When peace eludes

When peace eludes
When purpose seems to lose
When perspective is at ruse
When promises don’t produce
When possibilities simply refuse

Then give up control
Then give up the crawl up the wall
Then give up the stickiness of it all
Then give up the judgment tall
Then give up the unkindness of it all

When the train is stopped on track
When the brain is blocked on black
When the mind doesn’t cut slack
When heart is feeling the break-n-crack

Then the flood of emotions moisten
Then the time is to wait and listen
Then the path as if waiting to glisten
Then the anguish will eventually lessen

When the peace eludes
When the turmoil is profuse
When all the trial is in recluse
When the denial is abstruse

Then the calling is from the Being
Then self compassion is the Seeking
Then the gift is simply in the Breathing
Then love is what helps only from Within
Then more beauty is what breaks Open

P.S. Dear Debbie, please accept this poem as my contribution to ForgivingFridays. I wish to bring forgiveness to all the judgment we bring to ourselves for not being good enough. Thank you for creating the beautiful space to bring peace and forgiveness to our beings.

Ever Been a Seed like this? Ever Seen a Flower like this?

A seed, gets buried in an avalanche of soil. The soil is rich, impregnated with all the life juice and organic energy for the seed to use. The seed though, suffocates and struggles  in the darkness and compactness of being buried.
It knows it will survive …not sure how.

It finds in itself the innate ability to absorb, the nutrients and moisture available around. Something starts to happen as the seed starts getting soaked.
It begins to change …not sure how.

Ever wonder how the change feels to the seed?

So much of breaking up, as it transforms. So much of a stir, before it finally learns to feel the softening. The tremendous endurance before it feels the surrender…

The seed sprouts a shoot. The shoot is so puzzled as it begins to break out of the surface of the ground. It quivers as the first air brushes on it. It faces the brightness of the very first light. It is held up …not sure how.

Ever know what this feels like?

The shoot grows stronger, taller. Head high, seeing all around very clearly.
It blooms. Into a delicate, pretty, beautiful flower. It is crimson and pink all over. It is just Being. Just Being what it had come to become. Not knowing about beautiful or happy or anything.

The flower suddenly gets jolted out of Being. It has a question. “Am I arrogant?
They are saying, I am beautiful and pretty … Am I arrogant?”
It feels the judgment ..not sure how.

Ever wonder about why the embarrassment about what you are blessed with Being?

The flower looks down, to the soil. “I know” it says, “I am up here only because of your nourishment, all that you gave me. I still have my roots in you …will always have my roots in you, as long as I live …roots of my gratitude”. It hears a message back from the soil, “We never said you owe us!”

Ever wonder how different we are as humans, when we serve, just because we were able to?

The flower ponders, “I am up here …all beautiful and pretty. I will be Beauty to the eye that sees me, Fragrance for the one who smells me …as long as I just Be.
Then one day my petals will fall away, one by one. I will no longer be the flower, pretty and beautiful, up here soaking in the sunshine. I will become part of  the soil, to nourish another flower to bloom. I will get a chance to give back then.”
It feels content …a bit sure how.

With a happy smile, the flower looks down at it’s stalk …its connection to the soil and nourishment. It gets puzzled to see thorns and leaves, that it did not see before.
It finds the answer it seeks …not sure how.

The leaves help it absorb the intensity of the sunshine.
The thorns …the thorns …there is sadness on seeing the thorns.
With the morning dew drops as tears, the flower says …”I am sorry I have thorns. I am done being broken down! Don’t touch me, Now I have thorns!!”

“The wounds of the seed as it transformed, to help me be born, I still carry in my soul.”

“I am told I also have a name …Rose is what I am called. I am not sure what all that is about …I am just here as temporarily as you are. I will stand tall and beautiful and pretty as long as you look at me …until I simply fall away …one petal at a time …to return and become the richness of the soil”

Ever wonder how the beauty feels to the flower?

Just how did the writer in me get born?

When drippings from a touched soul find their way in writing
A poet is born

When the beauty is undying and the joy so fulfilling
A poem is born

When feelings are heart wrenching and clarity is killing
A poem is born

When a surge comes as discomfort and words pour out
A writer is born

When the harmony felt is such that there is no choice but rhyme
A poem is born

When made-up words bring meaning and no-rhyme verse feels musical
A poetry is born

When living alive to feelings, words come to life
A writer is born

When clarity becomes more intense than the pain that afforded it
A writer is born

When no human around can suffice to contain the expression
A poetry is born

When a release is looking to flow out at an unearthly hour
A writer is born

When words choose the person as if a channel
A writer is born

When none can be planned to rhyme or reason
A poet is born

When human spirit gets broken to million-times-ten pieces, yet finds beauty
A poet is born

When Life decides to peel back layers of truth down to the core
A writer is born

When each level of façade is stripped down to bare soul
A writer is born

When all the suffering was a gift, lived through or let through
A writer is born

When there is no knowing if there is more from where it came from
A writer is reborn

When it comes from a place that is hard to own
A writer is born

When the essence of being is wrung out in best expression
A poetry is born

When it feels like a soft glove over the brutal thing
A poetry is born

When the loneliness in truthfulness is more than can enjoy yet
A writer is born

When inspirations come out of nowhere as if universal cues
A poet is born

Every story a writer writes may not be the writer’s story
But then the writer lives within herself
A thousand lives or the stories of lifetimes
Often that of all of humankind

So if you can just rest
In the drippings of the writers’s soul
Momentarily let go off the sufferings you insist on
A writer would feel content for being born.

Feeling small, a yearning call

Feeling small for any reason
So much suffering in which you imprison

Feeling small, also a comfort zone, to protect yourself from your own brightness
Until you learn to receive it
Until you learn to Be where you are, who you are, what you are, in the true sense

Feeling small, a protective cocoon, in which you can hide in that dark corner
Of not being too much or be anything that could matter

Feeling small, one of the options
Until you decide to smile your radiance

Feeling small takes care of the fear
Which is sometimes more the fear of the success
Than that of failure

Greater seems unfamiliar grounds to claim
Until more you step in your own brilliance
More it feels like you are arriving home

Nothing Greater will tinker with your feeling
Unless in you it has a dwelling

Feeling small is just another
Yearning call to something Greater

After the Storm

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Storm raging
(Nature choosing it’s rhythm,
seasonal rains or a tragic disaster)

I watch through curtains flying in
Rains and winds howling
There is destruction
There is chaotic flurry
Broken homes empty
Yet sky so pretty

Storm raging
(Human mind losing it’s rhythm,
everyday upset or a traumatic event)
I feel with mind closing in
Emotions and overthinking
There is breathstruction
There is confused fury
Broken dreams hearty
Yet hopes so many

The storm passes away
(After the storm of both kinds)
Everything is at standstill
Eerie quiet and also disarray
World as you know it, is no more
Some changes sting to the core
Rearranges what you see and believe
All that you think will help relieve

Drop into the blanks
Collect the right thoughts
To build a new dream
Collect the right planks
As if to build a new home

Step at a time, carved to lead you there
New ways to discover waiting where
Don’t rush, the road is wet and slippery
Take time to scan the landscape
Courage and surrender required so very
Tread with faith, there is no escape

Feel Shine Melt Love

Feeling invisible
I seek longingly

To become visible
I burn seethingly

Find that the burning
Shines bright my yearning

You drop a glance at me
Then take it away so quickly

In that moment I know
And you know what we see

Now I want to keep burning
All that feels invisible in my feeling

Each time you look away
I will keep burning away

Until I shine so bright
You can’t evade my light

The heat of this resolve
Melts away my fury

As I come to know newly
There is no you or I

What’s burning away is my own lie
What you are is the divine eye

None but that part of me
That I am not willing to see

Rather than simply and magnificently Be
Keeps hiding behind the cloak of invisibility

And the fear of dying unseen
Or is it the fear of living and being seen

Oh dear me the heart keeps beating
Be kind with your breathing

All is good about the burning
All is beautiful about the feeling

Oh dear me there is no you no me
All there is, is to love me, so I love me

Step into the New …You

It is too long that you stayed in that shell …to keep others comfortable.

There are some around you who have always loved you, with whom you are amazing and it is easy. You feel safe being yourself. Then why walk on eggshells in the rest of the world? Why numb and dumb down the goodness and brightness in you ? Sometimes to the point that you come across as the most ungracious or insensitive person?

Nobody realizes that you are trying to be just the opposite, or simply trying to fit in. You value them too much …more than yourself! They are getting used to that …your misery even. And you are getting comfortable with that. In your mind you are being nice to them …stop …just stop!

They are taking your appreciation and praise, for everything about them, as your weakness, or worse jealousy. When you soar higher than what they perceive you to be (and you are still nowhere in your perception) …what will you take their unappreciation of your journey as? How will you look at their lack of acknowledging of your existence?

Look at those who really ‘see’ you. You seem to do everything right towards them.

Break the shell, crack open …Do what it takes! It’s worth it! They will find others who feed their comfort. Yes, give them the shock …stop hurting so much!

They will have to step up, to be able to understand you and cheer you in your growth. They will have to know the pain you pay as your dues. The grace you are showing as you choose to crack open and take flight.

You in your truthfulness will mourn your perceived loss of some of them, because you truly cared about them. That’s why you kept them comfortable while you suffered being trapped in an unwholesome reality.

Yes, I know you also have done some things wrong to some. Those too will reach out to you or you to them, in your growth. Just that you are not accountable to all of them this very minute, so don’t judge yourself so hard.

Go ahead take that step, a small change, break open, fly. The ones ready for growth will grow with you, or even break some towards their own growth. Some will fall away, as you both cannot see eye to eye now.

Forgive yourself, forgive them, love yourself, love them, allow yourself to Be, allow them to Be. Trust me, trust me, trust me it’s worth it. When you feel stuck and choose to wiggle out, it hurts, it’s worth it.

The ones who care for you and the ones you care for, will have to accept you as you are today. Let them know you want ONE with them, you are one of them. But be stronger on your own path. Some of them Never let go!!

Break out of anything you are keeping yourself in …one step at a time!