A Good marriage is the Best

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Picture: Self  ‘A perfect fit?’ Editing: Vikram Phale

A happy marriage does not simply exist
The choices of happiness in it does

A perfect marriage does not just exist
The courage and kindness in one does

A marriage with all agreement does not exist
The growing up in disagreements does

A forever romantic marriage does not exist
The willing creation of undefined love does

A successful marriage does not already exist
The commitment towards success in it does

 

Some of my in-depth views and articles on this topic below!

Is there a Perfect Spouse?

Don’t Blow up your Life!

Truthful Commitments

Relationships …a choice or a privilege!

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My Worry for You

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Photo: Manish Doshi, Photographed: My son, at sunset on Kauai

My worry for you is my arrogance
As if your life journey is by my sustenance
It’s only my attachment and gratification
To be a defined part of your vivification
As if I distrust the soul ability of your person
To find your own purposeful navigation

For me to be any worthful contribution
I would find a way in thought, word & action
Offer to you with grateful & unhurried acceptance
Trust the gift of your own endurance
Assuredly allow all of the miraculous
Waiting to flow to you from the Universe

My worry about you is my arrogance

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Dear Debbie I admire and enjoy your work of surrender, acceptance & forgiveness.

Feel Shine Melt Love

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Photo Credit: Virag Doshi

Feeling invisible
I seek longingly

To become visible
I burn seethingly

Find that the burning
Shines bright my yearning

You drop a glance at me
Then take it away so quickly

In that moment I know
And you know what we see

Now I want to keep burning
All that feels invisible in my feeling

Each time you look away
I will keep burning away

Until I shine so bright
You can’t evade my light

The heat of this resolve
Melts away my fury

As I come to know newly
There is no you or I

What’s burning away is my own lie
What you are is the divine eye

None but that part of me
That I am not willing to see

Rather than simply and magnificently Be
Keeps hiding behind the cloak of invisibility

And the fear of dying unseen
Or is it the fear of living and being seen

Oh dear me the heart keeps beating
Be kind with your breathing

All is good about the burning
All is beautiful about the feeling

Oh dear me there is no you no me
All there is, is to love me, so I love me

 

This post is a contribution to Debbie Roth’s ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. This poem comes back to me very loudly, to help me accept where I am today without judgment and fan my intentions for moving forward from where I am.

Originally published on Jan 23, 2017

Truthful Commitments

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “A wave washes over” at sunset on Kauai

Please read my previous post Don’t blow up your Life, as I continue my thoughts on long term relationships, while staying true to yourself, in this post.

There are long term relationships that have security of commitment and complete trust. Sometimes the problem that people face, in such relations, is of feeling saturated and locked in roles chosen for themselves.

The point of view of what you are required to do day after day, year after year becomes a sort of a confinement. You forget to ask if, whatever you choose to do, adds to the well being of you, or your relationship. When you do things because the other won’t do it or do it well enough, resentment builds up. The really small things in life become the biggest concern in such relationships.

There comes a rigidity of perspectives or a denial of an important communication that needs to happen. There is a knowing that one can depend on the other for life itself when needed, yet there is discontent on a daily basis.

The small things that become a pattern in a long time, call for conversations that feel difficult.  You make the conclusion that it is not something worth bringing up. After so long why doesn’t the other understand without explaining? – you ask. Eventually distress comes up just in presence of the other person. The original intention of love is so strong that you can’t imagine having THE conversation. This so called love cannot see the other in pain, angst or anger. So the pattern continues.

I think it is very arrogant of you, to keep living your partner’s distress and your’s, on your own. Robbing the other, an opportunity of living and facing their own humanness. Say your truth, yes the difficult one, and let the other feel the distress.

Hold the space for all unfoldings with love. Give space so you are not intersecting emotions. Allow the mess and the chaos. It is as short lived as the phases of happiness themselves. Remind each other anew the goodness that made you choose each other, in the first place.

When that wave has lived its life and washed over each of you, it will leave behind, your own joyful ways of being. Then when you meet each other in your own truth and joy, THAT is when you really meet each other again.

You experience the juice of the joy of being together. True commitment and love in relations comes in allowing space for each to find themselves and their truths.  Accepting the other, in all phases of that quest.

Marriages have happened for all kinds of reasons – physical, societal, familial, and because you had a knowing of certainty regarding your commitment. None are exempt from evolution, personal or relational. When we feel the greater Love in our being to share with each other, THAT is true union. And it always exists in intention and potential.

We are souls who found each other in commitment to do this work with ourselves, to have someone to come home to, from our deep explorations of ourselves.

And so we hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. We speak our truth, the ones that did not have an opportunity before, because what we had was enough, or we simply chose to escape the discomfort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead!

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgving Connect, a blog space I adore by dear Debbie Roth.

Don’t Blow Up your Life

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “New Day begins on Kauai”

In the recent days I have had probably one less than someteen conversations regarding relationships while being true to yourself.

There comes a time in the path of personal transformation when you question every single one of your choices that you seemed to comfortably live with until now.

My simple message is don’t blow up your life and relations entirely in your minds. Stay steadfast in making choices that work for you. Take responsibility for those choices. Give others involved, space to catch up with your new choices. Do it with love for yourself and gratitude for anything that relation has given you until now. This is Yoga of Relationships. With yourself and others. It is a skill developed to continually attain a state of balance, in our day to day life and interactions.

“Don’t Blow Up your Life!” – Chase Bossart, Yoga Therapist

This is important for long time committed relations. Your new found realizations of right or wrong about the relation are yours to resolve. Unless you are choosing to walk out of the relation, your reasons to stay are part of your gratitude and not your limitation in life. If you are receiving something, anything from the relation, then be willing to contribute to the relation. The contribution would be, you going for the change you seek while allowing space for others to be themselves. Keep asking for the truth in your relationship while you keep going for your own truth. Give up the blame, shame, game and the fight.

Go for your own joy while giving others the space to be shaken a bit, or a lot. Hold them in the space of Love. When possible hold them a bit tighter in love. You can do this in your mind, if you don’t actually hug.

This becomes easy only when you are being courageous to choose your own joy and wellness. You don’t need to turn it into a you versus me battle. Carve out small ways of being yourself. Shop for yourself, open your hair, put on make up, cut back on make up, take powerful life decisions to bring change, do what it takes – small and big. Show up beaming with joy, or choose contentment, just for making a different choice.

Begin to imagine how you would like things to be. Then inch by inch, even millimeter by millimeter, start making different choices. If you are confident of making a mile of a change, go ahead do it!

Have kindness for all involved, including yourself. Do things differently than habitual, be bold, convey your truth. Give it time. Keep steady in choosing what makes you happy. Hatred in your heart will not make you happy. Forgive in the name of human limitation. It is a choice for your own peace. Break your own limitation on this. Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger. It is something that helps accepting what Is, wholly, and then changing it!

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie Roth.

The Half Moon

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Photo Credit : Rujuta Doshi “Half Moon in Amsterdam”

The Half Moon
Doesn’t hesitate
Shining its light
Until it becomes whole

The Half Moon
Doesn’t resist
Radiating its glow
Until it finds its soul

The Half Moon
Doesn’t have a need to be seen
It glistens regardless
Being its own Self, lustrous

… It is our gift if our window is open

 

Reflections of Moon – Another poem for the Moon and its gifts on Infinite Living.

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnect, an inspiring blog by Debbie Roth.

 

Emotional Orphan

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Loneliness by Atanu Chakraborty

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Born intact with every organ

A roof over head
Food & family all provided
Yet never felt loved or if mattered
Never touched & hugged & assured
When bodily sick, definitely for-cared
With food & medicine & worry vexed

Born from the womb of the one
Whose heart severely lascerated
Parents two souls on a journey calliberated
Unaware they carry the precious seed
Of the radiant one born of them

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Knows deeply the fountain of joy

Looks around at the gloom
Paints own fantasy of life abloom
Imagines miniscule castles, tales of adventures
On the floor tiles, as if living a grand dream

Life awash with gleeful eyes
The shine, the glow and laughter
Made kin & cousins wonder why such rejoice
As if something wrong that always the smiles
Misconstrued & confused tears flew miles

Conforming to belong and pleading
Tears flow as if heart open bleeding
Amazing grace & strength head held high
At times weeping cries that pierced the soul
Tribe mocking now looking wry
All this perfect life you have -and you still cry?

The vibrant outlook on life
Does it strip away the human need
To ever have someone just sob
To be comforted and held close to womb
To be assured, guided & emotions lightened?
The radiant one always chose strength
Now bleary gives up at length
Choice of strength refrained from all & any nurture
Own mind became a tormenting torture

Orphan
Emotional Orphan
Lost in relentless effort to create beauty
Through emotions & relations & dreams

Trying to earn the love in between screams
Taken for granted as blessed & blissed
Gratitude taken, it’s intention missed

Shelter & food & names called family
Burdens of keeping up heritage heavily
To get any love, earn it & yearn it seethingly
Deserve it & now demand it just for Being
Have given up heart & soul for the tribe
Not willing now to live life searing
As if pieced by the cutting knife

All misunderstood only for seeking love
Blamed for indifference & ingratitude
Guilt feeling for just breathing alive
As if unworthy of choosing or receiving any joy
Dripping dried tears of blood from the heart
Brick hard becomes the throbbing head
All this while trying to paint life beautiful red …

 

P.S. This post first appeared on This Glorious Mess on Medium

P.S 2 – This is a contribution to dear Debbie’s ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects Her blog is a beautiful space that facilitates forgiveness and peace for all distressed souls.