That Curious Space

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Force that cuts Through”

There is a way of life you flow through
There comes a force that just cuts through
Breaks you apart from what you live through
Wipes you out with that, what you grow through

The surge comes with no warning through
Momentum of what Is, replaced with what gashes through
Seems like all is stopped and slowed through
There is all of that, what is then struggled through

Then there comes surrender to faith through
Nuggets of precious insights, joyful moments trickle through
There is a space of wonderment created through
Between where you got pushed from & where you are being led through

Rest in that curious space, don’t rush through …

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects of dear blogger/Kindness teacher Debbie.

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Ripples & Space

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Photo : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No turmoil
No need
No hurry
No worry
No concept
No boredom
No ecstacy
No fantasy

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No stillness
No movement
No silence
No sound
No reality
No dream
No solitude
No relations

Just Being
In the body
With the mind
No clarity
No confusion
No plan
No action
No knowledge
No ignorance
No buoyancy
No resistance

Just Being
Space
Allowance
Contained
Content
Blank
Ripples

Just
Space
Behind the mind

Just Space

Space

 

 

Yoga – My Life & Work

So close to home

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

So close to home
And as if trying to find my way
Just around the corner
And feeling as if lost on the way

Oh so puzzled
Mind all muddled
Oh usually that’s the way
It is, they say

It’s human, regular human
Easy to relate
Better than to create
And to reach home solemn

Relate to everyone around
Than create your path abound
Former may seem easy
Latter a thrill to foresee

So close to home
In there is it very lone?
Just around the corner
Seems fun to linger

There’s plenty of company
And also sometimes misery
Should I just go home
And see how it is to be lone?

All puzzled and muddled
I enter my home
To be cuddled
In my own heart and soul

Wish someone would accompany
There is a threshold though
Beyond which only I can go
It really doesn’t help to have anybody

Take the step, take the plunge and dive
Take your puzzles and the muddles
Rest them there and watch them live
Don’t solve the riddles
Don’t push nor let them cling really
Give them a place
And they will go away actually
Ah! this home is a peaceful space

Back out in the world
And around the corner again
Still trying to find my way
New found faith to help stay

The puzzles and the muddles
Don’t bother now
A light flickers every step of the way
Just follow the instinct I say

So close to home now I know
While always trying to find my way
I do often revisit home
Now that I also love to be lone …

Finding My Balance

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Golden Sunrise at Sea by Atanu Chakraborty

I find a place…for my elbow to rest on. A platform that is a good space to give me relief. My elbow finds balance on a solid surface, my head rests in my palm sideways. My mind finds some moments of peace.

The platform turns out to be a floating piece. It starts to shift, putting my elbow and my rest, out of balance. I could rely on it but only for a while.

Pulses of life, stir through the surroundings of the iceberg where I was resting my elbow. The solidity of the iceberg now seems shaken.

Shock of the coldness hits my face as the elbow slides off. I am thrown out of my comfort space.

I have been seeking concepts and beliefs and relations and interactions to depend on, for balance. To rely on, when challenged. Only to find out that they are all floating icebergs.

Lean on anything a bit too much, and you plunge into the cold deep abyss of the sea of truthful revelations, eventually.

Some icebergs are memories that we escape to. Trying to find any semblance of joy or pleasure or balance or support that we felt at a different time. As all icebergs, this one too, serves only for a while.

I have sought it in persons and relationships sometimesOnly that I am an iceberg for others too, sought out to balance some need in them. Oftentimes, each ends up blaming the other iceberg, for not staying steady and still, for them to lean on.

I decide to walk on to dry grounds, with none of the unreliable icebergs around to entice me. There are trees to rest under and the lush grass on solid ground, looks fulfilling. I will now depend on the nurturing Mother Earth to hold me, to support me. I find rest in the shade under a vibrant tree.

It seems like I have found my solace and semblance of balance that I can finally rely on. Only until …the winds start howling and the skies turn dark and shower me with piercing drops of revelations, leaving me drenched in the cold again.

Sometimes it wasn’t even the furious weather that left me all lost on the face of the planet. My own thoughts could create a tornado within, that left me as if, there is no ground to stand on.

“Where do I really rest? Mother Earth! Where on earth can I just rest?” I cried in despair, kneeling down with my head hung low.

Mother Earth, as if smiled, while continuing her own journey through the void, around the sun, not knowing what, comets and storms and humans, might hurl at her, at any time.

Nothing seems to be at rest. Relentless movement. We go on while coloring our perception with the illusion of support and stability.

At times, memories of someone and the conversations, color our days or months. Giving a sense of balance to the emptiness in the place we call home. The home that stands on the compassion of the planet and it’s time bound stability.

There are times I am totally present with those physically with me. And I become aware of the hurricanes within them, uprooting my sense of balance.

I also often become dependent on other people for my soul nourishment and direction to my human mind. Every time I become completely dependent, that iceberg plops under.

In my sane mind I realize that they have gone away seeking their own nourishment, or might have faltered their own of self depletion. In my human mind I sometimes blame them for not being there for me anymore.

After many such hurricanes and toppling under of icebergs, I finally realize there is this vast ocean of space within me. The more I dive into the center of it, the more stability I find.

I begin to sit with myself more often, without leaning.

I feel more grounded as I allow a deep breath in, into the expansiveness of my being, and empty it out from the core of my being, as softly and smoothly as I can. The more I rely on my own ability, to glide on the current of the life force, flowing through me with the breath, the more rooted I get in the stability of my own being. The platform I lean on is not tangible yet so plausible.

A sense of trust and surrender and choices of possibility and tremendous courage, gives me an easy resolve of steadiness, and the experience of innate balance.

I wobble at times, escape into known comforts sometimes, fear the unknown darkness sometimes, and then find my balance again, as I recognize it all for what it is.

The darkness is pure nothing until I fill it with something. Its spirit is illuminated with each breath and awareness that comes. The silence is rich with the knowing and the perceiving and the feeling that guides me, unless it is purely divine silence.

A warmth develops within me, that balances out the coldness of any sharp revelations. It flows through me, which feels like love in some form or kind.

That’s how, I find my center and balance, time and again, until I fall off, time and again …

 

Originally published in This Glorious Mess on Medium

Silent Communication

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Photo : Pragalbha Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

We know there is so much to say to each other
Yet at times we don’t, a word utter

We came here with a soul contract
What makes us then at times retract

There are puzzling times trying to decide
Whether to say it or let it slide

There are other times of peace
When past spoken words bring ease

There is a feeling of contentment
After what feels like communication silent

There is relief in the assumption
The other knows exactly in intention

All that was left unsaid
So much that was often withheld

There is sometimes this entire conversation
In that which is silent communication

Guilty of Solitude?

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My Solitude

…And this came up, as I looked at yet another photo from my personal retreat.

And how long did it take me
To be here and be this
Just be with such joy of being
With myself and that too with no guilt?

And how long did it take me
To realize that being here and being this
Being with myself with such joy
Does not hurt any other role of mine
That it makes me only better in all the roles
That I have been blessed with on earth?

And how long until I was willing to be
In such places and times
That bring up pure gratitude and bliss
These places and these times living in me
In ways that I don’t really anything miss?

And how long until I realized
That I had felt ever so lonely
While in the midst of all crowd
That in solitude I was never really alone?

I have all of so many souls and their journeys living in me
I have become this person made of all of you
That I keep drifting off in this space
Of thoughts & impressions of you all
And then just nothing but this pure space
Of being in this pure space on earth …