Top Writer in Inspiration

Congratulations! You are now a top writer in Inspiration
Great Work! Pragalbha Doshi

Today I received an email from Medium that said exactly the words above! 🙂

The title of this post is a seed I am sowing. In this rich fertile land of readers and writers alike. This seed is now ready to flourish and grow beyond it’s own knowing of it’s own potential.

I am now ready to receive the BEcoming of this title. The ‘Top’ …I am not sure what it means. The ‘Writer’ I will always BE, because I have a lot to say to humanity. The ‘Inspiration’ is what I want to be in the essence of my Being. I always wanted to be …I chose to be a yoga teacher for that simple reason. To create a difference in the way we live life …from the root level, live for and with a sense of wellbeing.

For a length of time I treated myself and my writings as happy accidents, and all appreciation on my work as happier accidents. I mostly felt only gratitude and sometimes overwhelmingly so. I have also felt as if I am not sure how long this will keep going.

When I first began sharing my writings, they felt like a huge act of courage. Like opening up the inner workings of my brain to the world … wide open to be seen. And I was very pleasantly surprised to receive only kindness, acceptance and love in this space. The true regard for spoken word and the validation nourished me.

I found encouragement, motivation and inspiration in this space, sometimes to the point of cracking myself open through my own resistance.

Along with tremendous gratitude to all and those of you who contributed to me in these powerful ways …I post this title with a resolve within myself.

A resolve to Be myself and do all that it takes to begin the cycle of courage all over again.  To be willing to open up with deeper levels of my brain’s working. To lay everything out there like never before …and just like before.

You, my friends and readers have helped me soften the edge of what it feels like courage. I receive and embrace ‘Top Writer in Inspiration” with a sense of lightness now. I exactly know how it unfolds. I will simply keep writing with all my heart …all the truths of myself and my being. The seed is sown in good soil. It is nourished and will keep thriving!

My friends, I look forward to witnessing and nourishing our journeys together!

 

Ever Been a Seed like this? Ever Seen a Flower like this?

A seed, gets buried in an avalanche of soil. The soil is rich, impregnated with all the life juice and organic energy for the seed to use. The seed though, suffocates and struggles  in the darkness and compactness of being buried.
It knows it will survive …not sure how.

It finds in itself the innate ability to absorb, the nutrients and moisture available around. Something starts to happen as the seed starts getting soaked.
It begins to change …not sure how.

Ever wonder how the change feels to the seed?

So much of breaking up, as it transforms. So much of a stir, before it finally learns to feel the softening. The tremendous endurance before it feels the surrender…

The seed sprouts a shoot. The shoot is so puzzled as it begins to break out of the surface of the ground. It quivers as the first air brushes on it. It faces the brightness of the very first light. It is held up …not sure how.

Ever know what this feels like?

The shoot grows stronger, taller. Head high, seeing all around very clearly.
It blooms. Into a delicate, pretty, beautiful flower. It is crimson and pink all over. It is just Being. Just Being what it had come to become. Not knowing about beautiful or happy or anything.

The flower suddenly gets jolted out of Being. It has a question. “Am I arrogant?
They are saying, I am beautiful and pretty … Am I arrogant?”
It feels the judgment ..not sure how.

Ever wonder about why the embarrassment about what you are blessed with Being?

The flower looks down, to the soil. “I know” it says, “I am up here only because of your nourishment, all that you gave me. I still have my roots in you …will always have my roots in you, as long as I live …roots of my gratitude”. It hears a message back from the soil, “We never said you owe us!”

Ever wonder how different we are as humans, when we serve, just because we were able to?

The flower ponders, “I am up here …all beautiful and pretty. I will be Beauty to the eye that sees me, Fragrance for the one who smells me …as long as I just Be.
Then one day my petals will fall away, one by one. I will no longer be the flower, pretty and beautiful, up here soaking in the sunshine. I will become part of  the soil, to nourish another flower to bloom. I will get a chance to give back then.”
It feels content …a bit sure how.

With a happy smile, the flower looks down at it’s stalk …its connection to the soil and nourishment. It gets puzzled to see thorns and leaves, that it did not see before.
It finds the answer it seeks …not sure how.

The leaves help it absorb the intensity of the sunshine.
The thorns …the thorns …there is sadness on seeing the thorns.
With the morning dew drops as tears, the flower says …”I am sorry I have thorns. I am done being broken down! Don’t touch me, Now I have thorns!!”

“The wounds of the seed as it transformed, to help me be born, I still carry in my soul.”

“I am told I also have a name …Rose is what I am called. I am not sure what all that is about …I am just here as temporarily as you are. I will stand tall and beautiful and pretty as long as you look at me …until I simply fall away …one petal at a time …to return and become the richness of the soil”

Ever wonder how the beauty feels to the flower?

Truth

To sustain on truth alone
Is the strength of the ones lone

When some innate trust is broken
Ground underneath as if is shaken
They become unafraid to be on their own

With courage once won the morbid
They learn not to depend on anything extrinsic
To be able to feel rock solid

The sweetness of life becomes known
When other such aware souls
Come their way to support and as if to affirm

Surrender to the joy of your truth lone
Never then is there a moment of feeling alone.

 

Step into the New …You

It is too long that you stayed in that shell …to keep others comfortable.

There are some around you who have always loved you, with whom you are amazing and it is easy. You feel safe being yourself. Then why walk on eggshells in the rest of the world? Why numb and dumb down the goodness and brightness in you ? Sometimes to the point that you come across as the most ungracious or insensitive person?

Nobody realizes that you are trying to be just the opposite, or simply trying to fit in. You value them too much …more than yourself! They are getting used to that …your misery even. And you are getting comfortable with that. In your mind you are being nice to them …stop …just stop!

They are taking your appreciation and praise, for everything about them, as your weakness, or worse jealousy. When you soar higher than what they perceive you to be (and you are still nowhere in your perception) …what will you take their unappreciation of your journey as? How will you look at their lack of acknowledging of your existence?

Look at those who really ‘see’ you. You seem to do everything right towards them.

Break the shell, crack open …Do what it takes! It’s worth it! They will find others who feed their comfort. Yes, give them the shock …stop hurting so much!

They will have to step up, to be able to understand you and cheer you in your growth. They will have to know the pain you pay as your dues. The grace you are showing as you choose to crack open and take flight.

You in your truthfulness will mourn your perceived loss of some of them, because you truly cared about them. That’s why you kept them comfortable while you suffered being trapped in an unwholesome reality.

Yes, I know you also have done some things wrong to some. Those too will reach out to you or you to them, in your growth. Just that you are not accountable to all of them this very minute, so don’t judge yourself so hard.

Go ahead take that step, a small change, break open, fly. The ones ready for growth will grow with you, or even break some towards their own growth. Some will fall away, as you both cannot see eye to eye now.

Forgive yourself, forgive them, love yourself, love them, allow yourself to Be, allow them to Be. Trust me, trust me, trust me it’s worth it. When you feel stuck and choose to wiggle out, it hurts, it’s worth it.

The ones who care for you and the ones you care for, will have to accept you as you are today. Let them know you want ONE with them, you are one of them. But be stronger on your own path. Some of them Never let go!!

Break out of anything you are keeping yourself in …one step at a time!

Go seek that which is waiting for you!

As humans, sometimes we go through the most mind/heart shattering experiences. They become a journey of profound transformation and there is no looking back from there. These experiences come in different forms – primary relationship breakups, intense health situations, life threatening illness, loss of someone close… All these experiences are common in the way how painful they can become.

When we feel like the ground under our feet has been pulled or shook violently, life as we know it, is no more …it’s only that …life, the way it existed, is ending.  It does not mean precious life itself is ending. It can just feel like dying, several times too, while alive. This is time of rebirth. Our personal rebirth. Intense transformation!  This kind of transformation uproots us at great depths. The process of birthing is very painful. So is this rebirth. It makes us cry. In mourning, of losing what we knew to be our normal.  Then, we have to learn to smile again. Find new beginnings.

In doing so, think only of your own well-being first. You cannot at this time afford any of your precious energy to think about what others think or even maybe how you want to revenge others. This is your journey. Be very selective in who you take along with you on this road. When we acknowledge our journey, we learn to recognize who is genuinely a part of it. We feel and become better for the joy of being with them. The rest realize that they have no business having fake concern for us. We realize we don’t need to put energy in anything that we can’t sustain or doesn’t nourish us …YOU ARE YOUR ONLY BUSINESS!

We find too many testimonials around, if we look, this road only leads to a beautiful life. You are never given what you cannot handle. You are too important to many people. Even though some have hurt you, or your own body seems to have betrayed you. Find gratitude for everything you find is serving you. You are not alone. You will now suddenly find all those gem of Beings who will see you for only being you. Not what they need you to be for them, or what they might want from you.

We are simply awakened to what is really true for us. I have come to call these places ‘our tunnels’. All of us go through them. And we are all supported in the utmost possible way. The more steps we willingly and courageously take, the more we get closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. We come out on the other side with clarity and luminosity. All those true to us and truly for us are found, waiting right there for us.

My favorite description  of this comes from Yoga teacher/Author Cain Carroll …

“The spiritual path eventually leads into the forest; each of us must walk that stretch alone. In the darkness of the unknown, a great fire consumes the conditioned version of who we constructed ourselves to be. All seems to be lost. What is lost truly never was. I call it the Great Disillusionment.”

This is our precious time with ourselves, to identify our strengths and resources. One day we will turn around and become the strength and resource for someone else. We would exactly help them explore the darkness of their tunnel and the richness of that experience. We would stand intact, to show them, how we used the overwhelming force of seemingly destructive change, that affected our perfect & normal life, to transform us into these tremendous beings filled to the brim with gratitude, kindness and love!

At the junction of what’s been and where we are headed, we look at the new beginnings with a new found sparkle in our eyes, as we open ourselves to the brilliant light and the miraculous beauty of Life ahead! We find Life to be perfect while never expecting it to be any perfect …We take it on with all its vibrant and varied hues!

Quoting Cain Carroll again …

“The living life force, like crystal clear radiant Light, is constantly holding and nourishing you. Open yourself fully to this Light, feel deeply into your being, let it drench every cell of your body and mind, and let it wash your heart into total love. When this process is complete, you will be fully healed.”

Go seek that which is waiting for you !!!