Brilliance that only seems wasted!

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Brilliant Sky – by Vikram Phale

There’s some of us who have been told by our well-meaning friends that our brilliance has been wasted and our skills unused …as measured by academic standards and career achievements. And what a boost it is for us to know, how brilliant we are, and how amazing we would do in some ‘prestigious’ field! IF ONLY WE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY … but NO! We are merely living by with what came our way trying to make peace with it, trying to find our way through our own brilliance…

Which field of study are you choosing for higher studies?
How many degrees & from which reputable institutes do you have?
What abbreviations tag behind your name?
How big have you made it in your job? …the list keeps going as the potential never ends really, does it?

We have been taking in everyone else’s idea of what it means to be visible in the world in terms of our brilliance.

We live with these definitions in our minds and live really hurtfully with ourselves as nothing we do is really good enough …as we haven’t made it big in the world with these definitions hanging over us. The reasons keep coming …right things just always slip away from me, the most perfect things never seem to come to me, I got married too early, it’s too late I haven’t found my perfect partner yet and my career headed nowhere, my parents didn’t support/care enough, if only this and if only that …down the rabbit hole of judgment, resentment and rejection …of self, others, events, situations, life itself. Leading to more of the same!!

But Wait!! Wake up!! We have been giving in to a very limited definition of brilliance! We have listened to people in very limited number of settings – our school, workplace, friends, acquaintances – all operating from their outlook on reality. When did we make all that our own?

We actually keep missing out on so many simple ways of doing and being our best …just because we aren’t there where we are told we could have been.

By now I have met too many people with multiple degrees, multiple pursuits of achievement, all bringing out their utmost level of skill and brilliance. All that is valid, commendable …and never enough! I now measure my brilliance on my own terms in my own reality. As undefined by someone else’s understanding of it. Over the years my brilliance is shown in how truly happy I am with myself. How simple choices on an everyday basis bring me joy and the fact that I feel I have a choice on an everyday basis to create my reality.

We waste our brilliance when we try to build up castles of that perfect life in air as defined by others. We waste our power when it shows up as anger towards who we think is responsible for our so called failures.

That anger is the energy of our potentials coming up to point us to who we really are …part of Creation capable of creating our own reality. Our brilliance is in how we make a complete turnaround from the version of a limited possibility and reality. How we open up to an infinite way of being …coming back to being our brilliant selves on an everyday basis. There is no question of being someplace else, some particular designation or position to know your brilliance.

Our primary job is to be Happy! Moment to moment, thought to thought …flow through it only to find joy.

This can become the most difficult thing to achieve in life. The potential of the intellect seems easier to hold on to then. The idea of choosing only out of joy and happiness puts us right in the path of so many emotions waiting to be resolved within us. No amount of blame game helps. You are compelled to sit back with yourself …really have to get used to this. It can get so very sticky that we need an insane resolve and trust, in our ability to create exactly the reality that would bring joy to our being. The result is always the most rewarding and thrilling, as you have now used your own skill to define your own brilliance …as you tread through relations to extract only the best and the true out of them, through situations to extract only what serves you and gives you joy.

Seriously, how many of those then, who question the status of our brilliance in life, are sleeping that well at night? Striving for harmony and peace in your being on a day to day basis – even while in some shaky times – that’s brilliance! Look closely well-wishers, it is not complacent acceptance. We are treading slowly and joyfully through what unfolds, yet also looking to claim the territory of brilliance that is more visible in your reality …you see we are grateful for you, for keeping our spark alive in that goal, in still wanting and dreaming to make our mark in any area of our choice …with ease and joy, is what we insist now!

On Acceptance

Accept EVERYthing wholly.

Only in the present moment.

Never Ever Forever.

Then

CHANGE IT!

P.S. Happy Yoga Day! May this day inspire moments of awareness for you.

Art of Creation

An artist picks up a paintbrush
To create a view
Knows intently each color and every hue

An artist of life, similarly
Picks up from a palette of emotion
Lends a hand to Creation
Knows each one very intensely
Pain & Joy, Anger & Love, Fear & more
In all their potency
Has felt them all to the core

Picks up on the shades of feeling
As they keep emerging
Knows exactly what would appear on the canvas of life

Both are very skilled at knowing
When to put down the brush or use some more …

An attempt at success?

This conversation feels very significant to me as it is between my 11 year old son and I 🙂

Mom: My dear friend asked me a question “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” What would you say?
Son: I don’t know  …maybe I would become the greatest soccer player …
Mom: Oh but you already play soccer and you are good at it. Think of something that you haven’t tried but would love to …knowing you couldn’t fail.
Son: What did you answer your friend?
Mom: Well …if I actually choose to do something then chances are high I wouldn’t fail.
Son: You mean you haven’t like ever failed at anything?!!
Mom: Well, I don’t remember anything that I look at it as failure, either I succeeded or learned something about myself from it.
Son: But you must have failed at summmthing that you attempted to do?
Mom: Hmm …ok so the first time I was learning to drive a 2 wheeler, I broke my arm and cannot ride one even now. But look at it this way …I now drive a 4 wheeler and it doesn’t matter to me if I ever can drive a 2 wheeler.
Son: What about something that mattered to you? Like your school?
Mom: Right, tell me why is school any different? If it matters to you you will work at it to succeed …or you could attempt something radically different because you know you could not fail.
Son: Mom you are wayy too different than most people around!
Mom: Why?
Son: You are always too optimistic …normally people are not like that …(shaking his head, eyebrows high and a grin) …

I actually felt the most optimistic in my lifetime in that moment 🙂

Confidence …split between Worldly & Universal

Confidence is being sure of self or free of doubt. My exploration and revelation about it has been amusing to me. In any given moment the word confidence means nothing to me. I don’t relate to it or I don’t sense it in my body. Wait, let me finish 🙂

If I were to think of times when I felt very sure of myself, they come very easily to me. The times when I am writing like this, some poetry is flowing out of me or I am with a student, my sons or friend to answer a question that I am very sure I can answer. At least I can always answer ‘I don’t know’. I am not shy of that answer at all.

Those are the times I am confident of what I am saying and what I mean. Yet confidence is not a dominant part of my body language. All I know is when I am sure of myself, I am very relaxed in my way of being. The words, actions and answers are coming through me from some place of knowing that I am unable to own. It is more that I am willing to be owned by that knowing, I have surrendered to all the Universal knowing that wants to flow through me. This always keeps working for me, as long as, I stay in this space that gives true joy in my being. That joy becomes a delight when others understand me.

The world is made of people on different gradation on the confidence scale. There are people of robust physiques and best confident body language, unable to recall the last time they felt very sure of themselves. This way of being has worked for them in the world and they have practiced it enough to feel and seem very natural. There’s people who truly embody their most genuine and very assured way of being. They inspire me.

I have spent more of my time facing myself than I have spent facing the world. I have had to reach to the core of the Universal wisdom to be able to survive some of my life moments. And I have practiced those truths enough in my way of being, to feel natural about them. I have no shred of doubt in me when they flow through me.

I can get very timid where the world setting asks for a prominent presence of visibility in the physical body. That is my learning curve to cultivate the essence and strength of knowing to become evident as a felt-sense in my being. And it is some person’s learning curve to reach to their core knowing and cultivate it, for it to merge with their well-stitched cloak of confidence. 

Where does each one of us place ourselves on the scale of confidence?
To me personally, it has 2 ends to it …Worldly & Universal. I will be working to bring them together …so I don’t feel like a split person in one body anymore …

P.S. I am sure of what I mean here, not at all sure of what it translates to you 🙂 Please enlighten me on my learning curve, either way, in agreement or in contradiction.

Giving Up Something …

Giving up something you love and live by is never easy …something you never considered you would do without, something that was as granted as the oxygen …What you become when you have to give it up, is worth finding out …

You open up to the version of you unknown to you …as if you keep coming home to yourself …time and again …time and again …smirk or smile, tedious or treacherous, understood or misunderstood by others …coming home to yourself, always an adventure

A tug at your heart pulling both ways …game of attach and detach …rise above all you feel, diffuse all meanings given, relish as the baggage is ridden, digest the undigested & the deeply imbibed …keep what serves, its essence …extract the flavors of the gained and retained

Look to create anew, the resiliency to sustain once again, what you gave up for true …wonder what form and way it comes back …keep yourself going, knowing it’s attainable …for everything is possible for You, a piece of Universal Creation too

Look beyond the lack, a sense of Self that you gain, devoid of what defined you …unknowingly so …existence is precious You …looking to associate, and then painfully dissociate …the space and freedom is unexplainable …simply Being, making it look so easy, sometimes taken for nothing …making you roar insanely for visibility, then retreating to your home of Self …the comfort is growing there

Comfort doesn’t help you though …for the force of Universe wants you …moving and flowing, growing and thriving …reaching for what you gave up, you are not meant for deprivation …

Reach within yourself deep down, pull yourself out …stumble into the world, take your steps, retreat, go back learn to walk …and run and roar and be silent and present and everything in between …

Make mistakes, face the mess, feel and follow the tug inward and then the same outward …let it not break you …sometimes the only anchor and the most powerful one, is the breath you take …a direct experience to the sense of self …keep coming home, keep reaching out, polarity will give you the space from which you keep emerging in either direction, you will know better and smarter which way …play the game, play the game, play the game!

Gratitude for life itself!!!

 

Am I smart?

Trying to be WorldSmart feels like trying on, a garment that doesn’t fit well.
Sometimes loose while sometimes too tight …

Trying to be SoulSmart has to be done, a stitch at a time.
Sometimes the needle pricks …but it fits darn soo well! 🙂

 

Dear WordPress friends : Heartfelt gratitude for the warm comments waiting for me, as I return from my break. Above is what I think, the gist of my living-and-learning-from-it, in the last 2 months or more. Glad to be back in this space and look forward to catching up on what I missed on reading from my favorite writers here.