What we look like

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

All of us, what we look like
Have a story of our life
Sometimes really brave ones
And then those that we hide

When we want to change something
In what we look like
It’s actually something
That we want to change in our life …

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Redefine Love

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“Let True Love Break Through” Photo Credit: Niyati Shah, Editing: Vikram Phale

If it feels like a brick pressed on your heart
It is not love, it is a lie

If it feels like you are pressed for last drop of juice
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are being the jester entertainer
With no option ever of being a tad sadder
It is not love, it is a lie

If your inert silence is their boredom
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are making choices only for others’ happiness
With no regard for your own true joy
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are looked upon to fill every gap & hole
It is not love, it is a lie

If both your gratitude and contributions are taken for granted
It is not love, it is a lie

It is all a lie you told yourself
It is how you defined love to yourself
It is how you trained the other minds to feel loved
It is how they trained you to give or get love

Cast off gradually, all the wrong ways of love
Go through the storm of seemingly no love
Feel the pain of ripping off of so called love
Melt the brick at heart with Self love

Be kind to yourself and others involved
It is not always necessary relations be dissolved
Often takes every bit of resilience to have it resolved
Souls interacting unaware what is truly to be absolved

For each individual there be an unforced place
With in between a delicious space
Find joy for you that feels natural to you
Let the nectar of true Love drip in that space

Your choices allow a sense of liveliness
Intersect with one another radiating loveliness
Share your appreciation & apprehension
Not needing a wall for seperation

Find the feeling like never before defined
Immerse in love that feels unconditioned
Start over, only genuine regard expected
For every living soul, deep existence respected

 

P.S. This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of dear Debbie’s blog Forgiving Connects

Gifts of Life

 

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

Beware what you ask
For it surely comes

Make sure you Ask
For it surely comes

Sometimes gift-wrapped
In porcupine skin
Pricks & pierces as you get it unwrapped
Until your heart bleeds in pain as if tapped

Unwrap with gloves of gratitude
And blessings counted profuse
The asked gifts get revealed
Deep wounds get healed

Be aware of all you ask
For it surely comes

Be Alert
For it surely comes
In ways you haven’t considered

Finding My Balance

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Golden Sunrise at Sea by Atanu Chakraborty

I find a place…for my elbow to rest on. A platform that is a good space to give me relief. My elbow finds balance on a solid surface, my head rests in my palm sideways. My mind finds some moments of peace.

The platform turns out to be a floating piece. It starts to shift, putting my elbow and my rest, out of balance. I could rely on it but only for a while.

Pulses of life, stir through the surroundings of the iceberg where I was resting my elbow. The solidity of the iceberg now seems shaken.

Shock of the coldness hits my face as the elbow slides off. I am thrown out of my comfort space.

I have been seeking concepts and beliefs and relations and interactions to depend on, for balance. To rely on, when challenged. Only to find out that they are all floating icebergs.

Lean on anything a bit too much, and you plunge into the cold deep abyss of the sea of truthful revelations, eventually.

Some icebergs are memories that we escape to. Trying to find any semblance of joy or pleasure or balance or support that we felt at a different time. As all icebergs, this one too, serves only for a while.

I have sought it in persons and relationships sometimesOnly that I am an iceberg for others too, sought out to balance some need in them. Oftentimes, each ends up blaming the other iceberg, for not staying steady and still, for them to lean on.

I decide to walk on to dry grounds, with none of the unreliable icebergs around to entice me. There are trees to rest under and the lush grass on solid ground, looks fulfilling. I will now depend on the nurturing Mother Earth to hold me, to support me. I find rest in the shade under a vibrant tree.

It seems like I have found my solace and semblance of balance that I can finally rely on. Only until …the winds start howling and the skies turn dark and shower me with piercing drops of revelations, leaving me drenched in the cold again.

Sometimes it wasn’t even the furious weather that left me all lost on the face of the planet. My own thoughts could create a tornado within, that left me as if, there is no ground to stand on.

“Where do I really rest? Mother Earth! Where on earth can I just rest?” I cried in despair, kneeling down with my head hung low.

Mother Earth, as if smiled, while continuing her own journey through the void, around the sun, not knowing what, comets and storms and humans, might hurl at her, at any time.

Nothing seems to be at rest. Relentless movement. We go on while coloring our perception with the illusion of support and stability.

At times, memories of someone and the conversations, color our days or months. Giving a sense of balance to the emptiness in the place we call home. The home that stands on the compassion of the planet and it’s time bound stability.

There are times I am totally present with those physically with me. And I become aware of the hurricanes within them, uprooting my sense of balance.

I also often become dependent on other people for my soul nourishment and direction to my human mind. Every time I become completely dependent, that iceberg plops under.

In my sane mind I realize that they have gone away seeking their own nourishment, or might have faltered their own of self depletion. In my human mind I sometimes blame them for not being there for me anymore.

After many such hurricanes and toppling under of icebergs, I finally realize there is this vast ocean of space within me. The more I dive into the center of it, the more stability I find.

I begin to sit with myself more often, without leaning.

I feel more grounded as I allow a deep breath in, into the expansiveness of my being, and empty it out from the core of my being, as softly and smoothly as I can. The more I rely on my own ability, to glide on the current of the life force, flowing through me with the breath, the more rooted I get in the stability of my own being. The platform I lean on is not tangible yet so plausible.

A sense of trust and surrender and choices of possibility and tremendous courage, gives me an easy resolve of steadiness, and the experience of innate balance.

I wobble at times, escape into known comforts sometimes, fear the unknown darkness sometimes, and then find my balance again, as I recognize it all for what it is.

The darkness is pure nothing until I fill it with something. Its spirit is illuminated with each breath and awareness that comes. The silence is rich with the knowing and the perceiving and the feeling that guides me, unless it is purely divine silence.

A warmth develops within me, that balances out the coldness of any sharp revelations. It flows through me, which feels like love in some form or kind.

That’s how, I find my center and balance, time and again, until I fall off, time and again …

 

Originally published in This Glorious Mess on Medium

Ablaze with Truth

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‘ABLAZE’  – Photo by Manish Doshi

 

It is a visceral feeling.
The emotion of anger.
It feels like an old one. It is so physical as if ablaze.
That block, the lead block right on the core of my heart, it is heavily burrowing down. Into the deep abyss of my being.
Get it offf now!

I am angry. I am angry about smiling through it all …all these years.
I am angry that I had such positivity. ..all these years.
I am angry I had so much love and the need for love in me that I overlooked and even enjoyed this same thing.
I am angry that I wasn’t angry the first time this happened.

I am speaking the truth regarding this for the first time.
The truth that I had no idea of. The truth that was buried deep down to fulfill my other needs.
That’s it.
It has been my choice all along. To smile through it. To keep finding what is right in it. To hold it in my pot of love.

Today it is me who has changed.
It is me who has become aware of my hidden truth.

I am actually ablaze with this revelation.
With no skill whatsoever to contain it and express it, it has come as anger.

It is still visceral …yet it has changed.
The blaze has softened. I have finally seen it and honored it for what it is.
The iron block on my heart, still there.
It is so much of grief and guilt over my unskilled expression of my truth.
My assumption that it is wrong to feel this anger. That it is wrong to feel this bad, about something I accepted as normal, all my life.

Awakening to my own truth and suddenly choosing it and living it, is a very raw experience.
As if a rebirth into another person.
Definitely an unexpected guest, often an unpleasant one, in the lives of those accustomed to my smiling through it.
I decide to accept my anger for what it is.
I give myself permission to feel the human emotion of anger.

It came as a visceral wave of awakening and it has passed.
I am left with this heavy brick on my heart
I pour love for myself. Hold myself with compassion.

It is amazing to physically feel the brick soften.
And now melt and diffuse.
I feel space. I feel a soft strength.
There is a freshness in the way of my being.
There is a quiet quiet space of being.
Soothing and healing and forgiving.
I will stay immersed in this silence today.

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of dear blogger Debbie. My wish is of self healing and forgiving through the process of becoming aware of our own Truth.

This post was originally published at This Glorious Mess on Medium

Do you know Person 1 & Person 2?

To Person 1
Yes.
Be Yourself.
Though this nastiness
That you are giving others
Is Not You.
Find yourSelf
That You are happy with
Then
Be Yourself.
Take your time.
You will be thrilled
At the wondrous change in you.
You will enjoy Being You.

To Person 2
Yes.
I am Being Me.
Though this attitude of mine
Is not agreeable to you.
I am finding myself incapable
Of dumbing down
To make you feel good.
Take your time.
And reach out to me.
Then
You will find
My Love and Regard for you
Can stay the same always.
I am thrilled
At this wondrous change in me.
I am enjoying Being Me.

On Acceptance

Accept EVERYthing wholly.

Only in the present moment.

Never Ever Forever.

Then

CHANGE IT!

P.S. Happy Yoga Day! May this day inspire moments of awareness for you.