On Acceptance

Accept EVERYthing wholly.

Only in the present moment.

Never Ever Forever.

Then

CHANGE IT!

P.S. Happy Yoga Day! May this day inspire moments of awareness for you.

Art of Creation

An artist picks up a paintbrush
To create a view
Knows intently each color and every hue

An artist of life, similarly
Picks up from a palette of emotion
Lends a hand to Creation
Knows each one very intensely
Pain & Joy, Anger & Love, Fear & more
In all their potency
Has felt them all to the core

Picks up on the shades of feeling
As they keep emerging
Knows exactly what would appear on the canvas of life

Both are very skilled at knowing
When to put down the brush or use some more …

An attempt at success?

This conversation feels very significant to me as it is between my 11 year old son and I 🙂

Mom: My dear friend asked me a question “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” What would you say?
Son: I don’t know  …maybe I would become the greatest soccer player …
Mom: Oh but you already play soccer and you are good at it. Think of something that you haven’t tried but would love to …knowing you couldn’t fail.
Son: What did you answer your friend?
Mom: Well …if I actually choose to do something then chances are high I wouldn’t fail.
Son: You mean you haven’t like ever failed at anything?!!
Mom: Well, I don’t remember anything that I look at it as failure, either I succeeded or learned something about myself from it.
Son: But you must have failed at summmthing that you attempted to do?
Mom: Hmm …ok so the first time I was learning to drive a 2 wheeler, I broke my arm and cannot ride one even now. But look at it this way …I now drive a 4 wheeler and it doesn’t matter to me if I ever can drive a 2 wheeler.
Son: What about something that mattered to you? Like your school?
Mom: Right, tell me why is school any different? If it matters to you you will work at it to succeed …or you could attempt something radically different because you know you could not fail.
Son: Mom you are wayy too different than most people around!
Mom: Why?
Son: You are always too optimistic …normally people are not like that …(shaking his head, eyebrows high and a grin) …

I actually felt the most optimistic in my lifetime in that moment 🙂

Confidence …split between Worldly & Universal

Confidence is being sure of self or free of doubt. My exploration and revelation about it has been amusing to me. In any given moment the word confidence means nothing to me. I don’t relate to it or I don’t sense it in my body. Wait, let me finish 🙂

If I were to think of times when I felt very sure of myself, they come very easily to me. The times when I am writing like this, some poetry is flowing out of me or I am with a student, my sons or friend to answer a question that I am very sure I can answer. At least I can always answer ‘I don’t know’. I am not shy of that answer at all.

Those are the times I am confident of what I am saying and what I mean. Yet confidence is not a dominant part of my body language. All I know is when I am sure of myself, I am very relaxed in my way of being. The words, actions and answers are coming through me from some place of knowing that I am unable to own. It is more that I am willing to be owned by that knowing, I have surrendered to all the Universal knowing that wants to flow through me. This always keeps working for me, as long as, I stay in this space that gives true joy in my being. That joy becomes a delight when others understand me.

The world is made of people on different gradation on the confidence scale. There are people of robust physiques and best confident body language, unable to recall the last time they felt very sure of themselves. This way of being has worked for them in the world and they have practiced it enough to feel and seem very natural. There’s people who truly embody their most genuine and very assured way of being. They inspire me.

I have spent more of my time facing myself than I have spent facing the world. I have had to reach to the core of the Universal wisdom to be able to survive some of my life moments. And I have practiced those truths enough in my way of being, to feel natural about them. I have no shred of doubt in me when they flow through me.

I can get very timid where the world setting asks for a prominent presence of visibility in the physical body. That is my learning curve to cultivate the essence and strength of knowing to become evident as a felt-sense in my being. And it is some person’s learning curve to reach to their core knowing and cultivate it, for it to merge with their well-stitched cloak of confidence. 

Where does each one of us place ourselves on the scale of confidence?
To me personally, it has 2 ends to it …Worldly & Universal. I will be working to bring them together …so I don’t feel like a split person in one body anymore …

P.S. I am sure of what I mean here, not at all sure of what it translates to you 🙂 Please enlighten me on my learning curve, either way, in agreement or in contradiction.

Giving Up Something …

Giving up something you love and live by is never easy …something you never considered you would do without, something that was as granted as the oxygen …What you become when you have to give it up, is worth finding out …

You open up to the version of you unknown to you …as if you keep coming home to yourself …time and again …time and again …smirk or smile, tedious or treacherous, understood or misunderstood by others …coming home to yourself, always an adventure

A tug at your heart pulling both ways …game of attach and detach …rise above all you feel, diffuse all meanings given, relish as the baggage is ridden, digest the undigested & the deeply imbibed …keep what serves, its essence …extract the flavors of the gained and retained

Look to create anew, the resiliency to sustain once again, what you gave up for true …wonder what form and way it comes back …keep yourself going, knowing it’s attainable …for everything is possible for You, a piece of Universal Creation too

Look beyond the lack, a sense of Self that you gain, devoid of what defined you …unknowingly so …existence is precious You …looking to associate, and then painfully dissociate …the space and freedom is unexplainable …simply Being, making it look so easy, sometimes taken for nothing …making you roar insanely for visibility, then retreating to your home of Self …the comfort is growing there

Comfort doesn’t help you though …for the force of Universe wants you …moving and flowing, growing and thriving …reaching for what you gave up, you are not meant for deprivation …

Reach within yourself deep down, pull yourself out …stumble into the world, take your steps, retreat, go back learn to walk …and run and roar and be silent and present and everything in between …

Make mistakes, face the mess, feel and follow the tug inward and then the same outward …let it not break you …sometimes the only anchor and the most powerful one, is the breath you take …a direct experience to the sense of self …keep coming home, keep reaching out, polarity will give you the space from which you keep emerging in either direction, you will know better and smarter which way …play the game, play the game, play the game!

Gratitude for life itself!!!

 

Am I smart?

Trying to be WorldSmart feels like trying on, a garment that doesn’t fit well.
Sometimes loose while sometimes too tight …

Trying to be SoulSmart has to be done, a stitch at a time.
Sometimes the needle pricks …but it fits darn soo well! 🙂

 

Dear WordPress friends : Heartfelt gratitude for the warm comments waiting for me, as I return from my break. Above is what I think, the gist of my living-and-learning-from-it, in the last 2 months or more. Glad to be back in this space and look forward to catching up on what I missed on reading from my favorite writers here.

 

The Beautiful Yearning

The yearning and the longing
The needing and the feeling
The seeking and the seething
The knowing and the not-knowing
The choosing and the denying
The thirsting and the quenching
The emptying and the filling
The accepting and the resisting
The looking for the meaning
The painfully beautiful
The beautifully painful
Can’t hold it, can’t let go
Universe applauds and affirms
Worldly mind analyzes and scrutinizes
All of it is simply You
Looking for expansion
Into the infinites of Love
From the confines of Woe
That feels like a hole
Somewhere inside of you
Take a deep breath
Fill it with your presence
Use all your finesse
To receive completely and skilfully
You will not need nor lose
Any relation to the frivolous pursuit
Of making yourself whole with the other
Beautiful will not be painful
Relations will thrive only on being grateful
Giving joy and receiving joy
Feeling Love and breathing Love
Connecting one yearning soul to another
Fill your void first then pour around
Watch it take the exact flavor as seeked by the receiver
Be the giver, also surely be the receiver
Relations go by worldly names
They are nurtured by pure Love that tames
All the yearning and the longing
The needing and the feeling …