About Awards & Gratitude

Photo by Manish Doshi

As I sat down to create my weekly Monday post, I checked into my heart for what wanted to be expressed during this week of ThanksGiving. I realized that Gratitude has been my drug of choice in life – I trace back the infinite blessings of my life to this gift of Gratitude that sometimes blooms with joy and sometimes is a practice of cultivation that reproduces joy unfailingly.

I checked for how and for whom I want to express gratitude today. Of course, for this community that literally buoyed my being for these many years now, and also something unique happened. I realized that I feel a new sense of gratitude for someone who I have often neglected most. Now I feel quite audacious to say – Myself. But honestly, and humbly that is what came to me – I am grateful for myself for all of who I have become.

Now how should I convey this? – I asked, perhaps hoping to be redirected to something else. It was a pleasant surprise when I was guided to this Liebster Blog Award post from when I was 5 months into blogging in February 2016. I did not have readers yet, but this kind blogger acknowledging and encouraging me meant the whole world to me.

I wish to share with you all today, kind friends, my response post to that award. It felt so good to have a glimpse into myself from when I was in this space kind of innocently, not knowing what blogging meant. To see not much has changed truly, in spite of the fact that I feel like a whole new person since then.

I remember so tickled from getting asked questions about myself – it was an unfamiliar and amazing window to look at myself through. This is the only blog award I responded to, going award-free thereafter. Here it is :)))

11 facts about me:

1. I believe magic exists in everyday unfolding.
2. I love rain.
3. I love driving in the rain alone.
4. I like the crunch of walking on fallen leaves.
5. I love the sunshine in lukewarm weather.
6. I can watch waves crashing for hours.
7. I think every single thing that comes my way is relevant.
8. A coffee and a great conversation is time spent well to me.
9. I enjoy creating different styles of outfits.
10. I am passionate about seeing life transformations.
11. I have spent a lot of time playing board games with my sons.

Answers to the 11 questions given to me:

1. If you could live back in time when and where would you choose and why?
Hmmm …Actually I am feeling perfect where I am, so given a choice I would like to stay right now and here 🙂

2. What do you think will be the greatest invention in the future
Don’t know really …

3. What is the best t.v. show in your opinion?
I don’t watch t.v. much … have loved Friends in the past and now occasionally enjoy Big Bang Theory.

4. What book have you enjoyed the most?
Difficult to pick one … Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, I was young and this book felt powerful…

5. Who was your favorite teacher and why?
My first yoga teacher in US, he always helped me see the truth in me, in a very un-authoritative manner.

6. Which parent influenced you the most and how?
Not sure about this actually …by now every interaction has become an influence.

7. How do you think we can contribute to peace?
By cultivating peace within, it can be very contagious!

8. What do you think is man’s greatest achievement?
In my small reality, this virtual world that connects people across the earth, is an amazing achievement.

9. What do you think is man’s worst behavior?
Acting in harmful and untruthful ways, going against joy …their own and others.

10. What do you like to do for fun?
Listen to songs, chat with friends and laugh with them.

11. If you could travel into space where would you go?
Far enough to take a look at Earth as a whole and then back!

Thank you for traveling with me and my words till here, THANK YOU is all I can say truly and deeply. Happy Week of Giving Thanks!

P.S. Thank you to my husband for the amazing fall picture that I used at the beginning.

Be-Come

Be-Come

Picture, Editing and Quote by myself

There’s a message within me that I am holding on to.
There’s a purpose within me that I am holding on to. There’s an inner reality within me that seeks to pervade the outer world. There’s an outer reality that I am continually attempting to merge with from within.

I still see inner and outer realities separately.
So I know that I am not as mature yet to feel integrated consistently. It is a work in progress on a daily basis to access this integration through my yoga asana, conscious breath, meditation practice, study of the universal principles, time with trusted teachers & noble friends, choosing actions out of deep listening for clarity and intention.

I am often sloppy and imperfect in how I live this.
Any time I have attempted to do any work from a place of want, I have had to cut through the noise of how it should be done. It takes up a lot of energy to clear out the pressures and fears that come with goal oriented choices.

My greatest power to be of value to myself or anyone has been my innocence.
It is those things that I had no idea of What and Why I was doing it, that have given me the most beautiful, joyful, nourishing experiences and expressions of life. I seem to have accepted what was coming or given to me, then aligned and equipped myself to be the best contribution I can be. This holds true for everything from motherhood to blogging.

The illusion of knowing a lot more than ever now takes away my innocence.
It takes away my capacity to accept, explore and live playfully. It makes me take refuge in my comfort zone and resist change. I am now seeking to be more deeply anchored within –  from where I find the strength of a mountain and the child like innocence.

I affirm here to listen intently for where I am called and show up consciously.
I lay down to rest all that I think I know and want. I remain present for what needs to come up for the moment, the day, the person, the situation, the project, the intention. A structure arises for me to work with, from what looks like a chaos that overwhelms at times.

It is not about what I want. It is about what wants to Be and Come through me.

It is not about what I want. It is about what wants to Be and Come through me.

IMG_20191125_103231

Original picture from one of my morning walks, from which I made the quote image above

 

Innocence & Its Faces

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi

Innocence is the face of a baby born
So also that of a person reborn
Each one has faced the struggle
To show up in the world

In their painful journey of birthing & re-birthing
Gut wrenching twisting and turning
Courage and surrender both have shown
To be able to breathe
And cry a cry of relief

That innocence has known survival
Not a scent of the vices of the world
The purity if they wish to retain
The reborn must keep the intent
To be alive & born to new moments
To die to each that has gone by …

We are blessed with many rebirths
In this lifetime alone
As much they make us weep & cry
Smile to welcome each one with joy

 

Note: This poem was first published on Dec. 11, 2015, when I was about 3 months into my blog on WP. The 4 bloggers that read it that time had felt so very precious to me. The poem itself was an emotional experience in response to a curious remark sent my way. Today this poem called me back as if to check in how and if it still fits with me. I felt it natural to share it again with all my new blogger friends.

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects, a blog by Debbie Roth who profoundly teaches the art of letting go.

When innocence thinks deep

Last year I had posted the following from my then 10 year old son: His innocent reflection on his journey of acceptance about being the shortest around, for his age.

Tall & Small

This week he said to me “Mom, I have 3 poems that I have written on some of my experiences. Can I have my own blog site to publish them?” I promised him that for now I would publish them on my site. If you have any thoughts on his work, please let him know 🙂

Work!
Do you really have so much work

Or do you just feel you have too much work

Do you have so much work

Or are you fooling around with mirth.

 

Do you really have so much work

Or are you just going with a quirk

Did you ever have too much work

Or do you just at your desk lurk

 

Do you wish you didn’t have any work

And just acting like a jerk

 

Don’t worry about how much

Keep focus and work as much

Don’t bother or struggle as such

Just be done and play as much

————————————————————-

Think good!

When you think about something bad
You might just feel very sad
When you don’t think about something good
You won’t be in a good mood.

If you think that it’s sad
You might get really mad
If you think of something that’s great
You might have a better fate.

 When you always think bad
You may not be known as a good lad
If you think that it will be good
It probably surely would.

————————————————————

 

 Fun time?

When you’re doing something fun

You don’t want to be done

When you’re doing something boring

You would rather be snoring.

 

When you’re doing something fun

You can’t tell when you should be done

When you’re doing something you don’t enjoy

Your time just doesn’t go by

 

When you’re doing something you like

It feels like you’re riding a bike

When you don’t feel like doing something

It feels better to go take a hike

_ By Sanved Doshi, 11 yrs.

 

 

P.S. Sanved is very happy to make this post a contribution to ForgivingFridays, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie.

Innocence & its faces

Innocence is the face of a baby born
So also that of a person reborn
Each one has faced the struggle
To show up in the world

In their painful journey of birthing & re-birthing
Gut wrenching twisting and turning
Courage and surrender both have shown
To be able to breathe
And cry a cry of relief

That innocence has known survival
Not a scent of the vices of the world
The reborn must keep the intent
The purity if they wish to retain
To be alive & born to new moments
To die to each that has gone by …

We are blessed with many rebirths
In this lifetime alone
Smile and welcome each one with joy!