Don’t trust yourself too much!

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“Crowded Mind” Photo Credit: Manish Doshi – Indian Banyan at Hindu Monastery, Kauai

As precious little humans we are often perpetually running in our minds, with the relentless churning of thoughts. We go through the day, and our lives, one escape after another, and back to the inner running mill of thinking, and more thinking.

“What? Meditation? Do you know how excruciating it gets when I try to sit still with myself? I just want to sleep and not wake up …not to these thoughts …not when I seem to have a knowing that they are not working for me, my thoughts won’t just leave me alone, so I can Think of doing something with my life. There is this stuck tape on repeat … over and over, 10, 000 times! My thoughts are sometimes killing me.”

I confess that the one above was me, seems like a lifetime years ago, and it felt lousy to be that one. If you are that lucky one who doesn’t know what I am talking about, you truly have a gifted life.

I never really trusted myself. Trust was never a part of the foundational paradigm of my living. The gift of that is, it made me into a greedy seeker. Always yearning for a teacher and teachings to guide me. I also lived with a fear of going wrong in some way in life. So I always chose to have a personal check on myself, by having a teacher or mentor, one way or another.

I became aware when enough was enough to stay with my own thoughts alone. I used a lot of Thought Replacement Therapy. That is my fancy way of saying I listened to or read from authors/teachers tremendously.  Reading from masters like Wayne Dyer, Louis Hay and studying the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, personally with teachers gave me a good influence on my thought direction.

I was still aware of times when my own company was useless for me, while doing mundane chores. Talking to other humans had its own limitations. So I listened to audios to replace my thoughts, particularly the dim ones. ‎

2 major influences on me are Dr. Dain Heer of Access Consciousness and Abraham Hicks.

Dain Heer gave me the childlike lightness in my living. While reading his book ‘Being You Changing the World’ my heart danced with delight, like a kindergartner. The book exactly described how my child-mind worked, before I began, fearfully trying to fit in, in society. We make too many things way more serious in life than required. His audios are a profound and phenomenal work. It basically replaced my thoughts with what would have been my original thoughts. In a language, as refreshing as it can feel to the heart and soul. Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, founders of Access Consciousness, you helped change my life back to my true self!

When I stumbled upon the recordings of Abraham Hicks accidentally, I felt like she knew exactly how I feel and how I wonder and imagine in my innocent phases, about how this Universe functions. She spoke the Truths from the depths of my being and helped me see why I suffered. She described the exact ways that I had implemented intuitively to fulfill any of my desires and the exact ways I perceive life. What an affirmation! I may easily have 1000s of hours of Abraham in me …OK, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it.

My Yoga teachers/mentors, a longish list from India and US, the audio teachers and authors are an integral part of my Being. I am in deepest gratitude for each of these teachers that appeared for me at exact times that I was ready for them.

When you awaken to your own thoughts and their influence, you find access to the space beyond thought, from where true beauty & joy of living emerges!

Don’t trust yourself too much, if your own company is not being helpful to you. Seek out a book, audio, mentor, teacher for a good Thought Replacement Therapy. I found my trust in myself through them.

I am deeply grateful to those in turn who have used my writings and/or sessions with me to replace their thoughts, successfully creating change in life. I take immense joy in facilitating the journey of awakening, that I have chosen for myself too.

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

Thinking Aloud

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “Moments of sunrise, Kauai”

I realized I always used to think aloud
It was wrong I was told & felt at times

I realize now what was right about it
Over the years I have started taking responsibility for what I think!

Aligning thoughts to higher truths
The freedom it brings is amazing
For now what I think is what I say
What I say is what I think aloud

Not a care but know it very well
Thought and word of intention
Is how I contribute to Creation

That which I call my world and reality
Emerges from thought, word & beyond
As if built brick by brick
One wonder & one moment at a time

This habit of mine I think served well!

 

P.S. This post was originally published on Oct 12, 2015.

Here, Take them All

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Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “The Beautiful one rests under the tree”

Your acts of Envy
Make us both feel small
Here take my feathers
Take them All
Put them wherever on you
And dance your dance
I will see what becomes
Of what’s left of mine

 

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects from dear blogger Debbie.

I Certainly Will …

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Honor The Light Within You”

I may not boost your ego
I will honor your soul

I may not respect authority for sake
I will honor you as human whole

I may not see age or gender
I will honor your authentic core

I may not bow to your demand
I will surrender to your regard or love

I may not beg or be belittled
I will seek your wisdom galore

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, I gladly contribute this post to Forgiving Fridays. May we together honor the essence of our being, and of those around us.

Let it unravel …

I just recently started using images on my blog. This photo from a personal trip led me to revisit this poem from about a year ago. As if they belonged together 🙂 While it would be a repeat to some of my blogger friends, I gave in to the strong temptation of a reblog of this poem with it’s new-found image. Look forward to having your thoughts 🙂

Infinite Living

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Elusive illusion
Desolate delusion

Overthinked opinions
Painful ponderance

Evergrown emotion
Sullen stupefaction

Managing memories
Feeling felt-sense

Blocked blight-head
Heavy heartache

Perpetually present
Adamant attachment

Sneakingly seething
Desired detachment

Tired tenacity
Silent sanity

Lingered longing
Lifetime’s lugging

Dissatisfied destiny
Emerging epiphany

Liquefying lament
Braving boredom

Releasing resistance
Teasing tangles

Identified intention
Trickled tune-in

Soothing simplicity
Soul seeking

Benign being
Breathing n Being

Rising resourceful
Juicy joyful

Wakened wisdom
Amazing alignment

Mindful miracle
Iterant infinitum

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Silent Communication

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Photo : Pragalbha Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

We know there is so much to say to each other
Yet at times we don’t, a word utter

We came here with a soul contract
What makes us then at times retract

There are puzzling times trying to decide
Whether to say it or let it slide

There are other times of peace
When past spoken words bring ease

There is a feeling of contentment
After what feels like communication silent

There is relief in the assumption
The other knows exactly in intention

All that was left unsaid
So much that was often withheld

There is sometimes this entire conversation
In that which is silent communication

Parallel Disappointment

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Photograph by Pragalbha Doshi

You are disappointed
Because I don’t envy you
I am disappointed
Because you won’t connect with me

We simply See each other
To intersect, not bother
It is our insistence
To be on the parallel track
In this ocean of existence

 

 

P.S. This post first appeared on This Glorious Mess on Medium

A Young Dilemma

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Thinking Man – by Vikram Phale

 

The Dilemma of Spirituality at younger ages and stages …

What is it that is in store for me?
This is a unsettling mystery to me

Why is that every person that I meet
Is just a passing lesson to me?

Is it possible to have a ‘normal’ life
And yet pursue the enlightened one?

And what would this possibility mean
For those who depend on me?

I wish they don’t suffer
Because of my confusion
Of what life is to me

If left on my own
I would live the path of a Seeker

For now I tend to forage
The source of truth, in the most mundane manner

There is fear though of getting lost
Or losing the ones loved most

Oh is there a possibility to cross this bridge
With one rope in each hand?
And not this heart-wrenching tug of war
In the relentless strive to somewhere reach?

This poem was first published on The Glorious Mess on Medium.
Thank you TrE of A cornered gurl for your kind support on this publication.

Questions Answered

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Unfolding of Bliss

I was amused at these questions to me asked
I would love answering them
With all that comes to heart

You practice yoga, you still got sick?
You teach yoga, you still get mad?
You are a poet, why do you get often sad?

I practice yoga, not to be always blissed
I practice yoga to always be blessed
With the awareness of all that I feel
With my emotions often I reel
Sometimes feel them so deep and so swell
That is how I am capable of teaching so well

I don’t veil the humanness in me
To showcase the spiritualness in me
You can underestimate me
Or just try and converse with me

I am not always at bliss
I feel I know the way to bliss
I have tasted it, felt it
Stumbled on my way to it
Countless times!

I intend to keep going
You can count on me
To truthfully show you exactly how and where I fell
That’s how a true yoga teacher to me, I can tell

I am a poet, often express the woeful sad
I find all emotions in gratitude clad
Once all beautiful emotions become words
I feel the bliss of pure joy, nothing hurts

Life and yoga and poetry
People and emotions and sundry
All seamlessly blended and lived
And experienced and felt through
I am that person who can uplift you
While immersed in the trenches of my own life stew

There is a lot in life to look up to
You can come with me and I with you
I am a human permeable to all that is life
At times I feel I permeate all that is life!

 

On a lighter note …

Don’t be disappointed
If someone doesn’t understand you

Just don’t go looking for milk
In a hardware store!
(~unknown)

 

P.S. Dear WP friends, on this lighter note, I am taking a 2 week break …to go to all hardware stores… oh no, not really 🙂 …just to attend to some other life stuff. I will be back with my daily ritual of reading from each one of you, my favorite writers. I will attempt to backtrack to all that I missed 🙂 Infinite gratitude for your support for Infinite Living.