Of Journeys & Happiness

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Photo Credit : Pragalbha Doshi “Happy Birthday DH”

You love driving great distances
On roads with seemingly no ends
Taking me along, you in the driver’s seat
Record trips, some unthinkable adventures
That map across the states, thousands of miles
Sometimes no difference days or nights

Those travels just represent
The real journey together we transcend
You endeavor to create a splendidly simple life
You live though with challenging choices of your poetess wife 🙂
You are indeed a skilled driver to me
Giving me a ride on this rocky life road
All the way we traverse through eternity
On your special day, Happy Birthday dearly

 

P.S. Dedicated to my Dear Husband on his special day 🙂

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One Problem

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

There is one problem
With acquiring any Wisdom

You ought to keep living It

It stares at you at every turn
As if bright headlights …

There is a Difference

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LiveLifeGrand&Deep

There is a difference.
In living to make it look like
To be seen a certain way
To be remembered a certain way
To be talked about a certain way

And

Actually living the life exactly
As what would be seen and talked about
Only because that is the only way
That is skilled and known to live.
There is a difference.

The difference is
Vexed exhaustion
And
Calm conviction.

The difference is
Unknown inner suffering
And
Chosen wise suffering

The difference is
Mind maddening rush & fall
And
Heart exalting ebb & flow

Of Faith & Fear

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“Faith feels expansive & brings gifts magical” Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

Faith in something
That you are in doubt ruminating
Feels to me more like fear
If it never helps your mind go clear

Faith in something merely habitual
That comes more from a need to control
Feels to me like fear and a certain limitation
If it does not bring any relief or evolution

Faith in another human
That becomes how you are dependent
Feels to me another escape of fear
If it doesn’t show you your path clear

Faith that is instilled when juvenile
That often makes authentic choice seem criminal
Feels to me a crop of anxiety fertile
If you sense different, as if your life is futile

Faith is something incredible
That makes your choice seem inevitable
Feels to you more like most logical
If it even is something that seems impossible

Faith in something beyond thinking
That is beyond ideas of exact executing
Feels to me beyond need of explanation
If at work, no fear or anxiety in question

Faith flows as if a knowing of reality
That comes of the Self, not of your owning
Feels always assured, never unsteady
If you find it, no place for fear or anxiety

 

P.S. Someone sent me a question “What is my fear or anxiety trying to tell me?” I asked myself ” What is the opposite of fear?” “Faith” came the answer to my mind. This poem came in response to her question. If I am lucky I might come to know if I answered her question. I am eager to know all comments and interpretations, or more questions on this.

No I won’t â€¦

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

No
I won’t flaunt
But you see
I won’t any more
Hide

No
I won’t be proud
But you see
I won’t any more
Just stay on the side

No
I won’t lose any preciousness
Any more, in having to prove it
To every one and any one
I will just Be it

 

P.S. Originally published at This Glorious Mess on Medium.

Ablaze with Truth

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‘ABLAZE’  – Photo by Manish Doshi

 

It is a visceral feeling.
The emotion of anger.
It feels like an old one. It is so physical as if ablaze.
That block, the lead block right on the core of my heart, it is heavily burrowing down. Into the deep abyss of my being.
Get it offf now!

I am angry. I am angry about smiling through it all …all these years.
I am angry that I had such positivity. ..all these years.
I am angry I had so much love and the need for love in me that I overlooked and even enjoyed this same thing.
I am angry that I wasn’t angry the first time this happened.

I am speaking the truth regarding this for the first time.
The truth that I had no idea of. The truth that was buried deep down to fulfill my other needs.
That’s it.
It has been my choice all along. To smile through it. To keep finding what is right in it. To hold it in my pot of love.

Today it is me who has changed.
It is me who has become aware of my hidden truth.

I am actually ablaze with this revelation.
With no skill whatsoever to contain it and express it, it has come as anger.

It is still visceral …yet it has changed.
The blaze has softened. I have finally seen it and honored it for what it is.
The iron block on my heart, still there.
It is so much of grief and guilt over my unskilled expression of my truth.
My assumption that it is wrong to feel this anger. That it is wrong to feel this bad, about something I accepted as normal, all my life.

Awakening to my own truth and suddenly choosing it and living it, is a very raw experience.
As if a rebirth into another person.
Definitely an unexpected guest, often an unpleasant one, in the lives of those accustomed to my smiling through it.
I decide to accept my anger for what it is.
I give myself permission to feel the human emotion of anger.

It came as a visceral wave of awakening and it has passed.
I am left with this heavy brick on my heart
I pour love for myself. Hold myself with compassion.

It is amazing to physically feel the brick soften.
And now melt and diffuse.
I feel space. I feel a soft strength.
There is a freshness in the way of my being.
There is a quiet quiet space of being.
Soothing and healing and forgiving.
I will stay immersed in this silence today.

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of dear blogger Debbie. My wish is of self healing and forgiving through the process of becoming aware of our own Truth.

This post was originally published at This Glorious Mess on Medium