Choosing Teachers/Mentors – My Story

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“Grow & Bloom in places that seem unlikely”

As I have explained here, I did not trust my own company for the longest time. Now I enjoy my own company yet I know the significance of having the presence of a guide, mentor, teacher in my life.

A true mentor/teacher holds a clear mirror to your being, reflects your strengths and your weaknesses, without any personal agenda attached.

I say this because I have gone through a good number of teachers and mentors, long term and brief, in my quest (thirst, greed) for more knowledge, more perspectives. I found only very few who walk their talk, live their lessons and lead with compassionate authority.

There are teachers who try to lure by dangling a carrot of some conjured bliss. I could smell these carrots from afar. I have also met those with whom the work began well, I grew rapidly and then they fanned my weaknesses to keep the work going. It ended from my side, not without distress for both parties. I seek greedily, but not needily.

My humanness always saw the other greater than I am. It took me a while to become a person who seeked with clear intention. There is tremendous trust and vulnerability involved in these relations.

When they saw the potential in me, kept it a secret and worse tried to manipulate it to their advantage, it made me confused, sad and furious within, to not know what is really happening in our teacher-student relationship. When they infused fear in me to satiate their egotistic authority of their role in my life, it made me grieve and mourn the end of our relationship.

If I was feeling fearful or furious, it was time to be on my own. The right teachers always showed up next when I was ready.

I have the gratitude and blessings of this lifetime to have some truly amazing mentors/teachers in the present and past. They are true mentors because they know about each other and their significant role in my life. They are aware when I am working with more than one of them parallel, for different reasons. They are not threatened by the other nor is their ego bruised by my choices. I am able to be crystal honest with them. They don’t judge me for what I am yet don’t entertain my dependence on them. They hold safe space for my humanness and facilitate me to see my way clearly.

A true mentor strives to outgrow the relationship with the mentee and empowers you to thrive on your own.

I have never stopped being in touch with this kind. One of my past teacher of Yoga philosophy insists I should never stop working with my current teacher of Yoga philosophy. She even asked me to teach her the new perspectives I am gaining. This to me is the height of humility of a teacher for whom I had very high regard any way.

All the teachers that I crossed path with, helped me become who I am today. They modeled the right and wrong. I love having students who share with me what other sources are being helpful for them. I will never be done growing myself. I teach, facilitate, mentor with joy and freedom. I offer the same to others. We are in this together. I am walking my talk, if you see me ahead of you, just call out to me and I will reach out to you.

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Express Yourself Truly

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Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “You Talk too Much”

You Talk Too Much
This is what they said to me

I didn’t know what to do about it
Until I realized after long

I was expressing wrongly
In all places wrong

I became a writer
Expressing from my heart exactly

You Don’t Talk To Me Much Now
This is what they say to me now

Will I get to the world Before the world gets to me?

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Photo: Atanu Chakraborty “Trust where You are

Sheer element of trust in the unknown
The future moment or some person
That’s the power of your pure Being
Only stability on what you could be leaning
You know it from your knowing, perceiving & feeling

Everything else is always ever-changing
The moment itself changes & precepts too
Flow fluidly, fun with it have you

Choose courageously, fear is futile
Connect joyously, it’s all worthwhile
To the moments and those persons
Exactly as you feel inclined
All forms of doubt fully declined

Buy not the close-mindedness
And the attitudes of limited-ness
Of the world as your own

Get to the world wildly & merrily
Before the world gets to you heavily
The lies will try to bring you down
Trust that the truth to you is known
Buoyant is its lightness & brilliant its brightness

Look back and find nothing as ever lost
Only gained through lessons learnt most
That is exactly why you are never wrong
The choices you made were best among
You trusted in the way you felt
Regardless of what to others it meant …

 

Originally published on Feb 8, 2016. This poem is a powerful reminder of my own words to myself, today.

Dear Debbie, I offer this poem as a contribution to ForgivingFridays at ForgivingConnects. Your blog is a huge support to building acceptance and trust within.

Don’t trust yourself too much!

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“Crowded Mind” Photo Credit: Manish Doshi – Indian Banyan at Hindu Monastery, Kauai

As precious little humans we are often perpetually running in our minds, with the relentless churning of thoughts. We go through the day, and our lives, one escape after another, and back to the inner running mill of thinking, and more thinking.

“What? Meditation? Do you know how excruciating it gets when I try to sit still with myself? I just want to sleep and not wake up …not to these thoughts …not when I seem to have a knowing that they are not working for me, my thoughts won’t just leave me alone, so I can Think of doing something with my life. There is this stuck tape on repeat … over and over, 10, 000 times! My thoughts are sometimes killing me.”

I confess that the one above was me, seems like a lifetime years ago, and it felt lousy to be that one. If you are that lucky one who doesn’t know what I am talking about, you truly have a gifted life.

I never really trusted myself. Trust was never a part of the foundational paradigm of my living. The gift of that is, it made me into a greedy seeker. Always yearning for a teacher and teachings to guide me. I also lived with a fear of going wrong in some way in life. So I always chose to have a personal check on myself, by having a teacher or mentor, one way or another.

I became aware when enough was enough to stay with my own thoughts alone. I used a lot of Thought Replacement Therapy. That is my fancy way of saying I listened to or read from authors/teachers tremendously.  Reading from masters like Wayne Dyer, Louis Hay and studying the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, personally with teachers gave me a good influence on my thought direction.

I was still aware of times when my own company was useless for me, while doing mundane chores. Talking to other humans had its own limitations. So I listened to audios to replace my thoughts, particularly the dim ones. ‎

2 major influences on me are Dr. Dain Heer of Access Consciousness and Abraham Hicks.

Dain Heer gave me the childlike lightness in my living. While reading his book ‘Being You Changing the World’ my heart danced with delight, like a kindergartner. The book exactly described how my child-mind worked, before I began, fearfully trying to fit in, in society. We make too many things way more serious in life than required. His audios are a profound and phenomenal work. It basically replaced my thoughts with what would have been my original thoughts. In a language, as refreshing as it can feel to the heart and soul. Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, founders of Access Consciousness, you helped change my life back to my true self!

When I stumbled upon the recordings of Abraham Hicks accidentally, I felt like she knew exactly how I feel and how I wonder and imagine in my innocent phases, about how this Universe functions. She spoke the Truths from the depths of my being and helped me see why I suffered. She described the exact ways that I had implemented intuitively to fulfill any of my desires and the exact ways I perceive life. What an affirmation! I may easily have 1000s of hours of Abraham in me …OK, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it.

My Yoga teachers/mentors, a longish list from India and US, the audio teachers and authors are an integral part of my Being. I am in deepest gratitude for each of these teachers that appeared for me at exact times that I was ready for them.

When you awaken to your own thoughts and their influence, you find access to the space beyond thought, from where true beauty & joy of living emerges!

Don’t trust yourself too much, if your own company is not being helpful to you. Seek out a book, audio, mentor, teacher for a good Thought Replacement Therapy. I found my trust in myself through them.

I am deeply grateful to those in turn who have used my writings and/or sessions with me to replace their thoughts, successfully creating change in life. I take immense joy in facilitating the journey of awakening, that I have chosen for myself too.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

Colors of Change

Fall Leaf (2)

Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Leaf”

Change is inevitable
Seems like fate’s offering
Makes you chase elusive happiness

OR

Change is intentional
Seems like chosen wise suffering
Helps you perceive pure joy within any sadness

 

Yoga – My work & Life

The Continuum

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Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “The Journey Continues – Sunrise”

When some conflicting energies were caused
A seemingly positive momentum got paused
All paradigms got shuffled and tossed
The heart and mind buckled & distressed

There seems no choice looking back
…yet there is no seeming lack
As if unbeknownst suspended mid-air
…yet seemingly held by emerging faith

A new place of no momentum
…yet assured of some continuum
As if all there seems to be is deceleration
…yet a knowing of tremendous forward motion

You become acutely aware
That you are simply on a flow
The current is calm and slow
You stir your way like you fully know

Then when boredom sets in
You insist on rocking the boat
You seek the adventure & thrill
And then scramble to stay afloat

…That is exactly how you most rapidly grow.

 

Yoga – My Life & Work

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays , a profound space by Debbie Roth.

NOwhere IS SOMEwhere!

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Somewhere Alone

If you find yourself lonely and NOwhere
Know that you are definitely SOMEwhere
Look back where you have been
Perhaps surrounded by company
You seem to have moved on unseen
Probably looking for some symphony

Scary as it may seem
Rise above all that agony
Fall deep in your own self
Sound of your breath and your heartbeat
First tangible ways of feeling and knowing yourself

As you rest there a while
New directions and new perceptions
New instincts and new inspirations
New experiences and new interactions
So much of the brilliance to unfold
Nothing though you can hold

Sight of a squirrel lifts you to lightness
Sight of the sun offers such brightness
The moon shines with so much love
Suddenly in the middle of NOwhere
As you become NOWhere
You find YOURSELF somewhere
On this miracle of a planet
Lonely becomes a lot of rich Alone
More alone ones come for sweet company
All of Life simply a perfect symphony!

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, I contribute this poem to ForgivingFridays , peace to all that we judge in ourselves!