I used to remain small
to keep others comfortable
They did console themselves
that I am nobody big
I am nobody big
I am no small either
There is a big difference…
I wish us all to continue to live with the truth of our being, with courage and compassion in relation to each other. I found this in the corners of my old drafts, while I was looking for something else. I enjoyed reading it back to myself and thought I should share it 🙂
Those who seem to be happy all the time
Don’t judge them or take them for granted.
Often they have taken deep dives into grief or depression.
They have somehow managed not to drown
and that’s why the smile.
Those who think & act from the heart
Don’t try to fix them, it is not a weakness.
Often they are being their own version of strength.
They are somehow trying not to hurt anyone
and that’s why the tears.
What if we actually live all that we have been feeling & made guilty of? Instead of forever trying to keep living & convincing otherwise?
Where else does this question seem relevant to you?
If you manipulate your way in changing the other person in a relationship, you will not feel the joy when that change comes. The thrill will go away quickly and the change won’t last.
If you manipulate your way of being in a relationship, the other person will reflect back the changes in you in the most beautiful way. This is a slow process of skillful transformation. Everything changes. You get to keep the authentic relation forever or let go. Let go of the expectation or sometimes the relation itself. You experience the most peaceful joy. It comes from finding yourself, discovering how you relate to yourself and strengthening that bond first.
It is our patterns that shape our relations. Let go of the blame of how people distanced from you. It is important to address what is the pattern in you, and what addiction of yours were they serving? Validation, approval, connection, filling up some emptiness – what is it that you were needing?
In the space that is consciously created, the real ones always stay or return. Because you returned back to yourself and allowed them to find themselves.
No judgment, all compassion, kindness and love, for oneself and others. All healthy boundaries.
P.S. 2020 became the year of deep reflection for how I relate to myself and others, seeking another level of balance in my personal spiritual journey and authentic relations. The nature of some family, society and worldly relations managed to create dissonance while also refining my appreciation for simple happy times with my immediate family.
If you feel inclined here are some of my other posts on relationships from different times. I appreciate all thought processes shared on my posts. All exchanges of perspectives are a growth for all.
All of us what we look like
Have a story of our life
Sometimes really brave ones
And then those that we hide
When we want to change
Something in what we look like
It is actually something
We want to change in our life
I had never stepped out in my glasses all my life until this year. I simply forgot to put that attention before I showed up in front of the current zoom world of 2020. I stopped caring if I was wearing my blue glasses, red glasses or contact lenses, eliciting so many responses of how great I look in my glasses and how they never knew I wore glasses. I found myself smiling – at the realization that I have really grown more comfortable in my skin. That I did make this distinct preparation to face the world, was actually acceptable and enjoyable to me, until it didn’t matter anymore.
Social media presence brings some interesting experiences and often loaded with judgment with regards to appearances. No matter how deep my body of work is, my social media posts are at times selectively responded to, as if it is a display fishing for superficial praise, disregarding the story, the very journey that makes me who I am today and continually learning to show up for who I simply am. Gratefully such instances are few, yet they have shown up sadly from those who I considered close circle, long time acquaintance/friend. Mostly otherwise I am blessed with warmth, love and support from those who see me as a person for my appearance, also read me and my writings.
The stories of our life truly define how we show up in all genuineness and joy. There is a lot of courage often in showing up anywhere. And when there is ease, there is a story of our life behind that ease. There is a story of our life behind not wanting to show up – even on social media. There is often judgment we hold for ourselves and against those who do show up.
So many of us often are waiting to look different. Some of us flow through changes gracefully, some of us struggle. Also so many personalities look the same, pandemic or no pandemic. Every instance is a story that we are hiding or not, something we are willing and need to change in our life, or not. What we really want different is how we feel about ourselves. This life is all we have, we are who we are & how we are. There is a lot of love to be discovered in that.
Is this Waterfall Big or Small?
I used to remain small to keep others comfortable
That’s how we were used to being, relative to each other
I feel nobody big
I feel nobody small either
There is a big difference…
*Kindly excuse me as I will be a bit delayed in getting back to your kind comments, in a day or two surely.
P.S. This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that promotes healing through forgiving of our judgments and limitations.
Often we carry our judgments as if our strengths
Often we don’t realize so much of it is self-judgment
So many demands on ourselves for that perfection or just rightness
So much guilt and embarrassment for that which doesn’t feel like our own self
It takes courage to look at all that and accept, love, forgive ourselves
It is tremendous relief to rest into ourselves softly, with all that we find there
Would you do this for yourself? Feel compassion just for a moment?
Would you rest in this moment? Find a way to keep going with kindness for yourself?
This post is a dedication to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Dear Debbie, your work on this blog is a profound positive influence on me. Much Love.
It is Not a Necessity
To Be Understood
Such Freedom to Understand this
The numbness that we wear, in order to always smile
Choosing not to feel the pain, with that practiced smile
It is liberating to experience all there is, and not smile
For the true joys of life do not necessitate that we smile
One that comes from the heart and eyes is a true smile
P.S. This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects, a blog by dear Debbie Roth, that is a wonderful work in support of acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self- love.
To judge my Spirituality
Religion teaches, there exists a spirit
Spiritualness is, within me, feeling it
Religion teaches what is to be followed sincerely
Spirit of life clear & evident as I listened truly
Sometimes ritual leads to the spirit
Sometimes the spirit invokes a ritual
You and I both seek the same treasure
The keys to it we differently measure
It is unrelenting mystery, this life
Not so easy when you with me at strife
As seekers we are led to the same Light
From you I seek your wisdom and insight
Will you reckon me as I am?
Your exact footsteps,
I might not follow them
I ask of you earnestly
Don’t use your religion-ality
To judge my Spirituality
To Person 1
Though this nastiness
That you are giving others
Is Not You.
That You are happy with
Take your time.
You will be thrilled
At the wondrous change in you.
You will enjoy Being You.
To Person 2
I am Being Me.
Though this attitude of mine
Is not agreeable to you.
I am finding myself incapable
Of dumbing down
To make you feel good.
Take your time.
And reach out to me.
You will find
My Love and Regard for you
Can stay the same always.
I am thrilled
At this wondrous change in me.
I am enjoying Being Me.