Who’s breath am I breathing?

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Photo: Manish Doshi ‘A Breath of Fresh Air’

Who’s breath am I breathing?
Who’s story am I weaving?
Who’s memory am I churning?
Who’s thoughts am I carrying?

With each breath I take

Who’s life am I living?
Who’s pain am I feeling?
Who’s right to breathe freely have I made my story?
Who is it that I am not left with my own pure breath for myself?

We talk about letting go. And for that process we invite all our stories and all of others’ woes to look at, to be able to let go. And then we look at them and we defend them and justify them and find ourselves lost in them. And the only thing we let go of is our deep, pure breath. Nothing else.

I have found that I imbibe, absorb, feel, sense every thought, feeling, energy around me. I pick up on it very sensitively. At times making my inner life a chaotic tangle of feelings. I have made a personal career out of my life to continually keep cleaning out my energetic closet that sometimes catches the cobwebs of negativity, lies, untruthfulness, facades, envy, jealousy in thought and action directed or not towards me. Most times I am not even aware of any of this actually going on. I just feel horrible inside and I know I am not breathing my pure breath but breathing a heavy air of all that is toxic to me. My breath catches it like a virus. I just feel it.

I have found myself very strong, resilient, having magical perspectives that lift me above any drama and trauma, in the face of the worst. I am unshaken in faith when it comes to threats to the well being of those closest to me and those who choose to work with me. I am undaunted in my intention of creation of a life of possibility and true joy for all of us. I will not give up on my version of a world where we absolutely trust the spoken word, show up as our real self and have compassion for each other.

Yet I end up using tremendous energy to keep my head above the waters of feelings and emotions of those around me physically, virtually and spiritually. I am an empath who feels the hurt behind your need to lie to me, your need to be untruthful to me, to act what you don’t mean with me. Yes I actually feel it and live it until I process it to rise above it.

I know I have done this when I am able to breathe purely, deeply, fluidly, smoothly, softly, leisurely, luxuriously – just pure breath of air that does not carry any charge, thought, feeling, emotion, story attached to it.  I am glad it is becoming increasingly easier, and the beauty of life is pouring in for me.

Do you know what a gift this kind of breath is? Have you given yourself a breath solely for yourself lately? Have you lived a moment purely as yourself lately?

I have dedicated my life to just that – taking as many deeply pure breaths and teaching you to do the same. It is a learning process to be able to let go of the stories. Even the real ones have to be let go, so they actually change.

Let’s breathe space into our stories instead of our stories clinging to our breath.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnect, an amazing blog by Debbie Roth.

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Feel Shine Melt Love

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Photo Credit: Virag Doshi

Feeling invisible
I seek longingly

To become visible
I burn seethingly

Find that the burning
Shines bright my yearning

You drop a glance at me
Then take it away so quickly

In that moment I know
And you know what we see

Now I want to keep burning
All that feels invisible in my feeling

Each time you look away
I will keep burning away

Until I shine so bright
You can’t evade my light

The heat of this resolve
Melts away my fury

As I come to know newly
There is no you or I

What’s burning away is my own lie
What you are is the divine eye

None but that part of me
That I am not willing to see

Rather than simply and magnificently Be
Keeps hiding behind the cloak of invisibility

And the fear of dying unseen
Or is it the fear of living and being seen

Oh dear me the heart keeps beating
Be kind with your breathing

All is good about the burning
All is beautiful about the feeling

Oh dear me there is no you no me
All there is, is to love me, so I love me

 

This post is a contribution to Debbie Roth’s ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. This poem comes back to me very loudly, to help me accept where I am today without judgment and fan my intentions for moving forward from where I am.

Originally published on Jan 23, 2017

True Smile

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“True Joys” Photo: Manish Doshi ‘Lone Kayak on Kauai”

The numbness that we wear, in order to always smile

Choosing not to feel the pain, with that practiced smile

It is liberating to experience all there is, and not smile

For the true joys of life do not necessitate that we smile

One that comes from the heart and eyes is a true smile

 

 

P.S. This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects, a blog by dear Debbie Roth, that is a wonderful work in support of acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self- love.

Colors of Change

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Leaf”

Change is inevitable
Seems like fate’s offering
Makes you chase elusive happiness

OR

Change is intentional
Seems like chosen wise suffering
Helps you perceive pure joy within any sadness

 

Yoga – My work & Life

That Curious Space

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Force that cuts Through”

There is a way of life you flow through
There comes a force that just cuts through
Breaks you apart from what you live through
Wipes you out with that, what you grow through

The surge comes with no warning through
Momentum of what Is, replaced with what gashes through
Seems like all is stopped and slowed through
There is all of that, what is then struggled through

Then there comes surrender to faith through
Nuggets of precious insights, joyful moments trickle through
There is a space of wonderment created through
Between where you got pushed from & where you are being led through

Rest in that curious space, don’t rush through …

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects of dear blogger/Kindness teacher Debbie.

NOwhere IS SOMEwhere!

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Somewhere Alone

If you find yourself lonely and NOwhere
Know that you are definitely SOMEwhere
Look back where you have been
Perhaps surrounded by company
You seem to have moved on unseen
Probably looking for some symphony

Scary as it may seem
Rise above all that agony
Fall deep in your own self
Sound of your breath and your heartbeat
First tangible ways of feeling and knowing yourself

As you rest there a while
New directions and new perceptions
New instincts and new inspirations
New experiences and new interactions
So much of the brilliance to unfold
Nothing though you can hold

Sight of a squirrel lifts you to lightness
Sight of the sun offers such brightness
The moon shines with so much love
Suddenly in the middle of NOwhere
As you become NOWhere
You find YOURSELF somewhere
On this miracle of a planet
Lonely becomes a lot of rich Alone
More alone ones come for sweet company
All of Life simply a perfect symphony!

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, I contribute this poem to ForgivingFridays , peace to all that we judge in ourselves!

What we look like

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

All of us, what we look like
Have a story of our life
Sometimes really brave ones
And then those that we hide

When we want to change something
In what we look like
It’s actually something
That we want to change in our life …