Everyday Warrior

Yesterday while walking along the ocean, the fallen woods called me to play on them and I found myself an experience of the strength and spaciousness of The Warrior. The strength felt is a very subtle inner power.

The warrior may have an ocean of emotions churning within, the warrior allows space for them. The ground the warrior stands on may not be wide or is a shaky one. The warrior has strong grounding through the legs and open arms to receive to the fullest – the breath and from life itself.

Later in the day I found myself contemplating- what does Yoga mean to me?

Yoga is about:

  • cultivating positive energy and joy for our daily life.
  • dropping the effort and developing the skill and focus for everyday ease.
  • building our ability to sustain our productivity and functions for the long term.

The postures and movements may or may not be physically challenging for you. The effort is in the attention to cultivate a long smooth breath, that gives us the ability to be balanced in our body and mind. It helps cleanse the effects of stress and pain, physical and emotional.

The challenge is in maintaining focus of attention where it is required, often true even in our daily life. Yoga trains our mind for that focus, and to meet challenges with clarity & skill.

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects.

Being with Myself

Being with Myself

Photo & Quote by myself

I was so conditioned
to not being
comfortable
with myself
But then most company
did not give me
the contentment
that I can now
find on my own

 

Note: This is the longest I have gone without posting and I am not on a break from this blog space. I have grown more silent in my heart and mind than ever before. I am enjoying and appreciating the spaces in between everything than ever before. I found myself engaged in some rich experiences & ordinary yet special moments in those spaces. Genuine connection with family, people, nature and self happens in life when we allow these spaces. 

I did hit upon phases where I encountered some layers within, of unworthiness and self-judgment for how productive and creative I could be with my life. I appreciate the space that I could create between myself and those painful thoughts. I can let them pass through me. That is how I find another layer underneath, of peace & contentment.

 

Please check out https://earthfamilia.org/  A noble friend brother Pancho is on a One Earth Family walk. I had the privilege of joining him on some sections of the walk as he crossed our city.

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that models forgiving and self-acceptance as a practice.

Essence

Goodness Greatness

Photo: Manish Doshi

The more I frantically look for direction in life, the more I realize the way is through going inward and deeper within. The web of thoughts through which we try to navigate, feels real, but it is an illusion. I am finding it all over again that if I drop down in to the silence and space below it, I keep finding my way. The process always humbles me and brings me closer to what we are in essence. When we reach there, the essence finds a way to express itself. May we always find the ability to soak and rest in our essence. From there we thrive.

I love the space I get immersed in while creating these quote images like above. It is like my poetry phase but different 🙂

This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays Of Forgiving Connects, a blog space of profound healing through forgiveness and acceptance.

Pace of Success

Runner

Photo Credit: Vikram Phale

All the running in mind to get somewhere
Often makes us feel stuck in the nowhere

I have been enjoying the spaces in my mind
Between thoughts, of all kind & unkind

In arriving those spaces we get to face
Our self with all that we try to escape

Taking the time to know our own thoughts & emotions
Towards our self, others & this life

Enables us to choose with no fear
Our actions become crisp & clear

Slower we go, quicker we reach
To all that we truly beseech

We can either struggle, become impatient and keep running in our minds with how things should be, how we should be and how different we wish it all to be. Self-judgment often fuels this mind marathon.

OR

We can take time to truly know what we are reaching for through all that we want. All can become possible if we allow the time and space. Clarity of choice comes from the slowing down in our mind.

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgiving Connects.

 

 

 

Who’s breath am I breathing?

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Photo: Manish Doshi ‘A Breath of Fresh Air’

Who’s breath am I breathing?
Who’s story am I weaving?
Who’s memory am I churning?
Who’s thoughts am I carrying?

With each breath I take

Who’s life am I living?
Who’s pain am I feeling?
Who’s right to breathe freely have I made my story?
Who is it that I am not left with my own pure breath for myself?

We talk about letting go. And for that process we invite all our stories and all of others’ woes to look at, to be able to let go. And then we look at them and we defend them and justify them and find ourselves lost in them. And the only thing we let go of is our deep, pure breath. Nothing else.

I have found that I imbibe, absorb, feel, sense every thought, feeling, energy around me. I pick up on it very sensitively. At times making my inner life a chaotic tangle of feelings. I have made a personal career out of my life to continually keep cleaning out my energetic closet that sometimes catches the cobwebs of negativity, lies, untruthfulness, facades, envy, jealousy in thought and action directed or not towards me. Most times I am not even aware of any of this actually going on. I just feel horrible inside and I know I am not breathing my pure breath but breathing a heavy air of all that is toxic to me. My breath catches it like a virus. I just feel it.

I have found myself very strong, resilient, having magical perspectives that lift me above any drama and trauma, in the face of the worst. I am unshaken in faith when it comes to threats to the well being of those closest to me and those who choose to work with me. I am undaunted in my intention of creation of a life of possibility and true joy for all of us. I will not give up on my version of a world where we absolutely trust the spoken word, show up as our real self and have compassion for each other.

Yet I end up using tremendous energy to keep my head above the waters of feelings and emotions of those around me physically, virtually and spiritually. I am an empath who feels the hurt behind your need to lie to me, your need to be untruthful to me, to act what you don’t mean with me. Yes I actually feel it and live it until I process it to rise above it.

I know I have done this when I am able to breathe purely, deeply, fluidly, smoothly, softly, leisurely, luxuriously – just pure breath of air that does not carry any charge, thought, feeling, emotion, story attached to it.  I am glad it is becoming increasingly easier, and the beauty of life is pouring in for me.

Do you know what a gift this kind of breath is? Have you given yourself a breath solely for yourself lately? Have you lived a moment purely as yourself lately?

I have dedicated my life to just that – taking as many deeply pure breaths and teaching you to do the same. It is a learning process to be able to let go of the stories. Even the real ones have to be let go, so they actually change.

Let’s breathe space into our stories instead of our stories clinging to our breath.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnect, an amazing blog by Debbie Roth.

Ripples & Space

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Photo : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No turmoil
No need
No hurry
No worry
No concept
No boredom
No ecstacy
No fantasy

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No stillness
No movement
No silence
No sound
No reality
No dream
No solitude
No relations

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No clarity
No confusion
No plan
No action
No knowledge
No ignorance
No buoyancy
No resistance

Just Being
Space
Allowance
Contained
Content
Blank
Ripples

Just
Space
Behind the mind

Just Space

Space

 

 

Yoga – My Life & Work

Breathe life

IMG_1017

Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “BE in harmony with yourSelf”

While significantly playing our roles on earth …parent, son/daughter, employee/employer, relator/related in every/any possible way …somewhere we are always trying to connect with the individual in us. We are trying to make sense about what brings us pain and joy. To make choices that work for us best.

If we are not giving any regard, during the day, to the fact that we are breathing …how else are we, in any more effective way, connecting with ourselves? We came in alive on earth with our first breath in and we will leave when we last breathe out. If we are not cultivating a full breath, then in a way, we are limiting our possibilities at anything that is called life or life-related. We are cutting short the supply of life force itself, that which propels anything out of us. We put daily demands on our body with such enormous expectations.The quality of our breath determines our experience in our body and life.

If we work with our breath, the breath will work for us, for  lifetime.

When we are forcing, resisting, feeling like nothing works in our favor, not even in our body …it is our turn to work with our body and life. Allow it, nurture it, nourish it, communicate with it. Bring your attention to effective methods and cycles of breath, so that it flows in and out, empty of thinking …and then it is available for the messages from the body. They are not very logical, mental messages in words, they are more intuitive cues that feel more relaxed from within. They lead you towards more integration and choices more in harmony of your being.

 

P.S. Check out the new page added to my site Yoga – My work & life. I am grateful for your time always!

P.S. Dear Debbie, this post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays. I love the space you have created.

So close to home

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

So close to home
And as if trying to find my way
Just around the corner
And feeling as if lost on the way

Oh so puzzled
Mind all muddled
Oh usually that’s the way
It is, they say

It’s human, regular human
Easy to relate
Better than to create
And to reach home solemn

Relate to everyone around
Than create your path abound
Former may seem easy
Latter a thrill to foresee

So close to home
In there is it very lone?
Just around the corner
Seems fun to linger

There’s plenty of company
And also sometimes misery
Should I just go home
And see how it is to be lone?

All puzzled and muddled
I enter my home
To be cuddled
In my own heart and soul

Wish someone would accompany
There is a threshold though
Beyond which only I can go
It really doesn’t help to have anybody

Take the step, take the plunge and dive
Take your puzzles and the muddles
Rest them there and watch them live
Don’t solve the riddles
Don’t push nor let them cling really
Give them a place
And they will go away actually
Ah! this home is a peaceful space

Back out in the world
And around the corner again
Still trying to find my way
New found faith to help stay

The puzzles and the muddles
Don’t bother now
A light flickers every step of the way
Just follow the instinct I say

So close to home now I know
While always trying to find my way
I do often revisit home
Now that I also love to be lone …

Finding My Balance

Golden sunrise - on sea of blue - Sitapur beach - Neil Island - 1F8A1566

Golden Sunrise at Sea by Atanu Chakraborty

I find a place…for my elbow to rest on. A platform that is a good space to give me relief. My elbow finds balance on a solid surface, my head rests in my palm sideways. My mind finds some moments of peace.

The platform turns out to be a floating piece. It starts to shift, putting my elbow and my rest, out of balance. I could rely on it but only for a while.

Pulses of life, stir through the surroundings of the iceberg where I was resting my elbow. The solidity of the iceberg now seems shaken.

Shock of the coldness hits my face as the elbow slides off. I am thrown out of my comfort space.

I have been seeking concepts and beliefs and relations and interactions to depend on, for balance. To rely on, when challenged. Only to find out that they are all floating icebergs.

Lean on anything a bit too much, and you plunge into the cold deep abyss of the sea of truthful revelations, eventually.

Some icebergs are memories that we escape to. Trying to find any semblance of joy or pleasure or balance or support that we felt at a different time. As all icebergs, this one too, serves only for a while.

I have sought it in persons and relationships sometimesOnly that I am an iceberg for others too, sought out to balance some need in them. Oftentimes, each ends up blaming the other iceberg, for not staying steady and still, for them to lean on.

I decide to walk on to dry grounds, with none of the unreliable icebergs around to entice me. There are trees to rest under and the lush grass on solid ground, looks fulfilling. I will now depend on the nurturing Mother Earth to hold me, to support me. I find rest in the shade under a vibrant tree.

It seems like I have found my solace and semblance of balance that I can finally rely on. Only until …the winds start howling and the skies turn dark and shower me with piercing drops of revelations, leaving me drenched in the cold again.

Sometimes it wasn’t even the furious weather that left me all lost on the face of the planet. My own thoughts could create a tornado within, that left me as if, there is no ground to stand on.

“Where do I really rest? Mother Earth! Where on earth can I just rest?” I cried in despair, kneeling down with my head hung low.

Mother Earth, as if smiled, while continuing her own journey through the void, around the sun, not knowing what, comets and storms and humans, might hurl at her, at any time.

Nothing seems to be at rest. Relentless movement. We go on while coloring our perception with the illusion of support and stability.

At times, memories of someone and the conversations, color our days or months. Giving a sense of balance to the emptiness in the place we call home. The home that stands on the compassion of the planet and it’s time bound stability.

There are times I am totally present with those physically with me. And I become aware of the hurricanes within them, uprooting my sense of balance.

I also often become dependent on other people for my soul nourishment and direction to my human mind. Every time I become completely dependent, that iceberg plops under.

In my sane mind I realize that they have gone away seeking their own nourishment, or might have faltered their own of self depletion. In my human mind I sometimes blame them for not being there for me anymore.

After many such hurricanes and toppling under of icebergs, I finally realize there is this vast ocean of space within me. The more I dive into the center of it, the more stability I find.

I begin to sit with myself more often, without leaning.

I feel more grounded as I allow a deep breath in, into the expansiveness of my being, and empty it out from the core of my being, as softly and smoothly as I can. The more I rely on my own ability, to glide on the current of the life force, flowing through me with the breath, the more rooted I get in the stability of my own being. The platform I lean on is not tangible yet so plausible.

A sense of trust and surrender and choices of possibility and tremendous courage, gives me an easy resolve of steadiness, and the experience of innate balance.

I wobble at times, escape into known comforts sometimes, fear the unknown darkness sometimes, and then find my balance again, as I recognize it all for what it is.

The darkness is pure nothing until I fill it with something. Its spirit is illuminated with each breath and awareness that comes. The silence is rich with the knowing and the perceiving and the feeling that guides me, unless it is purely divine silence.

A warmth develops within me, that balances out the coldness of any sharp revelations. It flows through me, which feels like love in some form or kind.

That’s how, I find my center and balance, time and again, until I fall off, time and again …

 

Originally published in This Glorious Mess on Medium