet a knowing of tremendous forward motion

You become acutely aware
That you are simply on a flow
The current is calm and slow
You stir your way like you fully know

Then when boredom sets in
You insist on rocking the boat
You seek the adventure & thrill
And then scramble to stay afloat

…That is exactly how you most rapidly grow.

 

Yoga – My Life & Work

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays , a profound space by Debbie Roth.