Our Roles, Relations & Why We Suffer

The frustration of feeling dedicated fully in all relations

This post is an example of the conversations I send out to those who kindly joined me here: YogaSaar

One of the humbling privileges of working privately with individuals is the precious conversations we have:

”I go to work – manage and deliver to subordinates and bosses quite efficiently. I come back home and as a parent, I feel completely out of control, snapping at my kids – their optimism & humor feels a burden to me – all I see is their naivety, they don’t understand life as much! My parents live with me, I can’t make them unhappy at this age so I try to choose what they approve of. I am also managing my spouse’s relationship with my parents. It keeps going – I try to figure how to feel balanced even at home, not to react as much, and yet it just happens”

Reflections I offered during our session:
Yoga is a game of identities – are we aware of where we are operating from? Awareness brings heightened sensitivity. Do we allow the space to understand and deal with that? How can I sincerely have any amount of ease in all my roles? Where am I over-delivering and over-compensating – in my dedication to serve all my identities? Can I allow my kids to have their own journey and be with them in that?

Next time you feel overwhelmed say :”Thank you Mind, for showing me the complexities of all my roles through the overwhelming feelings I have. I got this from here – I need some space, now that I have heard all that you are saying, so you can rest now!
I pull back all energy from where it was excess and shine light in spaces where I wish to be more present, with slowness and ease. I reconnect and recalibrate in all my roles with more presence and awareness and space to Be with. I take the time, even if it makes my mind uncomfortable. I am willing to Do less.”

YogaSutra 2.3 – The root cause of all our suffering are 5 kleshas:
1. Avidya – is like a veil over our eyes, it is our projection of past impressions, so we see things as other than what they really are.
2. Asmita – is the identity we operate with. Here lies the frustration with different identities intersecting – work, daughter, mother, wife – Who am I really? Buying into the idea that I am actually one of those is a klesha.
3. Raga – attachment to a comfortable/preferred outcome, what I would like to happen (in each of the identities above)
4. Dvesha – aversion or trying to avoid something from happening, what I dislike.
Abhinivesha – fear of the outcome
Any time we operate from one of the above we struggle, we suffer. Right action has an underlying peace to it, even if the choice is difficult to act on.

If you would enjoy my writings through the lens of yoga I will be thrilled to have you in conversation. I write regularly but inconsistently. Please add your name here: YogaSaar

If you have never worked with me before, I offer a 3 session orientation package of private yoga therapy at 15plus% discount to discover if you want to continue. Online available and has been effective.
Write to me if you want more information, sign up only if it supports you.

Free virtual seminar with follow up 8 week series (included) on Woman's Health & Well Being through all stages of life on Saturday March 25, register here:
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Until next time, may you be gentle in your being and sparkling from your soul.

Much Love & Gratitude,
Pragalbha Doshi E-RYT500
http://www.yogasaar.com

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Oh the Gratitude & Joy

It is Monday, time for my weekly post. I almost decided to skip posting today. The only way to convey the deep rich silence I am feeling full with, is Silence – I thought. And yet I wanted to park myself in this space. To be Here with you all. So then I decided to bring these glimpses of my yesterday to you, a day I spent in the golden weather and nature of California with a dear friend. These pictures are the only times I felt the urge to use my phone, and lock the moments in memory. I didn’t plan well to be able to share with you better, I hope you feel the magic dripping from the moments I did capture.

The Vineyards of Napa Valley

The Train, The Road & The Vineyards: It was thrilling to spot the train coming, pulling over the shoulder on the highway, and the perfect timing of my friend getting out of the car to get this picture. (We were also being safe :))

It felt like I had never seen more beautiful ripples on water.

Yeah the weather was pure gold

Such ornamental display by the side of the parking lot!

Made me forget I was standing on the sidewalk of a busy traffic street, I thought I wanted to spend the day sitting on this carpet.

As I lined my spine on Earth, looking at this sky through the Leaves&Light, the aroma of fresh grass replenished my Being

Entering Storyland …as if. This photo is by my friend.

Oh, the Gratitude & Joy I feel!!

Blessed Feelings. I offer to you the peace and rich silence within. Hope you take some moments to yourself and breathe in with ease & joy of your Being.

You are Here, Awake & Alive

There is subtle calibration of life processes that keep us going at our optimal, or become out of balance. It may show up in our ability to stay calm or feel overwhelmed in turmoil.

How do we access that calibration? How do we access the unmoving stability, strength, focus, ease of our being when surrounded by chaos, confusion or challenging life experiences that seem to be real and unreal at the same time.

The capacity to bridge & reach the unmoving stillness within, from all the unrelenting movements around and the mixing up of what is normal and the new normal – how do we explore the edges of this capacity?

One way for me is through a breath-oriented yoga practice in which the breath is invited to stay long and smooth no matter what posture, and move only in co-ordination with that breath. It is a distinctly different effort for the body and mind. It helps us explore our individual patterns of how we add stress to our being and bring more awareness, consciousness, calibration for optimal functioning. The result is a sense of calmness and clarity. The more consistently I practice, sooner I am able to get back to balance, each time I lose it.

Above pictures are from a Healing Trail I walked with 2 of my meditation friends – We walked with prayer and intention for all our families, brothers and sisters from India who are in such deep suffering with losing loved ones on a daily basis. We expressed humble gratitude for this blessed opportunity to get to walk on this planet, be together in that moment – “You are here awake and alive” – we have that available preciously in each moment Now. I chose to share just these out of a lot more such markers on this trail, because I connected with these the most on this day. I feel a sense of spaciousness after walking this trail, within me and around me along with being connected to everything and everyone.

Perhaps go back and look at the pictures again, peer through them if they can give you the peace.

P.S. If you are curious, check out my yoga website : www.YogaSaar.com

Drink in with your Senses

The peace of pink & purple I can see

The expanse pours in through my ears

The sweet gratitude I smell reaches my heart

All the pores of my skin bloom open

And then seal in the feelings together

That taste of fullness lingers airily on my tongue

Peace, gratitude and expansiveness

Of the pink sky and majestic mountain

Are now part of my being

Photo by Manish Doshi – Death Valley National Park, CA

Inner Joy

The Earth, The Sky – photo by myself

Open your eyes to the Earth and the Sky, close them now. Do you still see the magic between the two? And feel that smile of the inner joy?

Everyday Warrior

Yesterday while walking along the ocean, the fallen woods called me to play on them and I found myself an experience of the strength and spaciousness of The Warrior. The strength felt is a very subtle inner power.

The warrior may have an ocean of emotions churning within, the warrior allows space for them. The ground the warrior stands on may not be wide or is a shaky one. The warrior has strong grounding through the legs and open arms to receive to the fullest – the breath and from life itself.

Later in the day I found myself contemplating- what does Yoga mean to me?

Yoga is about:

• cultivating positive energy and joy for our daily life.
• dropping the effort and developing the skill and focus for everyday ease.
• building our ability to sustain our productivity and functions for the long term.

The postures and movements may or may not be physically challenging for you. The effort is in the attention to cultivate a long smooth breath, that gives us the ability to be balanced in our body and mind. It helps cleanse the effects of stress and pain, physical and emotional.

The challenge is in maintaining focus of attention where it is required, often true even in our daily life. Yoga trains our mind for that focus, and to meet challenges with clarity & skill.

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects.

Being with Myself

Photo & Quote by myself

I was so conditioned
to not being
comfortable
with myself
But then most company
did not give me
the contentment
that I can now
find on my own

 

Note: This is the longest I have gone without posting and I am not on a break from this blog space. I have grown more silent in my heart and mind than ever before. I am enjoying and appreciating the spaces in between everything than ever before. I found myself engaged in some rich experiences & ordinary yet special moments in those spaces. Genuine connection with family, people, nature and self happens in life when we allow these spaces. 

I did hit upon phases where I encountered some layers within, of unworthiness and self-judgment for how productive and creative I could be with my life. I appreciate the space that I could create between myself and those painful thoughts. I can let them pass through me. That is how I find another layer underneath, of peace & contentment.

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that models forgiving and self-acceptance as a practice.

Essence

Photo: Manish Doshi

The more I frantically look for direction in life, the more I realize the way is through going inward and deeper within. The web of thoughts through which we try to navigate, feels real, but it is an illusion. I am finding it all over again that if I drop down in to the silence and space below it, I keep finding my way. The process always humbles me and brings me closer to what we are in essence. When we reach there, the essence finds a way to express itself. May we always find the ability to soak and rest in our essence. From there we thrive.

I love the space I get immersed in while creating these quote images like above. It is like my poetry phase but different 🙂

This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays Of Forgiving Connects, a blog space of profound healing through forgiveness and acceptance.

Pace of Success

Photo Credit: Vikram Phale

All the running in mind to get somewhere
Often makes us feel stuck in the nowhere

I have been enjoying the spaces in my mind
Between thoughts, of all kind & unkind

In arriving those spaces we get to face
Our self with all that we try to escape

Taking the time to know our own thoughts & emotions
Towards our self, others & this life

Enables us to choose with no fear
Our actions become crisp & clear

Slower we go, quicker we reach
To all that we truly beseech

We can either struggle, become impatient and keep running in our minds with how things should be, how we should be and how different we wish it all to be. Self-judgment often fuels this mind marathon.

OR

We can take time to truly know what we are reaching for through all that we want. All can become possible if we allow the time and space. Clarity of choice comes from the slowing down in our mind.

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgiving Connects.

 

 

 

The Space Within

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “Sunrise on Kauai”