How long was I gone?

Did I go on a long break?

Photo by myself from a personal retreat in 2015

I have been on this unintended and unplanned break from this blog space. Sometimes I thought I knew why I was away and sometimes I wondered why. It feels more like being in response to the Greater Continuum of Life. It is surrender to where and how I am called to be, on a daily basis.

I am so grateful for the loving kind inquiries on my well being and whereabouts. You, my friends from this blog world, are as real a contribution to me as any other. You truly nourish the soil on which I find my ground to be Here.

The beauty of the space I have been in

Photo by myself (unedited) : Crater lake, Oregon – the incredible clarity

I found myself letting go of all particular ways of how I spent my time of the day. It led me to venture into new avenues of life and become more consciously present & engaged in the familiar avenues of life. It gave me clarity on exactly how I am a contribution to my relations, my intention, how my purpose is getting shaped. I kept wanting to be back here in time, I had so much to say, yet no urge to write.

My ability to allow life to come to me and follow exactly as guided from within, has deepened more than ever. I finally feel no judgment over what looks productive, or not, in the world out there. The choice of simply Being, living life without the pressure of Doing, is coming more easily to me. I found myself in a profound wave of contemplating, clearly seeing, digesting and integrating all aspects of my life and being, towards a sense of coherence. It is unfolding in incredible ways. It is amazing.

I feel the process of grounding and the blooming of ease & joy alive in me. There is no rushing about this process. It is slow and luxurious. It yields abundantly with the time and space it provides me to grow and just Be. 

Blog Anniversary

Photo by myself

My first blog post was dated October 5, 2015.  All this time seems to be magical and unreal. I entered this space not knowing what blogging meant, what it took and what could be done with it. I simply needed a place to rest the force that was pulsating within. A trusted friend suggested WordPress, dear husband set up this site for me in one day and I posted my first poetry. The name of the blog, the description of About page – all of it came without any thought or plan. I put my fingers to keys and the words simply came. The description on the About page feels so innocent and newly, deeply meaningful to me today, as I celebrate 4 years of being here, on October 5. 2019.

It took a while for this space to change from a scared place to a sacred space for me. The love and understanding I received from interactions here, wrapped around my heart and helped me thrive.

That was a time when poetry had become a living breathing part of me. Poetry doesn’t visit me anymore as of now. Poetry, as if lovingly conveyed to me that it was time for me to visit life in a different role. I had felt a lot of grief when I thought poetry was leaving me. I even wrote a poem named “What if poetry never comes through me again” (https://pragalbhadoshi.wordpress.com/…/what-if-poetry-neve…/). I did write some more poetry after that as the flow trickled to a stop.

I love the richness of this yet another new life that I am living and also look back at my poet self fondly. Poetry knows the perfect time to come through again.

I trust the process

Photo by Manish Doshi

I am in the process of integrating all parts of me into one self and embarking on this training ground for compassion, kindness, love, acceptance and courage to live with the truth of my being. It does take me through difficult bends, unskilled as I am – they are lessons I am supported and guided through.

Comfort is not a requirement, and joy is guaranteed in choosing alignment with universal humanity.

I now allow all different realities of life unfolding into one beautiful, magical, miraculous tapestry of life and its expression waiting to be channeled through me.

I would love to hear your thoughts my dear friends. I will find my way to your work and get to as much as I can. I truly missed you all. I will post next when the inspiration strikes me again! 🙂

That is Why …

Photo: Manish Doshi, Editing: Myself

Because now
It is impossible to fake a smile
Because now
I am inwardly happy in my heart
Because now
I love myself with all of how I am

Because
I wish the same for you
Because
I wish we meet with exactly how we feel
Because
I wish to discover how One we are

That is Why …

 

While I was contemplating if I will ever write again …actually I have a lot of writing and ideas ready …so more if I will ever feel the urge to post again, and while navigating what feels like a transition in my way of being, the feeling of wanting to create this quote image brings up so much joy in me. I closed my eyes to call for what I wanted to put these words on, I saw that I wanted them to go on a path that looked like a scroll opening towards me. I started looking through albums of personal photographs and found this perhaps accidental click by my husband on a nature trail.
Growing up I felt a lack in me for not being good at art – drawing, painting, singing, dancing, anything. As an adult I discovered that there is an art to words and life itself. And the skill emerges when I keep living authentically. These text images that I  have come to love creating are my art and my heart. They are what they are and they are how they wanted to come through me. I don’t know how they should be, to be good. It makes me very happy if you really like them.

 

Note: This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects.

 

Moments

Photo Credit: Vikram Phale

Make Your Choice Today!

Each Moment Is Yours to Create & Enjoy!

Live Life One Moment at a Time!

 

PS : I received a request to create a Good Morning image, with a positive message for the day. I enjoyed making this one, on a photo clicked by my photographer friend. Let me know how you liked it and save/share the image if you want to.

 

Awakening

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi 

Yes Dreams Come True
The Waking Ones often Do

Fears too Come True
The Sleeping Ones often Do

Each can be stifling to the other
Awakening within, the creator

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnect, for awakening is a process that happens where there is acceptance in our hearts.

Of Truthfulness

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi

It is courageous vulnerability
Not a weakness
It is soul confidence
Not an arrogance
It is pure truthfulness
Not a lack of humility
It is heartfelt gratitude
Not a sign of neediness

It is actually an humble attempt
To persist in this made up world
With absolute will and trust
To insist on a world made of Love

Agnized their’s is a lonesome way
Greatest battles fought only within
Rain flowing from the eyes of turmoil
Emotional storms cleansing the heart soil

This is true of the ones who have tasted
The brutality of the life of humanness
The ambrosial essence of existence itself
Their tenacity time & again tested

A strength seemingly divine revealed
Ceded to the oceanic universal current
Soul-calling of intention keeps the ship asail
In the guided direction that Source avails

Envy & Inspiration

Photograph: Atanu Chakraborty “Reach out Into what Calls You”

I have been aware of the energy of envy since a very young age. In today’s times of social media, it has become all the more palpable. I think envy is simply the face of I-WANT-THAT. And I see nothing inherently wrong in it. I actually love to meet people that I start to feel a tinge of envy about. I like to actually share with them that I envy them for some particular aspect. By the time I know enough about them, I always find some genuine inspiration and there is no place for the green.

As a little girl, it was confusing for me to have the sense of self-worth mixed with the proportion of affluence. At some level, things seemed pretty simple to me …you have some things, and I don’t! But as the feeling of lack started creeping in, I slowly learnt to imbibe the energy of people around me who took pleasure in owning things, which I thought I would love to have too!

I learned to desire and trust that I will have all that I want and need.

Envy can hit us on all aspects of life like affluence, education, career, beauty, confidence. There is far more freedom in truly enjoying someone else’s happiness. If we look closely, each person’s asset could be their only true support system through this lifetime. People who seem to have it all very easily, are the ones who might have done the toughest groundwork to build their castle on. It can become very clear to us that we definitely do not want to be in anyone’s shoes. It can get really overwhelming to have to live all of the lives that we choose to envy. I now simply love the energy of the person who is truly enjoying something, be it money, faith, art, or love itself.

We open ourselves up for possibilities when we first enjoy the energies! We don’t have to have it all or live it all right now! And the freedom is even more when we realize that we truly didn’t need something we thought we did.

Someone said to me, “I envy a content smile, and wonder if it’s real or fake …” I say substitute the word envy with desire, I have now discovered that the content smile is the most important to want. There comes a time when all of us get tired of putting on smiles or wearing happiness on our faces. It is amazing when we can turn envy into inspiration! Simply go I want that content smile on me! Then look for what stops you from having it.

Envy just doesn’t feel good in the body, none of us enjoy not feeling good. Inspiration on the other hand feels amazing like the pulse of life itself. Don’t let anything touch you more than it serves you. You just need the energy of the person who has that smile, not that person’s life situation. You have your own life and magic to create for yourself. Trust your intention of love and service, and let go of all that won’t let you smile. Open yourself to new experiences, even if in the smallest possible way. Create space for that smile for yourself.

Regarding social media, some of us are not sharing the journey that brought us this kind of satisfaction, simply because bringing up that journey does not serve us more than sharing this smile. So use every smile to discover what’s really true for you. Smile …and always from the heart, look for it deeper when it doesn’t come from there. Every other aspect of life tends to follow a good genuine smile 🙂 Turn the green of envy into the red hot of desire to create for yourself …anything you want, really!!!

Originally published on December 2015

Recent short posts of few lines on envy: Envy & What can Be      Here, Take them All

Choosing Teachers/Mentors – My Story

“Grow & Bloom in places that seem unlikely”

As I have explained here, I did not trust my own company for the longest time. Now I enjoy my own company yet I know the significance of having the presence of a guide, mentor, teacher in my life.

A true mentor/teacher holds a clear mirror to your being, reflects your strengths and your weaknesses, without any personal agenda attached.

I say this because I have gone through a good number of teachers and mentors, long term and brief, in my quest (thirst, greed) for more knowledge, more perspectives. I found only very few who walk their talk, live their lessons and lead with compassionate authority.

There are teachers who try to lure by dangling a carrot of some conjured bliss. I could smell these carrots from afar. I have also met those with whom the work began well, I grew rapidly and then they fanned my weaknesses to keep the work going. It ended from my side, not without distress for both parties. I seek greedily, but not needily.

My humanness always saw the other greater than I am. It took me a while to become a person who seeked with clear intention. There is tremendous trust and vulnerability involved in these relations.

When they saw the potential in me, kept it a secret and worse tried to manipulate it to their advantage, it made me confused, sad and furious within, to not know what is really happening in our teacher-student relationship. When they infused fear in me to satiate their egotistic authority of their role in my life, it made me grieve and mourn the end of our relationship.

If I was feeling fearful or furious, it was time to be on my own. The right teachers always showed up next when I was ready.

I have the gratitude and blessings of this lifetime to have some truly amazing mentors/teachers in the present and past. They are true mentors because they know about each other and their significant role in my life. They are aware when I am working with more than one of them parallel, for different reasons. They are not threatened by the other nor is their ego bruised by my choices. I am able to be crystal honest with them. They don’t judge me for what I am yet don’t entertain my dependence on them. They hold safe space for my humanness and facilitate me to see my way clearly.

A true mentor strives to outgrow the relationship with the mentee and empowers you to thrive on your own.

I have never stopped being in touch with this kind. One of my past teacher of Yoga philosophy insists I should never stop working with my current teacher of Yoga philosophy. She even asked me to teach her the new perspectives I am gaining. This to me is the height of humility of a teacher for whom I had very high regard any way.

All the teachers that I crossed path with, helped me become who I am today. They modeled the right and wrong. I love having students who share with me what other sources are being helpful for them. I will never be done growing myself. I teach, facilitate, mentor with joy and freedom. I offer the same to others. We are in this together. I am walking my talk, if you see me ahead of you, just call out to me and I will reach out to you.

Yoga – My Work & Life