Arcane Truth

Fractal Mirror

I am thrilled to share this Poetry in Collaboration with Amber from DiosRaw. When Amber invited me to write poetry together I doubted myself. Yet with her gentle loving nudge, I decided to give it a try. It was a very beautiful experience to engage in, with the brilliant lines she would send me, and I would add a line to it. It was a truly immersive experience, and that too in the very topic of Truth! What a gift, thank you Amber for this unique experience and opportunity! Here it is, the lines in italic are mine, that follows each of Amber’s lines:

Absolute Truth arcane masked in plain sight
Seeking soul Suffering heart Existence blight

Befuddled by the many vandalized paths to know our birthright
Seemingly battered, finding & losing, losing & finding our own Light

Ridiculed unaware by many, revered by few diverging paths of haze
Assured yet doubting our way through the maze

Breaking into the comfort of the unknown eternity to set the soul ablaze
Oceanic waves of the heart to swim through that often rage

The house of mirrors of the cosmos, reflecting Truth in the stirring of the chemical universal pot
Particles settling, soothing clarity descends, buoying up the Light of Truth sought

The Truth may not be as you conceive, before you wake up in the lessons of nets caught
The truth is in all that you perceive, after you wake up to the knowing in your gut

Alerting to soul growth, Truth beckons from the depths of bodily and psychological pain
Returning to self core, Truth awakens to the expanse of the universe and wisdom innate

Truth is the Reality, all else is ignorance, deception, distraction, distortion, limitation and indoctrination and the elaborate mystery we imagine life.

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The most memorable thing anyone said to me

Myself in the Tall Woods – Photo by Manish Doshi

During one of the weekend trainings that I was taking about 5 years ago, another girl who was about my height or an inch taller, came up to me and said

“At your height, you really teach us how to stand really really tall!”

I had a good laugh with her and responded “This (height) is all I ever got, so I just stand that’s all”

She then shared with me how my passionate contributions to discussions had helped her gain confidence in her ability to speak up for herself, ask questions in front of the group.

I don’t remember being bothered, but I have been reminded all my life of being short. Nobody did the reminder as amazingly for me as this kind classmate did!

I thought this was the most memorable thing that anyone said to me. Then few months ago, I was in a phone conversation with a long time friend, sharing our latest life experiences with each other lovingly. She suddenly said “You know Pragalbha –

You live as if someone getting a PhD on the subject of life itself… not just studying but actually living it”

I was speechless, also because I only have an idea of the amount of meticulous research and dedication required of those who pursue the PhD degree. I do not have the experience of it. My educated friend went on to remind me “Oh you are no different, always remember that. You have a similar passion and dedication towards life itself, and to my eyes you live exactly like any other PhD aspirant.”

I remember being bothered by my lack of higher education and degrees behind my name during my younger years. It used to cut into my sense of self worth. A lot of life happened before I grew out of that and found my purpose in life. I feel content and blessed for how I was guided all along to reach where I am. I was absolutely humbled with what my kind friend had to say about my approach to life.

Now I have 2 most memorable things anyone said to me that make me smile when I remember them :)))

I would love to know – What are the most memorable compliments given to you? What do you think of those I shared?

The Cloud

Photo: Manish Doshi

My Knowing knows
I am living life the most
My feeling is often as if
I am forever lost

My Knowing knows
I am living my truth
My feeling is often as if
I am forever living a lie

My Knowing knows
I am living at my best
My feeling is often as if
The gap towards it is vast

My Knowing knows
There is nothing amiss
My feeling is often as if
There is something amiss

In my Knowing there is no doubt
In my feeling often hovers a Cloud
The Cloud becomes my mind escape
The Cloud gives me as if a comfort place

My Knowing pulls me out of the conundrum
My feeling tugs at me with fear and care
The Knowing is a spacious freedom
The feeling is what’s scattered in there

This poem is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects

Living Life Head On

Take on the Waves by Pragalbha Doshi

When the life waves
Of agony and despair
Rise high in the air

Take them head on
For once, instead of
Escaping ashore until gone

The most arduous choice
Often results in
The most amazing rejoice

Let the wave wash over
A gift of clarity
It will cleansingly shower

A trust that is your inner knowing
Keeps you grounded
While as if almost drowning

Find yourself after
Like-never-before standing
Surviving and refreshfully thriving

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, please accept this poem as my contribution to ForgivingFridays.

Art of Creation

An artist picks up a paintbrush
To create a view
Knows intently each color and every hue

An artist of life, similarly
Picks up from a palette of emotion
Lends a hand to Creation
Knows each one very intensely
Pain & Joy, Anger & Love, Fear & more
In all their potency
Has felt them all to the core

Picks up on the shades of feeling
As they keep emerging
Knows exactly what would appear on the canvas of life

Both are very skilled at knowing
When to put down the brush or use some more …

Confidence …split between Worldly & Universal

Confidence is being sure of self or free of doubt. My exploration and revelation about it has been amusing to me. In any given moment the word confidence means nothing to me. I don’t relate to it or I don’t sense it in my body. Wait, let me finish 🙂

If I were to think of times when I felt very sure of myself, they come very easily to me. The times when I am writing like this, some poetry is flowing out of me or I am with a student, my sons or friend to answer a question that I am very sure I can answer. At least I can always answer ‘I don’t know’. I am not shy of that answer at all.

Those are the times I am confident of what I am saying and what I mean. Yet confidence is not a dominant part of my body language. All I know is when I am sure of myself, I am very relaxed in my way of being. The words, actions and answers are coming through me from some place of knowing that I am unable to own. It is more that I am willing to be owned by that knowing, I have surrendered to all the Universal knowing that wants to flow through me. This always keeps working for me, as long as, I stay in this space that gives true joy in my being. That joy becomes a delight when others understand me.

The world is made of people on different gradation on the confidence scale. There are people of robust physiques and best confident body language, unable to recall the last time they felt very sure of themselves. This way of being has worked for them in the world and they have practiced it enough to feel and seem very natural. There’s people who truly embody their most genuine and very assured way of being. They inspire me.

I have spent more of my time facing myself than I have spent facing the world. I have had to reach to the core of the Universal wisdom to be able to survive some of my life moments. And I have practiced those truths enough in my way of being, to feel natural about them. I have no shred of doubt in me when they flow through me.

I can get very timid where the world setting asks for a prominent presence of visibility in the physical body. That is my learning curve to cultivate the essence and strength of knowing to become evident as a felt-sense in my being. And it is some person’s learning curve to reach to their core knowing and cultivate it, for it to merge with their well-stitched cloak of confidence. 

Where does each one of us place ourselves on the scale of confidence?
To me personally, it has 2 ends to it …Worldly & Universal. I will be working to bring them together …so I don’t feel like a split person in one body anymore …

P.S. I am sure of what I mean here, not at all sure of what it translates to you 🙂 Please enlighten me on my learning curve, either way, in agreement or in contradiction.

Relationship Illusions & Truth of Soul

If all relations are illusion and we are here to pursue the true nature of soul and no material thing can give us ultimate happiness, then how are people so happy when in love? It is actually binding and not setting you free, how is it that people seem to experience true happiness when in love?

I am so grateful to have been asked this question by a beautiful Being!

Following and discovering the true nature of soul is something we choose when we look towards attaining ultimate happiness. While we know by knowledge that no material thing can give us ultimate happiness, we are still entitled to certain comforts and joys to keep us stable on our path. Being born in the comforts of home and availability of food, we are simply not yet ready or spiritually evolved to renounce those and walk away into the mountains only armed by the knowledge of the ultimate truth.

Truth actually lies even beyond knowledge where you are in communion with your super conscious being, none of us can even begin to imagine or perceive what that exactly is, by any number of words of wisdom. It lies beyond all thought, memory or mental knowing. Once you experience the Truth or oneness with the soul there is no one actually experiencing this.

Relationships are another aspect of comfort like food and shelter. Being on the path towards truth does not deny us simple pleasures of life. They are illusions in light of the Truth because they are limited in their ability to ‘complete’ you. We are placed in families and relations by design/karma to give us the exact experiences we need to evolve towards our spirit. It’s up to us how much we use these experiences towards our journey.

The problem is when we start identifying with these relations and circumstances as the ultimate reality. The people that are in love may have found utmost happiness but there will be trouble in paradise when they start depending on each other for all happiness. If they start identifying with each other so much that they starve their own spiritual being. Yes people in love seem blissed out because they are experiencing happiness. For them to be successful staying happy in this lifetime, they will have to pursue their own personal growth.

It’s a constant work of art to be able to keep building your own strength and courage and simultaneously nourish the growth of a partner.

This happens in different ways. Some couples have parallel successful flourishing careers that represent their personal growth. Some couples are examples of giving up for one or the other, their growth involves that. The intention behind those choices are responsible for the future design of our life. Because, giving up, for one person can mean having to sacrifice because of the partner while for the other can mean surrender towards the well-being of the family. Yet another person may not look at it as giving up at all …simply look at it as change in direction in the journey of life and create something else that is beautiful on the way to looking for the ultimate Truth.

Until we have the maturity to handle exponential spiritual growth towards the Truth, we need some of what you call bindings to draw the boundaries for us within which we play with our experiences and use them towards more and more freedom on our path. Relationships give us this sense of security and having someone to depend on during trying times.

Mark Nepo explains very well in his Book of Awakening …he compares true relations to that of a pair of divers. They take turns going into deep sea waters. One of them sits on the edge of the boat on the turbulent surface of the ocean holding a cord connected to his partner who has gone down into the still calm depths of the ocean. He makes sure his partner is safe by pulling at the cord tugging him to come to the surface after the time limit for the amount of oxygen carried is over. They then switch positions enabling the other to dive deep and the other weathering the turbulence. Ideally couples would work that way for each other letting each one dive deeper in their own being and taking turns taking care of the turbulence of life.

Even if some relations seem far from this ideal, they serve no less purpose in helping the evolution of a person. After all everyone is at their own level of evolution and crossed paths with a purpose. It’s your choice whether you give yourself freedom to grow while in these boundaries or you get stuck in the illusion of any of these relations coming to your rescue in any way. Even believing that any of these relations have the power to limit you anyway is an illusion.

You are an infinite being, yet choosing to draw some of these boundaries for your own sense of security at a deeper level.

Some of this is pure habitual patterns of the way we choose without much awareness. So go ahead flow with life and choose unafraid! Break barriers in your own mind to emerge free and change reality. You will keep inching closer to the Truth of your being. There is no denial for what can bring you happiness and there is no escape from what can bring you sorrow. Both aspects are going to alternate each other, no matter what. So go ahead accept, acknowledge and enjoy. Find gratitude and surrender to what Is! It is the truth of the moment!