How is it even working out?

Photo by myself: Cypress Tree Tunnel, Point Reyes, CA

I am so absolutely dissatisfied forever and yet have this absolute contentment in me for my life – How is it even working out?

I am greatly amused at this thought that I am pondering about.

There are days I wake up with such waves of desires and aspirations pulsating within – all I can do is hold myself in stillness so I can watch where the currents are taking me. Sometimes I marvel at the glimpses of possibilities shown to me and sometimes I scream silently “Just Let Me Be”

And then there are days that I wake up so clear and calm, an emptiness that is so full, a fullness of the magic of life currents and empty of the turmoil of living – all I can do is bask in the bliss of gratitude, looking around at all that seems like a dream come alive.

Drenched in the joy of the life of it all, I then become aware of those undercurrents stirring within – they are both kinds, of today’s blessings and tomorrow’s visions, carrying the yesterdays in their very womb. And I am in awe of this container I am – that holds it all.

I look back gratefully at all the grief that brought me to this joy, I look forward gratefully to all the more grief and joy waiting for me.

I am sensing that one thing that I am never looking back on and looking forward to – the fear that I used to live with. It was not the fear of particularly anything, it was just Fear, my forever friend, who strived to keep me safe. It was the primary emotion I woke up with for a long part of my life. I now affirm to thrive and have fear take appointments with me, for any important conversations that need to happen. After all we are old friends.
(Just typing this brought up a tinge of fear in me – what if this is too much to ask? Thank you my friend – I hear you.)

I am so absolutely dissatisfied forever and yet have this absolute contentment in me for my life – How is it even working out? – Gloriously, I think. It is working out gloriously.

Everyday Warrior

Yesterday while walking along the ocean, the fallen woods called me to play on them and I found myself an experience of the strength and spaciousness of The Warrior. The strength felt is a very subtle inner power.

The warrior may have an ocean of emotions churning within, the warrior allows space for them. The ground the warrior stands on may not be wide or is a shaky one. The warrior has strong grounding through the legs and open arms to receive to the fullest – the breath and from life itself.

Later in the day I found myself contemplating- what does Yoga mean to me?

Yoga is about:

• cultivating positive energy and joy for our daily life.
• dropping the effort and developing the skill and focus for everyday ease.
• building our ability to sustain our productivity and functions for the long term.

The postures and movements may or may not be physically challenging for you. The effort is in the attention to cultivate a long smooth breath, that gives us the ability to be balanced in our body and mind. It helps cleanse the effects of stress and pain, physical and emotional.

The challenge is in maintaining focus of attention where it is required, often true even in our daily life. Yoga trains our mind for that focus, and to meet challenges with clarity & skill.

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects.

Mixed Feeling

Photo : Myself

Note :

I loved the process of editing the original picture for this quote image. I first settled on this effect above. I thought it mimicked the feeling that these words bring to me.

I do not have any training or skills for editing. While playing around with tools further I stumbled upon more dramatic effects that could be created. Another version of this above image got more appreciated by few friends and family that I shared with, while comparing the 2.

They actually made me feel very proud of my patience and creativity in getting those results. They convinced me of no other choice but to post that one because of how good it was. I truly enjoyed their excitement …until I was about to publish this post.

Both the versions with exact same picture and words invoked a very different feeling. What I had landed at originally, and posted above, seemed to come from a gentle quiet mind. The other felt loud and from a crowded mind.

I shared my dilemma and I am told to be willing to disappoint my dear ones but not to disappoint myself. I decided to stay true to myself and post my choice.

I am smiling in wonder about how my choices get shaped with what the opinions of my close ones are. I wonder how it is going to be, to keep moving forward with how I feel versus what seems more appreciated or attractive in the world in general.

For now I am sharing with you exactly how I feel and nothing more 🙂 Please let me know what you think about the image & quote above.

That Feeling

Photo : Manish Doshi

Thoughts : Creating this quote image was a blissful and fulfilling time spent.
The mind was very silent yet there was this urge to share with you.
And give words to how that silence felt. That is how the following came up …

When the mind wanders
And rests at the same time

They are the kind of moments
Where solitude and silence are present

Even when there are people around
And life continues from one day into the other

There is so much clearing within & a lot of awareness
The urge to say anything seems very less

Just like how your gaze and your mind wanders
Through those mountains, valleys and endless skies
Yet there is a stillness in mind that fills the eyes …

I love the feeling
When the mind wanders
And rests at the same time

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Debbie Roth truly leads our way to clear our mind space through the practice of forgiving.

What really died?

“Space” Photo: Manish Doshi – “Before Sunrise on Kauai”

A lot had to die
Bit
by
Bit
A lot died a whole lot
Before
The first Poetry was born

The Process of Poetry
Became the new Life

I wonder what really happened
When the poetry Itself died

A lot of Space opened up
Bit
by
Bit
A lot of Space a whole lot
Before
The new Beginning is born

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, please include this as a contribution to ForgivingFridays, if you see fit. I offer these words coming through, as a way of accepting the unfolding of life with no judgment.

Thinking Aloud

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “Moments of sunrise, Kauai”

I realized I always used to think aloud
It was wrong I was told & felt at times

I realize now what was right about it
Over the years I have started taking responsibility for what I think!

Aligning thoughts to higher truths
The freedom it brings is amazing
For now what I think is what I say
What I say is what I think aloud

Not a care but know it very well
Thought and word of intention
Is how I contribute to Creation

That which I call my world and reality
Emerges from thought, word & beyond
As if built brick by brick
One wonder & one moment at a time

This habit of mine I think served well!

 

P.S. This post was originally published on Oct 12, 2015.

Flight of Success

Photo Credit : Pelican in Flight by Atanu Chakraborty

When a bird soars high in the sky

What is it’s connection to the earth?
Is it aware of the height it is at?

Does it perceive the expanse around?
Does it perceive all the freedom surround?

Does it simply take flight in the light
All unaware of the ground below in sight?

Humans that dream of taking flight
Of what is called as success in their intention

When they do take flight in their realm

How aware and connected do they stay
To the ones they left behind in the day?

Do they become one with the height?
Not knowing any difference slight

It is the ones watching them who measure
The distance and the scale of the flight

Is this how detachment sets in
For the ones taking flight?

Suffering

Suffering is a sweet poison
One that seems to come without a choice
It stings sharp and deep
While it releases the nectar of Truth
It ends only after it has revealed
What’s hiding underneath!

Yes, you surely dislike it
It asks for a new way of being
Once you embrace it
It’s definitely more than sweet!

Lot of times we dislike what we need
And need what we dislike
Suffering makes sure we choose
That which we Must choose!

It cracks us open to the light of our soul
May you now play any role
Your truth will behold!

Makes you wonder who chose who
You chose the suffering
Or the suffering You!

Thinking Aloud

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “Moments of sunrise, Kauai”

I realized I always used to think aloud
It was wrong I was told & felt at times

I realize now what was right about it
Over the years I have started taking responsibility for what I think!

Aligning thoughts to higher truths
The freedom it brings is amazing
For now what I think is what I say
What I say is what I think aloud

Not a care but know it very well
Thought and word of intention
Is how I contribute to Creation

That which I call my world and reality
Emerges from thought, word & beyond
As if built brick by brick
One wonder & one moment at a time

This habit of mine I think served well!