Is there a Perfect Spouse?

Is there a perfect spouse?

This question came up with my previous post that conveys a one-line sentiment To a Perfect Spouse.

No human is perfect. It is the perfection in relation to each other that matters. It is the freedom to be true to your being while having a tremendous commitment through all the messiness of human imperfectness. It is the dedication to evolving as a person with freedom, while nurturing the same freedom for the other. It is the care and love for the other, while standing steady on your own ground. And taking turns doing just that.

It is like having only one set of Teeth that you take turns to use, to chew on something called Life to you. LOL

It is bringing some fun and lightness while you do so for a life time. Sometimes even fun takes effort. It is honoring exactly what aspects of commitment are important to the other. And making it sacred, not sharing those aspects with anyone, in the name of free spirit or Infinite Living 🙂

A perfect relation does not limit either one from having other wholesome relations of any name and gender, because of the tremendous trust, commitment and vulnerability they share. They know it is unshaken for this lifetime. There is trials and treacherous tests of life on such relationships. The perfection is in the survival, sustenance and strength of character shown in such relationships.

No one is born a perfect spouse. It is what they give to the other, is what makes them perfect. Sometimes we tend to think of ourselves as the perfect one of the two. Sometimes we believe the perfect spouse doesn’t exist …only for us. Because the demand is only on the other person to be perfect.

Perfection comes from the love, care and also tenacity in the relationship. If you find it lacking some in your spouse …there are some points of evolution that exist for the both of you. That’s where your commitment gets used to step up and take the lead in nurturing the relationship into how you want it to be. It may not be a quick process but very much worth it. It also requires courage and conviction in yourself.

I am not taking into consideration here, any extreme cases of struggling, deceitful or abusive relationships. At the same time, I feel all sustained and truthful relationships undergo struggle. Because we are Infinite Beings, not bound beings. We have an innate rebel against any bondage. Heck we even rebel against our abilities/inabilities of our bodies! As if we are stuck in our bodies with all it’s pains.

Infinite freedom is available to us within the boundaries of our relationships for change and choice, within the relationship and outside of that relationship. There are no rules and bondages except created or accepted by us. The only important rule is your definition of your commitment. Keeping that, how many self- barriers are you willing to break? How willing are you to support your spouse do the same? Will you take the lead? Will you acknowledge the process if your spouse takes the lead?

 

P.S. If you feel inclined here are few of my other posts on relationships from different times. I appreciate all thought processes shared on my posts. All exchanges of perspectives are a growth for all.

Posts of one line or few

Couples

Love is when

Poetry

A true relation

Prose

Relationships …a choice or a privilege!

Relationship illusions and Truth of Soul

 

Do I have a personality?

Do I have a personality?
I grew up feeling none.
I kept wanting one.

I saw some as persons happy
But I felt lot of thoughts unhappy
I saw some as being persons assured
But I felt unsure of what really mattered
I saw some as being persons positive
But I felt I needed lot more perspective
I saw some wearing their wealth on them
And I felt the need to become abundant
I saw some wearing their success on them
But I felt I really wish I had a passion
I sought to be truthfully joyful
But I felt lot of things to be untruthful

I simply only wanted my own personality
Yet I tried every which way to fit in
Also learned some tricks to blend in
Wherever I Be I became that one
Except it became difficult to keep up

Do I have a personality?
Now supposedly a grown-up
I am not sure I have one

A new friend in conversation
In complete awe of my hard-core choices
Called me in myself an institution
And visiting me a few days later
Found me a sobbing mess of confusion
Befuddled she told me
“Never imagined You could become this”
I confided in her honestly
I needed the friend in her
As much as she used the one in me.
She probed further if I had ever cried
For those times such and such
I said yes I did
When at times I became human as much

This kind friend then exhorted me
That I should be wearing all that I am
And walk out in the world head held high
Gain some confidence and personality

Veracity in the moment doesn’t allow me
To wear anything external on me
I am that I am and I wonder what I am
I live in an attempt of absolute integrity
In all the roles that can be called of me
I show up with confidence or confusion
It is me in that moment feeling fluidly
The only corrugation is of my intention

So now do I have a personality?
You tell me which one you see in me
So do I need a personality?
Or I could just Be what I have come to Be.

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, I gladly contribute this poem to ForgivingFridays, as a gesture of forgiveness for everywhere we judge ourselves for what we are. Thank you for being here.

 

Imperfect Perfections

Ever walked into an elementary school science fair
To find some perfect ones and some that are made by kids?
Now which exactly is perfection there?

Ever had a long time dream come true?
A feeling of contentment it brings …
But also have a more nascent one stirring inside you?
A tinge of anxiousness it brings …
Now where exactly is perfection there?

Ever wanted to go soak in a hot tub, overlooking majestic mountains?
Wished it was blue, clear with the perfect weather…
But it rains, turns cold, just more beautiful too?
You go anyway and soak in the warm waters, with the rain drenching from above
You lose yourself and the senses in the warm and the cold together…
Now which exactly is perfection there?

Ever dream of a perfect family as you grow old
2 doting kids, maybe grandkids some…
Not too close, not too far …
Spend life to control and make that happen?
Or look at each relations as infinite souls
Finding their way to being whole…
You be in their highest support
Now which is perfection there?

Humanness is the richness of life
Infiniteness is the measure of joy
As we dabble in each
Humanness comes with no choice
It’s the other that is a conscious choice
Now which is perfection there?

Perfection is in the imperfections
Perfection is in the timing and the design
Perfection is the experience when we let go
Express as if a contribution to the divine flow
Perfection and imperfection
What is what anymore I don’t know!

Perspectives

Choice of perspectives
Is a gift of universal views
Though reality seems tentative
Be keen on your objective

As we choose to look at things differently
Struggle becomes our responsibility
As we refuse to think at things rigidly
Change becomes an indisputable possibility
When it seems like stuck for infinity
That’s when actually life is flowing rapidly
Let go and we get unstuck very easily

Choose what you want to change
Change what you choose to change
Insist to receive from what you perceive
Find it within you to realize your view

The perceived may be turbulent
When you be present and persistent
Look at and let go of being resistant
The received is sure to be opulent

Be relentless in pursuing life
A glorious one now that you are at it
And watch how life becomes relentless
In what it has to offer you
It is up to you how much you catch it