She

Photo by Myself

A girl, a woman born with the essence of feminine grace and beauty. With innate qualities and potential for expression of what she can be, with the gifts she is born with.

When she dances to the rhythm of music she becomes her pure essence. When every fiber of her Being becomes a part of the symphony, she embodies the purity of the soul.

A girl, a woman, often since born on earth, has been caged in this mold, a way of living carved out for her, defined for her. Her role-play in this lifetime dictated to her as if in exchange for basic human needs of food, shelter, and clothing. The basic needs are met and she is trained to follow the rules of female existence.

This is from an age when her gender innocence is at its peak, she is barely a girl from a toddler. She is enrolled in a dance class to cultivate discipline. Not to allow her essence, her most beautiful expression of Being to bloom with her own unique fragrance, but just to learn a dance form. No public performance is allowed. Good girls don’t move their bodies this way in public, she is told, as she continues to mature.

The girl becomes a woman with a process of going through a shredder as if, separating her person into strips of ways of Being offered to different relations as designed and defined. She is a daughter of a family, daughter-in-law of another, keeping their smiles of approval beaming as long as she behaves in respectable ways.

One strip, the essence of that woman keeps fluttering in her face through life. It is her sense of being herself, a piece of that person wanting to be congruent within and not stripped off in so many ways. That strip has all the love and devotion towards her relations, yet wants the freedom to dance to her own rhythm, through life experiences of her own.

When this woman sets herself dancing to the music on stage, immerses herself in the realm of her own essence, her soul is set free to be herself. No name, no relations, no conditions, her gender evident only in the beauty, the grace, the art, the freedom that transcends all different ways of her being. This woman then captivates the audience as if in collective meditation, mesmerized and immersed in the rhythm of the soul.

Let us celebrate the awakening of this collective woman power in the uplifting of our human essence. Happy Women’s Day to all of you, those who identify with the gender, and others who support their journey!

Note: To me, She is based on my observation of so many sister-friends around, and the various ways of impact all of us have, from growing up in our particular culture. Do you recognize Her in someone you know from any of my descriptions?

P.S. This article was lying in my pile of unpublished drafts since 2017. It appeared in my mind today, as I was thinking about what do I want to share for this week’s blog post. I was delighted that this piece showed the willingness to go out into the world on International Women’s Day this year ๐Ÿ™‚

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87 thoughts on “She

  1. Beautiful message Praghalbha. The journey of a girl into womanhood is often being defined and dictated by most people around her. As mentioned by you, the day we women dance to our own rhythm is the day of awakening. Happy Womenโ€™s Day.

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  2. What a gorgeous post, Pragalbha. Itโ€™s so true that when societal conditions and the programming that comes along with them are placed upon people, women in this case, aliveness becomes dimmer, Beingness is constricted, authenticity cuffed, yet when this light within is fostered and is set free, magic is at hand as is transformation. I love this, โ€œ No name, no relations, no conditions, her gender evident only in the beauty, the grace, the art, the freedom that transcends all different ways of her being. This woman then captivates the audience as if in collective meditation, mesmerized and immersed in the rhythm of the soul.โ€ Mesmerized by the Aliveness that is enveloping their souls as they witness the transformative power of Love in its fullest expression. A very Happy International Womenโ€™s Day! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿค

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    • Dimmed, constricted, cuffed are such exact words for how the experience of conditioning is – transformation is the only way out, and how magical stunning it is. I am absolutely thrilled and grateful to read those lines you repeated back from you, making them refreshed alive for me, a powerful reminder of possibilities much needed continually. “Love in its fullest expression” – is what it is, and this sentiment has added value coming from you, for the depth of knowing they come from. Thank you very much truly Jeff for your very heartfelt, encouraging, and affirming response, always means a lot to me.

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      • โ€œtransformation is the only way out, and how magical stunning it is.โ€ This is so true, and resonates deeply as I sit and contemplate once again your lovely write, and the power that comes from the Love within. The possibility of transforming every particle of beingness comes from this Love. Ah, how refreshing for my evening. I appreciate the acknowledgments, especially as they come from a kindred soul with a knowing and understanding that is a mirror in depth. Honored always to share this space with you, Pragalbha. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿค

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        • Yesterday my teacher with whom I study philosophy/spirituality regularly said – Some experience that place closest to God as pure joy, for some it is felt as Love. It is a peaceful place to be. I smiled at being validated for how I experience that place – and you too are similar. You take away everything and the space left is Love. All possibility of transformation comes from this space – as you point out. Just feels precious to engage in this topic of conversation Jeff ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. Wow sitting in your draft since 2017. As always a beautiful piece. Pure essence captured my attention. It is so true and a powerful acknowledgement of us. Striped says so much of the story of so many. Dancing but not dancing our dance. Lovely observations.

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  4. beautiful reflections of witnessing the transformation of girls to woman and finding their internal compass, passion and power Pragalbha, Happy IWD my beautiful friend. I’m happy you published this piece today with us./ ๐Ÿ’–

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  5. The truth of these reflections glares at me Prag…I’ve seen many such women and there are still many struggling to break free. Caged for ages but many have shattered those shackles… and the journey continues with every new birth of a girl. May each day be happy for them.

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    • It is a glaring truth indeed – sometimes sad, sometimes stunning – for there is struggle and then there is the shattering, yes. The journey continues – It felt good to repeat your words. It feels very comforting to have your knowing attention on my expressions. Thank you very much Balroop for shining your light in my space.

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  6. โ€œGood girls donโ€™t move their bodies this way in publicโ€ this part struck me because weโ€™re often told good girls do this, good girls donโ€™t do that, as a way to mold us into the images of perfect feminine grace they idealize!

    Itโ€™s so constricting isnโ€™t it, and so freezing to remove those manipulative confines and just allow ourselves to BE!

    What a beautiful ode for women to give themselves permission to just be themselves!

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    • It is funny not funny how much I lived with the Good Girl Syndrome – giving up so much of myself to just be seen as good. Freezing is a great word you use – literally there are blocks of us frozen that take forever to thaw, if at all. Permission is what we keep waiting for, and what is necessary is that we give it to ourselves. Your words in response feel so validating and comforting to me, for being understood so well. Thank you very much for adding your thoughts that have so much clarity.

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      • My pleasure ! I think many, if not most women have experienced that push/pull of the good girl syndrome. Some rebel against it completely and revel in being the โ€œbad girlโ€, some are still trapped into the story, willingly passing it down, because thatโ€™s what a good girl does, while a few lucky ones drop those pretenses like stepping out of a pair of shoes which are too small. I know all three types of women and it seems like the good girls are the unhappiest, even resentful of anyone else who does find their own happiness !

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        • “drop those pretenses like stepping out of a pair of shoes which are too small. ” – I absolutely loved this description, the shoe does become small :)))
          I am very much appreciating your clear descriptions of the 3 types, and so perfect that I see them around me too. Thank you so much Tamara, I feel truly honored and grateful for your thoughtful contributions – they add so much value to my thought process and to the reader’s too.

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  7. Happy belated Women’s Day to you, too, Pragalbha! You’ve perfectly described the journey of most women. We always have so much shedding and unlearning to do; it’s exhausting, but I hope that we will one day collectively see that it’s necessary and worth it.

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  8. Pragalbha, your piece moved me. The reality that many women want, but do not have the freedom to dance to their own rhythm, makes me very sad. Whether it be a metaphorical or literal dance, the loss of one’s self-expression is heartbreaking. ๐Ÿ’”

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      • Such control. I know this is a reality for many girls/women around the world. It is sad and infuriating. My dad was the proudest person in the place during my dance recitals, even when I was in adult jazz performances. I know I am fortunate. It is an absolute outrage that girls should be made to feel shame about something that is so natural and beautiful. Of course, that shame crosses into all aspects of their living and being. Makes me want to dance for those who are silenced. What else can one do?

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        • There is so much healing in story like yours, to me surely, I love witnessing the wholeness of all that is meant to be, whenever I get to see. It is a gift to have you and other sisters dance in their essence and feel the joy of it.
          Yes there is shame, and often unacknowledged. Dance for those who are silenced – yes please, please continue to dance your dance, it ripples across to all of us. Thank you very much Michele for your very thoughtful contribution to this conversation.

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  9. A very beautiful and thougful piece Pragalbha. The journey of a girl to womanhood is indeed prompted by the people around her…and that’s why its necessary to sorround ourselves with people who will influence us for the better.

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  10. Bravo…a tribute to the mother of many great men… to the nurturer, the birth of passion, yet how can they not feel free, how can they not know their value… Infinite you are what you wrote…Bravo… you are significant! great expressiveness… Stay the course!

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    • Your words are such powerful support! Truly honored to have your most generous appreciation of my expression – you make the world a better place by acknowledging Her value and significance. Thank you for your encouragement, means a lot to me.

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    • Thank you very much for taking the time to read and appreciate thoughtfully and kindly Vishal. I felt very grateful too that this piece showed up in my awareness to be shared. I have so many unpublished drafts – they choose their own timing ๐Ÿ™‚

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  11. I am just loving this write on the “She” and “Her”! The language is relatable and poignant; the emotion touching and compelling. Throughout it all, I feel the need for deeper observation and appreciation. Lovely!

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  12. so beautifully written with the perfect analogy, and love your photo!

    Society, and especially immediate family, have very fixed ideas of how we should behave … it takes a strong woman to dance to her own tune!

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  13. Beautifully expressed, Prag! The journey of being a female in this world is challenging by far, being taught from a wee one how to “be” according to Mom. Blessed are the parents who allow children to grow into their full potential and not what the parents desire that child to be. Really enjoyed this and I thank you for sharing it. Sending you so much Love and Peace!! xoxox

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    • Thank you very much Amy, what a joy to have your visit ๐Ÿ’› Truly blessed and a blessing I agree when parents act in support of the child’s essence and potential. Witnessing them with appreciation brings much healing to others I feel. I fully receive your loving words and wishes of Love and Peace. Much Gratitude and Love to you.

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  14. Pragalbha, your write with a pen filled with fluid stars…your lines are divine when they flow from your heart…how beautiful is that…that She (this piece) is out now from your pile of unpublished drafts…I feel, it was meant to be this way all along…powerful words you have shared…truth is what you’re reflecting…when I used to live in India, sadly, this was what I observed…reet, riwaaz, pratha, sanskar at a shallow & superficial level…for ones own benefit…one-sided…you used the right words – mold & cage…I’m sure women from other parts of the world have faced / experienced something similar with different design of mold & cage…hence the international celebration…I hope & pray that things will & are changing…I’ve been living in Denmark since year 2000…the culture isn’t gender based…but I’m sure there are still some differences between men & women…personally, I don’t believe in gender based society, geography based connections, occasions like birthday, Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Women’s day, Friendship day & festivals like Diwali, Christmas, Eid etc etc…no, I don’t disrespect any of these occasions / days / festivals…to me, every single day is filled with all of them…even birth & death…having said that, I do understand the importance of the days…they bring the energy together to form a bigger energy…just like International Women’s Day brings the energy together of all women across this world as a huge ball of strength, love & fire…this oneness…my questions might sound stupid or/and innocent…why don’t we have women’s day & other days every single day?…humans, societies, cultures, countries, mankind first created the misery…& then gave a day to celebrate just one “free(dom)” day…the highest source / God / the purest energy didn’t do this…soul is genderless…do I make any sense?…thank you for letting me share…even though, I didn’t ask for your permission in the first go…what can I say, words were simply flowing freely after I read your wonderful post…please do know that I love your writings…coz your energy is embedded in your words…you’re able to see you…to be you…in true & open space ๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿ™โœจ๐Ÿ’Ÿ
    Disclaimer: This is solely my sharing, my view, my opinion ๐Ÿ˜Š

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    • Kind friend Navin, your deeply thoughtful reflections and generous appreciation makes my heart glow with joy and contentedly peaceful. For you say everything exactly that I say, would say, haven’t said openly enough.
      “shallow & superficial level, for one’s own benefit, one sided” – is exactly what my problem is, when it is not in alignment to the discovery of one’s life purpose and only for the comfort zone of the ones who are in a position of exerting authority, who wouldn’t take responsibility with authenticity. When conviction, trust, confidence is not a part of the deal.

      I appreciate you pointing out – there is a reason this is an international celebration.

      There is a reason this remained unpublished by me – because I have been unable to participate in gender-based event/expressions, I can’t identify any relations/connections based on gender, only care for the spirit of anything. This is one of those rare writings that poured out of me that separates a gender from the soul of humanity. I prefer operating and serving any purpose from beyond these definitions they come charged with. I know I am privileged to be able to say this. There is value in all kinds of focus, but they also run the risk of going to the extreme and losing the point of it all.

      You have mirrored my perspectives and I feel empowered to allow their expression through me. For that I am grateful. I am truly honored that you took the time kindly. Thank you very much, it is absolute contribution to me ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’›โœจ

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      • The way you say, without saying everything directly in this WordPress space is because it’s already so clear through your post…so you didn’t even need to say that you hadn’t said it openly enough…beautifully said “because I have been unable to participate in gender-based event/expressions, I canโ€™t identify any relations/connections based on gender, only care for the spirit of anything.”…Just so you know that not only are you privileged but you also show courage by saying this all…which I deeply respect & love about your writings…it’s a blessing that you’re sharing your knowledge, spreading awareness & letting your readers “taste” your wisdom…you’re very visible in your own light…always keep expressing & shining, Pragalbha…and thank you very much for allowing me to share on your page…in your beautiful space, dear friend…it’s an honour ๐Ÿ™โœจ๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’ซ

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        • Your words make feel so empowered truly – I am filled with a quiet and deep confidence, this journey of Becoming is ongoing, and it is because of kind souls like you that I have reached Here and will continue to walk my walk, will keep the light on, will feel the courage through another barrier within. Being seen and understood so clearly is a privilege that your knowing attention to my words, grants me. I receive with deep Gratitude _()_

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  15. Unfortunately, there are so many women even in this century, who can fit the ‘She’ in this write-up and it’s all thanks to another ‘She’ – mother, mother-in-law, friend etc. Until ‘She’ learns to support herself and all others belonging to her gender, it will never change.

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