Each can be stifling to the other Awakening within, the creator
It is so interesting to look at our life and reflect on how it is a sum total of our dreams and our fears come true. Often when we stumble into suffering that diverts us from going towards our dreams, we are actually living our unconscious fears. Our waking dreams are our desires and yearnings that give us hope, direction, trust to find our way back again to where we are actually living parts of what we always dreamed of.
I chose not to make the C capital in the word ‘creator’ above because in the tender moments when we are transitioning from fear to faith, it is hard to feel the power of the Creator, and yet we are getting in touch with our creator self within to not succumb, but to dream even more boldly.
Awakening is a short poem published on June 20. 2018. The words felt very relevant to me to repeat and put them in the form of image.
Sunrise & Sunsets are Magical Moments And the one at the ocean Is that liquid gold beauty That invokes Gratitude naturally
My heart is filled with the fluid gold of Gratitude. I returned from my travel, a trip to Hawaii islands that seemed like it wasn’t meant to happen and then it was exactly what was supposed to happen.
Just one week before my trip, I suffered from a ‘bad’ knee that had me unable to walk or move for 3 days. While the doctors might talk about ligaments and what not, I went into deep communication with my knee, asking my body what it needed from me.
I have been holding multiple other life journeys in my heart, making me unable to move forward. My knees were telling me to keep moving ahead, and not carry so much of the heavy load, it wasn’t mine to carry. I serve better by living the lightness and the joy available to me, so I know, yet my mind felt selfish as if having to leave life and people behind, if I were to break out of more personal barriers.
My knees were holding a lot – they were stuck with much pain, grief, anger, even traces of resentment that I wasn’t willing to look at. The only way out of anything is Through. I have been there, done that before – this time it was my ‘intelligent’ knee that made me pause, look, feel, and let go.
I equipped myself with the following affirmations that I repeated to myself during the 6 hour flight and my daily barefoot walks in the earthly sand for at least an hour.
I release any inflexibility & fear I have stored in my knees. I release any lack of ease I have stored in my knees. I release any shock & resistance I have stored in my knees. I release any anger & stubbornness I have stored in my knees. I release any irritation & stress I have stored in my knees. I release any excess responsibility & pressure I have stored in my knees. I release any conflict & spiritual turmoil I have stored in my knees. I joyfully release all that old stuff.
It is safe to surrender now. I feel safe and flexible moving forward now. I feel so supported and secure now. It is easy to forgive the past and go with the flow now. It is easy to stand up for myself now. My knees are strong, stable, healthy. I am perfectly aligned and embrace change easily. I move forward with confidence and joy.
With every breath I take I send love, gratitude and healing to my knees and every single cell in my body.
I practiced deep long breaths and spine lengthening postures every day to release any stress on the lower extremity joints.
I went to the airport limping and I came back from my trip absolutely pain free. We planned for this trip only 3 days in advance when I felt very certain that it was in perfect alignment for moving forward. My knee wanted me to move through the pain, and the pain kept receding each day as I consciously worked through what my body needed and spirit guided.
Each day, each moment is an unknown unimagined miracle into another – last 2 weeks were as exquisitely amazing as much as how arduous the work might feel to dive in to the depths of our inner and outer journeys, finding our way through it all.
The ocean has this magical ability to drink up all the tired unrelenting waves of my being and replenish with relentless, refreshed, playful, peaceful ones. My heart is filled with the fluid gold of Gratitude for all the abundance, joy, support and guidance available to me.
The last thing I read at night was Dawn by Frank@BeachWalkReflections where he described dawn as a free magical moment that too many miss. I ended my day with an innocent question within – why do I miss most of the sunrise moments in this lifetime?
I was awakened the following morning at the crack of dawn with the eerie feeling that I have become accustomed to, as a cue to start typing because a poem or something like that needs to be given the way out. I hope you enjoy reading it below. Always infinitely grateful to have your thoughts on what takes up space here.
I was awake at dawn
I stayed in bed
Resting my head
Taking some deep breaths
I won't open the curtains
I want to curl up deep inside my own womb
I can feel my belly alive
The baby me held in her turmoil
I refuse to see the light
I need to nurture this one within first
I want to hold her, send her a full breath
One after the other
Soothing her, loving her
Making her feel safe
Letting her know I see her
I understand her
I want her to be nourished with my loving presence
I want to be in this dark cave
Until she gets what she needs
She is worth the wait
The curtains can be opened very late
She needs to feel her own beauty within
Before the light floods in
I was awake at dawn
Wondering if I should be out there
Witnessing the magical beginning of the day
Yet I could feel her tug
More a churning and a yearning
For that unconditional unattached hug
So I stayed in bed
Resting my head
Taking some deep breaths
I did wonder how long?
For an amazing beauty of the morning awaits
There is no hurry I decided
My womb had just now begun to melt
To become this assured part of me
The morning can continue to grow into the day
Just like the baby me is continuing to grow into my person
Someone else decided to open the curtain
I looked up out the window
The light was bright and yet quite mellow on me
Both baby me and I, just One, now could finally smile
Both received so much from each other
We are now a ball of tenderness and a fullness
Comfortable in one skin
Hopefully not as thin but still permeable
To all the love that we can receive from the light of the day
I pray we both stay merged enough
When we are awake at dawn of another day
To open the curtains and soak in the beauty
of what awaits us in a magical way
P.S.: I have found Frank’s Beach Walk Reflections very enjoyable and contemplative to read as he brings alive so many aspects of the beach, ocean, sand and everything associated. I hope you also visit his site.
There are often days or weeks together that I don’t step out of my home. When I do, I am gifted with the most incredible sights around. The Universe is simply so generous, so forgiving of my inattention and so readily showering me with these luxurious moments. These following glimpses, all within a mere 10 minute evening walk, 2 weeks ago. I indulge in the feeling until I venture out next …
I ventured out You dressed up
I looked up You blessed me
Earth You a Miracle Wonder Me One ungrateful imposter
Earth You as if exist for me Me Lived enough as if you don’t exist
Earth What would you want from me That is what I would like to be
I was drawn out of my way to peek in to this web of roots, branches and shadows on water. I felt as if I was pulled in towards the womb of the Earth. I had posted the original picture in this postlast month. The words describe the special experience of being there.
This glimpse simply made me feel blessed. The beautiful goose was peacefully strolling around ahead of me and as I reached this curve, I found it sheltering here with such ease and quiet. Reminding me of how we share this planet, how we belong to the same nature and can find such rest & respite if we would choose to.
I loved standing at the center of this labyrinth, as if a journey inward & then looking outward. If you could get a wider view, right behind me you would see the Golden Gate Bridge over the San Francisco Bay. This photo was an unplanned surprise. While a couple of other visitors and I enjoyed walking the labyrinth, my husband decided to hike up a nearby hill and take some pictures.
Little did I know that this picture would become the cover photo of my first article published in a magazine. Getting an email from the editor saying that my article was live on the India Currents magazine site was as novel an experience as beginning to publish on WordPress exactly 5 years ago. Yes that’s right it is 5 year anniversary of my blog today!
I soaked up the feeling of being published, it was like crossing a threshold for me. I was writing after a long time, also something that was more than poetry and inspiration. I was writing the personal story of how I happened to develop this relation with poetry and inspiration. I was opening up a lot more, with surprising ease, to a wider world than before. I hope this is a beginning towards more open authentic writing that would serve its purpose, God/Universe willing.
It does feel like a sliver of courage to bring this article for more people to read. I would be honored to have your time on it and perhaps get to know if you have any thoughts for me.
Here’s my article:
Poetry was never something I imagined to become this significant to me, it was not even a sliver of a dream of an unimagined future …read more @ A Poet Born Through Healing
It was beautiful to watch this clear stream of water flow and merge in to the waves of ocean. It had traveled from a distance afar, its source not directly visible from this place. As the stream of water became part of the ocean, stopped existing by itself, did it just become more alive?
Each awareness of my merging with the infinite intelligence of Life itself, I stop existing by myself and just become more alive.
P.S. I have to say it again how much I am loving making these photo images, and you my friends have kept me going with your kind words on the previous ones!
P. P. S. The ocean is calling me and I am taking 4-5 days off on all platforms. I will get back with any messages of inspiration from the seas and the sky, I am hoping for a few good conversations 🙂 Once back I will eagerly catch up on all that I missed from my favorite writers!
Photo: Manish Doshi, Photographed: My son, at sunset on Kauai
My worry for you is my arrogance
As if your life journey is by my sustenance
It’s only my attachment and gratification
To be a defined part of your vivification
As if I distrust the soul ability of your person
To find your own purposeful navigation
For me to be any worthful contribution
I would find a way in thought, word & action
Offer to you with grateful & unhurried acceptance
Trust the gift of your own endurance
Assuredly allow all of the miraculous
Waiting to flow to you from the Universe
My worry about you is my arrogance
This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Dear Debbie I admire and enjoy your work of surrender, acceptance & forgiveness.