Being with Myself

Being with Myself

Photo & Quote by myself

I was so conditioned
to not being
comfortable
with myself
But then most company
did not give me
the contentment
that I can now
find on my own

 

Note: This is the longest I have gone without posting and I am not on a break from this blog space. I have grown more silent in my heart and mind than ever before. I am enjoying and appreciating the spaces in between everything than ever before. I found myself engaged in some rich experiences & ordinary yet special moments in those spaces. Genuine connection with family, people, nature and self happens in life when we allow these spaces. 

I did hit upon phases where I encountered some layers within, of unworthiness and self-judgment for how productive and creative I could be with my life. I appreciate the space that I could create between myself and those painful thoughts. I can let them pass through me. That is how I find another layer underneath, of peace & contentment.

 

Please check out https://earthfamilia.org/  A noble friend brother Pancho is on a One Earth Family walk. I had the privilege of joining him on some sections of the walk as he crossed our city.

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that models forgiving and self-acceptance as a practice.

That Feeling

That Feeling

Photo : Manish Doshi

Thoughts : Creating this quote image was a blissful and fulfilling time spent.
The mind was very silent yet there was this urge to share with you.
And give words to how that silence felt. That is how the following came up …

When the mind wanders
And rests at the same time

They are the kind of moments
Where solitude and silence are present

Even when there are people around
And life continues from one day into the other

There is so much clearing within & a lot of awareness
The urge to say anything seems very less

Just like how your gaze and your mind wanders
Through those mountains, valleys and endless skies
Yet there is a stillness in mind that fills the eyes …

I love the feeling
When the mind wanders
And rests at the same time

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Debbie Roth truly leads our way to clear our mind space through the practice of forgiving.

Sparks Within

Fire

Photo Credit : Self

 

Just.             This.            Thought.          Today.

Because  all  I  hear  is  the  Silence  Within.

As    I     listen    to     the     Sparks     Within.

They   are   a   memory   of   a  Magical   Joy.

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays for ForgivingConnects, a beautiful blog space of inspiration.

Essence

Goodness Greatness

Photo: Manish Doshi

The more I frantically look for direction in life, the more I realize the way is through going inward and deeper within. The web of thoughts through which we try to navigate, feels real, but it is an illusion. I am finding it all over again that if I drop down in to the silence and space below it, I keep finding my way. The process always humbles me and brings me closer to what we are in essence. When we reach there, the essence finds a way to express itself. May we always find the ability to soak and rest in our essence. From there we thrive.

I love the space I get immersed in while creating these quote images like above. It is like my poetry phase but different 🙂

This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays Of Forgiving Connects, a blog space of profound healing through forgiveness and acceptance.

Pace of Success

Runner

Photo Credit: Vikram Phale

All the running in mind to get somewhere
Often makes us feel stuck in the nowhere

I have been enjoying the spaces in my mind
Between thoughts, of all kind & unkind

In arriving those spaces we get to face
Our self with all that we try to escape

Taking the time to know our own thoughts & emotions
Towards our self, others & this life

Enables us to choose with no fear
Our actions become crisp & clear

Slower we go, quicker we reach
To all that we truly beseech

We can either struggle, become impatient and keep running in our minds with how things should be, how we should be and how different we wish it all to be. Self-judgment often fuels this mind marathon.

OR

We can take time to truly know what we are reaching for through all that we want. All can become possible if we allow the time and space. Clarity of choice comes from the slowing down in our mind.

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgiving Connects.

 

 

 

Letting Go

Let Go

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi @ Death Valley, CA

I am thinking whether to add thoughts to the above quote
Or let go of that need
To say more…

I am thinking of sharing how rich it has been to become slow
Or let go of that need
To say more …

I am thinking of sharing how finally I am able to rest in my Being
Or let go of that need
To say more …

I am thinking of sharing how much more is getting done now
Or let go of that need
To say more …

I am thinking of sharing how amazing it is to choose & enjoy just one thing at a time
Or let go of that need
To say more …

I am thinking I want to say it all, yet wish to just be the Silence, Slowness, Space
Let go of that need
To say more …

I am thinking, writing, wording, and also Being the Silence & Space
I let go of the need
To be or do anything other than what I am right now.

 

P.S. This post is a grateful contribution to ForgivingFridays, an amazing initiative by Debbie Roth of Forgiving Connects.

Solitude

Solitude

Photo Credit : Vikram Phale (along with the words Solitude imprinted)

The challenge is to truly breathe
&
Be alone in the mind

When in Solitude

 

P.S. This quote had come to me in response to a blog post by The Chatter Blog I love this blog and you will too. Her illustrations are just awesome. Her message profound yet full of lightness, simplicity & often fun.

Image designed and published by Scene & Heard – a publication on Medium

Ripples & Space

IMG_2415-02

Photo : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No turmoil
No need
No hurry
No worry
No concept
No boredom
No ecstacy
No fantasy

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No stillness
No movement
No silence
No sound
No reality
No dream
No solitude
No relations

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No clarity
No confusion
No plan
No action
No knowledge
No ignorance
No buoyancy
No resistance

Just Being
Space
Allowance
Contained
Content
Blank
Ripples

Just
Space
Behind the mind

Just Space

Space

 

 

Yoga – My Life & Work

Finding My Balance

Golden sunrise - on sea of blue - Sitapur beach - Neil Island - 1F8A1566

Golden Sunrise at Sea by Atanu Chakraborty

I find a place…for my elbow to rest on. A platform that is a good space to give me relief. My elbow finds balance on a solid surface, my head rests in my palm sideways. My mind finds some moments of peace.

The platform turns out to be a floating piece. It starts to shift, putting my elbow and my rest, out of balance. I could rely on it but only for a while.

Pulses of life, stir through the surroundings of the iceberg where I was resting my elbow. The solidity of the iceberg now seems shaken.

Shock of the coldness hits my face as the elbow slides off. I am thrown out of my comfort space.

I have been seeking concepts and beliefs and relations and interactions to depend on, for balance. To rely on, when challenged. Only to find out that they are all floating icebergs.

Lean on anything a bit too much, and you plunge into the cold deep abyss of the sea of truthful revelations, eventually.

Some icebergs are memories that we escape to. Trying to find any semblance of joy or pleasure or balance or support that we felt at a different time. As all icebergs, this one too, serves only for a while.

I have sought it in persons and relationships sometimesOnly that I am an iceberg for others too, sought out to balance some need in them. Oftentimes, each ends up blaming the other iceberg, for not staying steady and still, for them to lean on.

I decide to walk on to dry grounds, with none of the unreliable icebergs around to entice me. There are trees to rest under and the lush grass on solid ground, looks fulfilling. I will now depend on the nurturing Mother Earth to hold me, to support me. I find rest in the shade under a vibrant tree.

It seems like I have found my solace and semblance of balance that I can finally rely on. Only until …the winds start howling and the skies turn dark and shower me with piercing drops of revelations, leaving me drenched in the cold again.

Sometimes it wasn’t even the furious weather that left me all lost on the face of the planet. My own thoughts could create a tornado within, that left me as if, there is no ground to stand on.

“Where do I really rest? Mother Earth! Where on earth can I just rest?” I cried in despair, kneeling down with my head hung low.

Mother Earth, as if smiled, while continuing her own journey through the void, around the sun, not knowing what, comets and storms and humans, might hurl at her, at any time.

Nothing seems to be at rest. Relentless movement. We go on while coloring our perception with the illusion of support and stability.

At times, memories of someone and the conversations, color our days or months. Giving a sense of balance to the emptiness in the place we call home. The home that stands on the compassion of the planet and it’s time bound stability.

There are times I am totally present with those physically with me. And I become aware of the hurricanes within them, uprooting my sense of balance.

I also often become dependent on other people for my soul nourishment and direction to my human mind. Every time I become completely dependent, that iceberg plops under.

In my sane mind I realize that they have gone away seeking their own nourishment, or might have faltered their own of self depletion. In my human mind I sometimes blame them for not being there for me anymore.

After many such hurricanes and toppling under of icebergs, I finally realize there is this vast ocean of space within me. The more I dive into the center of it, the more stability I find.

I begin to sit with myself more often, without leaning.

I feel more grounded as I allow a deep breath in, into the expansiveness of my being, and empty it out from the core of my being, as softly and smoothly as I can. The more I rely on my own ability, to glide on the current of the life force, flowing through me with the breath, the more rooted I get in the stability of my own being. The platform I lean on is not tangible yet so plausible.

A sense of trust and surrender and choices of possibility and tremendous courage, gives me an easy resolve of steadiness, and the experience of innate balance.

I wobble at times, escape into known comforts sometimes, fear the unknown darkness sometimes, and then find my balance again, as I recognize it all for what it is.

The darkness is pure nothing until I fill it with something. Its spirit is illuminated with each breath and awareness that comes. The silence is rich with the knowing and the perceiving and the feeling that guides me, unless it is purely divine silence.

A warmth develops within me, that balances out the coldness of any sharp revelations. It flows through me, which feels like love in some form or kind.

That’s how, I find my center and balance, time and again, until I fall off, time and again …

 

Originally published in This Glorious Mess on Medium