Guilty

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Sunset picture by myself

Those who seem to be happy all the time
Don’t judge them or take them for granted.
Often they have taken deep dives into grief or depression.
They have somehow managed not to drown
and that’s why the smile.

Those who think & act from the heart
Don’t try to fix them, it is not a weakness.
Often they are being their own version of strength.
They are somehow trying not to hurt anyone
and that’s why the tears.

What if we actually live all that we have been feeling & made guilty of? Instead of forever trying to keep living & convincing otherwise?
Where else does this question seem relevant to you?

85 thoughts on “Guilty”

  2. I think those who fake happiness are truly hurt inside and that makes me sad for them. I dont know how anyone could sustain that.

    There are those who are happy go luck no matter what and I feel that is the way they are.

    And those from the heart, that feel from the heart, that do everything from heart are genuine from the heart.

    In fact both are genuine.

    But is the one from the heart, that lives from that , that gives and cares from the heart, that gets hurt the most. Because one day they realise all their heart felt giving and goodness was taken advantage of. But at the time they didn’t realise, they didn’t click.

    The heartfelt cannot be the happy go lucky as it is not their personality, or vice versa.

    As for living for convincing others. One can never be happy that way. If it is once in a long while then it doesn’t matter. But if it is every day, that is quite hard. We must just be us. We must be true to ourself . Otherwise that is no life.

    Such a deep profound post. I still cant figure out a decent response.

    Liked by 3 people

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    • Your respoense perfectly peeled so many layers to this and I can relate to all you say. I want to speak for the genuineness that is so easily misunderstood. Some relations are based only on common misery and happiness is made guilty. Also the hurt of those who care made guilty or weak. That is where the convincing comes in and sustaining that long term is so difficult as you rightly say. I appreciate you saying that the heartfelt are not happy go lucky personalities – I agree they just feel so deeply. You are right we just must be true to ourselves. Thank you very much for taking such thoughtful time.

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  3. In reading this post, I was reminded of compassion. You never know what anyone is going through or where they’re at in their journey. Feelings have so much depth to them and this piece is a great reminder of that! Love and light 🤍💫

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  4. First, the way you framed the sunset with your words is like a little blanket delicately placing the sunset to sleep 😴 it just struck me as gentle *and* well-defined. Beautiful composition.

    Second, I agree about not judging, in general, and more specifically the surface appearances of how people may appear to be happy a lot of the time. There’s a lot of genuine work, I think, behind growing comfortable with oneself and one’s life—however maybe not for everyone, but most people. I am reminded of that quote that has been going around for years that I agree with, “Be kind because everyone is fighting a battle that you may knowing about.” I think most people are really the same: vulnerable and impressionable. We can be so easily influenced. As for the convincing? I’m not sure, can we really convince others? I don’t think so. Lots to ponder here, Pragalbha! Where is the guilt? What does the guilt come from? I’m not sure I understand that part. Should one be made to feel guilty for any reason? Happy or grieving? I don’t think so. If only we could take that freedom to allow ourselves and let other people do what they do. Hugs your way…

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    • Thank you for the beautiful appreciation of the image _()_

      Yes you said it right about how much genuine work goes behind authentic happiness. Thank you for so aptly reminding me of the quote – kindness regardless of what it looks like is so important. The guilt part is from being made guilty for any happiness for those who would meet you only in misery and also the guilt for feeling hurt, as if not keeping the ability to be strong. It is mainly layered in the world operating with facades – and it is important to identify it when we are feeling stuck somewhere in this regard. As you rightly said in conclusion it is about freedom to be genuinely ourselves and let other people do what they do.

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      • Oh yes, I know what you mean now about those who would meet you only in misery, and I’m sorry to say that I understand this, and have felt that sadness from them. Guilt is unfortunate, too. Guilt is not a meeting point, it’s almost the essence of toxic connection. Wounded people look for others to feel guilty. As far as the facades go, I know personally ups and downs, one days up can be a facade to another day’s down. It’s all very enlightening to examine these things, but there can be a thin line of peace that runs through the days and weaves them together. May we, and all beings, be free. Much love your way, Pragalbha

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        • Wounded people look for others to feel guilty – so much wisdom and compassion in this. Truly appreciate your thought process – it is indeed enlightening to examine these things. Thank you my friend, peace-freedom-love for all _()_

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  6. There is no guilt when we trust in our own open heart. Guilt comes from conditioning and expectations that we were conditioned to.
    Trust. Love. Tend to those who need guidance. All will be well … when we are 💕

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  8. This is relatable. Those who are happy go lucky are sometimes taken advantage of or they are taken for granted in a way that people don’t care if they are hurt or they don’t come to know.
    On the contrary, those who fake their happiness most of the times (one just can’t fake 100 percent happiness) are sensitive. They are always on the edge of breaking down and they are holding up for the same reasons for which they are faking their happiness.

    Beautiful post!

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  10. Can so relate to this Pragalbha. I have tried both these and have been always judged. Relationships are very complex to understand. No matter what you do it is impossible to please all. Senstive people bear the brunt of it. In the bargain one starts to shrink within.

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    • Thank you so much Radhika for sharing your reflection on this. In my experience when we start to shrink within it brings a lot of grief eventually. The process of healing and being our true self is a lot of inner work and can bring genuine happiness. There is lot of freedom in the process yet we have to be kind and compassionate to ourselves and all involved. I wish to live my authentic being, that does not function on other’s judgment or approval and if possible make that imprint on as many.

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  11. Another beautiful piece! So profound!
    I find it very I nteresting to link guilt and happiness!

    Yes, there are some truly happy people in the world, but alas, for most of my life I didn’t feel part of that group, or more to the point, I didn’t feel I deserved to be happy.

    I had many negative people in my life making me feel guilty that I wasn’t a good Christian, I wasn’t a good… well many things.

    One day I decided that I wanted to stop feeling anxious. I wanted to stop feeling depressed. I wanted to stop feeling guilty that I never seemed to measure up.

    So I decided to work on my inner healing. To heal from the abuse in my childhood. To heal from the criticism and the negative thoughts I had internalized. Amazingly, I grew happier the more I healed!

    I learned that for those of us who have come from pasts where tragedy or abuse had damaged us, that we could actually DEVELOP happiness!

    This was huge and life changing for me! I learned that I could I deed change my future and my present life, that I wasn’t doomed to pretend to be happy, I wasn’t doomed to pit up the fake front and hide behind it!

    Hmmm, your post has triggered a flow of words! 😉 hopefully they can serve to encourage someone who needs it!

    Peace!
    Tamara

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    • I hear you so fully, thatnk you very much for sharing your flow of words dear Tamara. Many are just not aware of this layer of guilt that lives inside them, that makes it hard for them to find happiness. I like your word choices – never seemed to measure up, doomed to pretend to be happy – they make so much sense to me. Guilt is a major negative judgment that we often internalize and there is so much inner healing behind any genuine happiness seen. The strength that comes is of a vulnerable kind, which too is often misunderstood. I wish our tribe so much power, love and kindness to be our true self.

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      • 🌸🌸 yes, I wish our tribe above all the ability to become one’s true self. A difficult journey but well worth the results!

        We internalize the negative messages which were told to us by words and actions, and so we feel paralyzed by pain and the guilt we’ve assumed as our own, but in fact really doesn’t belong to us!

        There’s truth to the vulnerability. I’ve still lived far more years of my life as a damaged soul than as a whole one, so when I get triggered I still need to speak gentle words of affirmation to myself. I’m getting better with practice though!

        I find when I write posts for my blog that I write as much for myself as I do for others! It helps keep my mind and heart focused so I can continue to take more steps on the positive and healthy path!

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  12. Beautiful insights. I sometimes feel that humanity has wandered far away from personal authenticity…. Even compassion and love can be faked and used in negative ways by individuals and groups. Maybe the important thing is to hold on to our deepest essence which never changes….and to forgive everyone everything…including ourselves. Not always easy.

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    • I read your comment more than once. You said it perfectly and beautifully, I loved – humanity has wandered far away from authenticity.
      The fake love is exhausting, more so in how unaware people are of it at times.

      forgive everyone everything…including ourselves – Absoultely beautiful key of acceptance and compassion.

      Thank you very much for your valuable and thoughtful comment, it means a lot to me.

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  13. guilt really is a total waste of energy, I try not to engage with it at any level! If I lived what I have been accused of I’d be well and truly dead now, I try not to engage with others, or societal expectations.

    I try to be true to my morals and myself and many judge that harshly but I can’t speculate about their motivation for that. Stunning shot 🙂

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    • I am happy you like the sunset picture 🙂

      So true it is indeed a drain on energy. We, I, People are often unaware that guilt is weighing them down. It is a life lesson learned. When the guilt is for being happy or not caring enough for them then I would actually would want to live that – it would mean boundaries to how I care and actually living with what makes me happy 🙂 I now live with all of I am guilt-free, with all the kindness and love in my heart for all involved. It is ongoing practice of compassion fro self and others. I agree with you about not engaging with expectations, I am learning a lot about that.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, helps and supports the process.

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  19. A wonderful piece Pragalbha. Who are we to judge others. I try not to do so. We all have our own struggles.

    The first part reminds me of a personal experience. After looking at all the photos (of nature) I share on social media a friend of mine commented, “you are the luckiest one in our group without any problem in your life”. I couldn’t stop laughing but of course on her immature behaviour.

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    • So true Rupali, even positive judgments can be wrong.

      Wow yes that cracked a laugh in me too! :))) Thank you for sharing your personal experience. It is a perfect example – how the depth behind the ability to see beauty is missed.

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  22. This is such a thought provoking post Pragalbha. We all have our bad days and good days. Some of us try to cover our bad days with a smile. The sad thing is that there are some people who will find you lucky even if your entire world is crashing. Like in my case even now, there is a friend who still says, ‘You are so lucky. You are so strong.’ I have nothing to say to such people except to keep my distance.

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    • *shaking my head – tell me about it sister. I have gotten a taste of that. I have learned to take it as an affirmation – yes I am very blessed actually. There is no convincing to some people who want to believe we got it all easy. It hasn’t been always easy to keep this right attitude though. Tahnk you so much Smitha for sharing your thoughts here.

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  23. It’s so easy for people to see one instance and pass a judgement and we are all in some way or other guilty of this, with unknown people and known people, all the time. I feel awareness is a beautiful tool to hold, to tackle the issue. Also when we become aware we involve our heart rather than the mind. They go hand in hand and help us dismantle our habits….. My understanding goes thus…hope I made sense 🙂

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    • I appreciate you pointing out that all of us have done this. I am very sure I have and often unaware more times. The growth from mind to heart is a rich one, you said it all perfectly. Thank you so much Deepika for taking the time, truly appreciate it.

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  25. What a wonderful message about compassion you’ve shared with us, Pragalbha. It’s natural to judge ourselves and others, but to let ourselves and others live authentically, we need to look beyond our own ideas of how we “should” be. It’s just as important to be compassionate with ourselves as with others. How much self-induced guilt we carry unnecessarily!

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  26. Prag, I choose to be happy. That does not mean however just like you stated, that I haven’t experienced pain. Oh on the contrary I have. That pain makes me substantially even better. I feel free and darn I’ve walked away a long time ago to try to impress anyone. Today for example, three Amish men were on my neighbor’s barn roof re-roofing. I visited my Karma horse friend and because this horse just makes me laugh, I trilled loudly with sheer and perfect joy. My arms around her neck I buried my face in her neck. I could feel the light coming off of us in waves. These three men stopped what they were doing and ALL had huge grins on their faces because they could feel my happiness. I looked up at them punch drunk on happy and they in turn looked down at me the same way. Love this when this happens. To share a smile, to share a laugh, to share the light of love, what a Gift!! I was just being myself as I loved on my Karma. My best friend as I told these men. What JOY!!! Grinning and laughing out loud as I type these words!! LOL

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    • punch drunk on happy – what an amazing kind of happy! I can totally love this too :))) What a gift truly. A rare kind of happiness, I can only imagine babies and little kids experience, and adults who have lived so deeply to bring them to that core of innocence. You are a gem dear Amy thank you for sharing your happiness story and bringing lightness and brightness to me in this moment. I can feel the waves radiating out of your joy and laughter.

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  28. This is excellent… So apt and perfect write up… In fact, most of the people are judgemental and they pass their judgement without knowing the facts… Also, fake show off have taken over the genuineness in today’s world…
    very well penned… Liked it a lot… 🙂

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