A true Relation

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Photo: Arnav Doshi, our son captured this photo of us 🙂

“Waves on the Sands of Time”

The richness of togetherness
Often is in the casualness
And the assuredness
In the seperateness

There is not much of day-to-day missing
More of the genuine caring and sharing
Relation sometimes easily taken granted
But never in the least slanted
Utmost trust and respect
Not a you-versus-me prospect

The differences are the strength
Work em out or let them be
The samenesses are the faith
On which you operate as WE

There is no as such fairy tale
There’s some laughs and some wail
It’s just how you help fly and sail
Look at the other soar with pride
While keeping pride itself aside

Each is a person evolving sole
Infinite being exclusively
It takes the finest of soul
To watch you on your own be whole
Yet be a partner unconditionally

Do I need an occasion or apprehension
To celebrate this true relation?
The heart spoke to me auspicious today
With such feeling and emotion …

 

Recently my husband & I celebrated our 20th Anniversary, 20 years of creating waves on the sands of time 🙂 The above poem, originally published on Aug 30, 2016, was a raw feeling then and now feels truer than ever. It only felt natural to share it again now, and also it was read by fewer WP friends back then.

 

Related posts on True Relations –
To the Perfect Spouse – 20 words only

Is there a perfect spouse? – short prose

A good marriage is the best – short poem

Relationships – A choice or a privilege – prose

P S : This post is an humble contribution to ForgivingFridays on Forgiving Connect, a blog by Debbie Roth, a beautiful one that you will find.

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A Good marriage is the Best

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Picture: Self  ‘A perfect fit?’ Editing: Vikram Phale

A happy marriage does not simply exist
The choices of happiness in it does

A perfect marriage does not just exist
The courage and kindness in one does

A marriage with all agreement does not exist
The growing up in disagreements does

A forever romantic marriage does not exist
The willing creation of undefined love does

A successful marriage does not already exist
The commitment towards success in it does

 

Some of my in-depth views and articles on this topic below!

Is there a Perfect Spouse?

Don’t Blow up your Life!

Truthful Commitments

Relationships …a choice or a privilege!

Truthful Commitments

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “A wave washes over” at sunset on Kauai

Please read my previous post Don’t blow up your Life, as I continue my thoughts on long term relationships, while staying true to yourself, in this post.

There are long term relationships that have security of commitment and complete trust. Sometimes the problem that people face, in such relations, is of feeling saturated and locked in roles chosen for themselves.

The point of view of what you are required to do day after day, year after year becomes a sort of a confinement. You forget to ask if, whatever you choose to do, adds to the well being of you, or your relationship. When you do things because the other won’t do it or do it well enough, resentment builds up. The really small things in life become the biggest concern in such relationships.

There comes a rigidity of perspectives or a denial of an important communication that needs to happen. There is a knowing that one can depend on the other for life itself when needed, yet there is discontent on a daily basis.

The small things that become a pattern in a long time, call for conversations that feel difficult.  You make the conclusion that it is not something worth bringing up. After so long why doesn’t the other understand without explaining? – you ask. Eventually distress comes up just in presence of the other person. The original intention of love is so strong that you can’t imagine having THE conversation. This so called love cannot see the other in pain, angst or anger. So the pattern continues.

I think it is very arrogant of you, to keep living your partner’s distress and your’s, on your own. Robbing the other, an opportunity of living and facing their own humanness. Say your truth, yes the difficult one, and let the other feel the distress.

Hold the space for all unfoldings with love. Give space so you are not intersecting emotions. Allow the mess and the chaos. It is as short lived as the phases of happiness themselves. Remind each other anew the goodness that made you choose each other, in the first place.

When that wave has lived its life and washed over each of you, it will leave behind, your own joyful ways of being. Then when you meet each other in your own truth and joy, THAT is when you really meet each other again.

You experience the juice of the joy of being together. True commitment and love in relations comes in allowing space for each to find themselves and their truths.  Accepting the other, in all phases of that quest.

Marriages have happened for all kinds of reasons – physical, societal, familial, and because you had a knowing of certainty regarding your commitment. None are exempt from evolution, personal or relational. When we feel the greater Love in our being to share with each other, THAT is true union. And it always exists in intention and potential.

We are souls who found each other in commitment to do this work with ourselves, to have someone to come home to, from our deep explorations of ourselves.

And so we hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. We speak our truth, the ones that did not have an opportunity before, because what we had was enough, or we simply chose to escape the discomfort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead!

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgving Connect, a blog space I adore by dear Debbie Roth.

Don’t Blow Up your Life

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “New Day begins on Kauai”

In the recent days I have had probably one less than someteen conversations regarding relationships while being true to yourself.

There comes a time in the path of personal transformation when you question every single one of your choices that you seemed to comfortably live with until now.

My simple message is don’t blow up your life and relations entirely in your minds. Stay steadfast in making choices that work for you. Take responsibility for those choices. Give others involved, space to catch up with your new choices. Do it with love for yourself and gratitude for anything that relation has given you until now. This is Yoga of Relationships. With yourself and others. It is a skill developed to continually attain a state of balance, in our day to day life and interactions.

“Don’t Blow Up your Life!” – Chase Bossart, Yoga Therapist

This is important for long time committed relations. Your new found realizations of right or wrong about the relation are yours to resolve. Unless you are choosing to walk out of the relation, your reasons to stay are part of your gratitude and not your limitation in life. If you are receiving something, anything from the relation, then be willing to contribute to the relation. The contribution would be, you going for the change you seek while allowing space for others to be themselves. Keep asking for the truth in your relationship while you keep going for your own truth. Give up the blame, shame, game and the fight.

Go for your own joy while giving others the space to be shaken a bit, or a lot. Hold them in the space of Love. When possible hold them a bit tighter in love. You can do this in your mind, if you don’t actually hug.

This becomes easy only when you are being courageous to choose your own joy and wellness. You don’t need to turn it into a you versus me battle. Carve out small ways of being yourself. Shop for yourself, open your hair, put on make up, cut back on make up, take powerful life decisions to bring change, do what it takes – small and big. Show up beaming with joy, or choose contentment, just for making a different choice.

Begin to imagine how you would like things to be. Then inch by inch, even millimeter by millimeter, start making different choices. If you are confident of making a mile of a change, go ahead do it!

Have kindness for all involved, including yourself. Do things differently than habitual, be bold, convey your truth. Give it time. Keep steady in choosing what makes you happy. Hatred in your heart will not make you happy. Forgive in the name of human limitation. It is a choice for your own peace. Break your own limitation on this. Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger. It is something that helps accepting what Is, wholly, and then changing it!

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie Roth.

Of Journeys & Happiness

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Photo Credit : Pragalbha Doshi “Happy Birthday DH”

You love driving great distances
On roads with seemingly no ends
Taking me along, you in the driver’s seat
Record trips, some unthinkable adventures
That map across the states, thousands of miles
Sometimes no difference days or nights

Those travels just represent
The real journey together we transcend
You endeavor to create a splendidly simple life
You live though with challenging choices of your poetess wife 🙂
You are indeed a skilled driver to me
Giving me a ride on this rocky life road
All the way we traverse through eternity
On your special day, Happy Birthday dearly

 

P.S. Dedicated to my Dear Husband on his special day 🙂

A true Relation

The richness of togetherness
Often is in the casualness
And the assuredness
In the seperateness

There is not much of day-to-day missing
More of the genuine caring and sharing
Relation sometimes easily taken granted
But never in the least slanted
Utmost trust and respect
Not a you-versus-me prospect

The differences are the strength
Work em out or let them be
The samenesses are the faith
On which you operate as WE

There is no as such fairy tale
There’s some laughs and some wail
It’s just how you help fly and sail
Look at the other soar with pride
While keeping pride itself aside

Each is a person evolving sole
Infinite being exclusively
It takes the finest of soul
To watch you on your own be whole
Yet be a partner unconditionally

Do I need an occasion or apprehension
To celebrate this true relation?
The heart spoke to me auspicious today
With such feeling and emotion …