Compassion -Would you do this?

Compassion

Picture Credit : Self

Often we carry our judgments as if our strengths
Often we don’t realize so much of it is self-judgment

So many demands on ourselves for that perfection or just rightness
So much guilt and embarrassment for that which doesn’t feel like our own self

It takes courage to look at all that and accept, love, forgive ourselves
It is tremendous relief to rest into ourselves softly, with all that we find there

Would you do this for yourself? Feel compassion just for a moment?
Would you rest in this moment? Find a way to keep going with kindness for yourself?

 

This post is a dedication to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects. Dear Debbie, your work on this blog is a profound positive influence on me. Much Love.

 

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Truthful Commitments

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “A wave washes over” at sunset on Kauai

Please read my previous post Don’t blow up your Life, as I continue my thoughts on long term relationships, while staying true to yourself, in this post.

There are long term relationships that have security of commitment and complete trust. Sometimes the problem that people face, in such relations, is of feeling saturated and locked in roles chosen for themselves.

The point of view of what you are required to do day after day, year after year becomes a sort of a confinement. You forget to ask if, whatever you choose to do, adds to the well being of you, or your relationship. When you do things because the other won’t do it or do it well enough, resentment builds up. The really small things in life become the biggest concern in such relationships.

There comes a rigidity of perspectives or a denial of an important communication that needs to happen. There is a knowing that one can depend on the other for life itself when needed, yet there is discontent on a daily basis.

The small things that become a pattern in a long time, call for conversations that feel difficult.  You make the conclusion that it is not something worth bringing up. After so long why doesn’t the other understand without explaining? – you ask. Eventually distress comes up just in presence of the other person. The original intention of love is so strong that you can’t imagine having THE conversation. This so called love cannot see the other in pain, angst or anger. So the pattern continues.

I think it is very arrogant of you, to keep living your partner’s distress and your’s, on your own. Robbing the other, an opportunity of living and facing their own humanness. Say your truth, yes the difficult one, and let the other feel the distress.

Hold the space for all unfoldings with love. Give space so you are not intersecting emotions. Allow the mess and the chaos. It is as short lived as the phases of happiness themselves. Remind each other anew the goodness that made you choose each other, in the first place.

When that wave has lived its life and washed over each of you, it will leave behind, your own joyful ways of being. Then when you meet each other in your own truth and joy, THAT is when you really meet each other again.

You experience the juice of the joy of being together. True commitment and love in relations comes in allowing space for each to find themselves and their truths.  Accepting the other, in all phases of that quest.

Marriages have happened for all kinds of reasons – physical, societal, familial, and because you had a knowing of certainty regarding your commitment. None are exempt from evolution, personal or relational. When we feel the greater Love in our being to share with each other, THAT is true union. And it always exists in intention and potential.

We are souls who found each other in commitment to do this work with ourselves, to have someone to come home to, from our deep explorations of ourselves.

And so we hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. We speak our truth, the ones that did not have an opportunity before, because what we had was enough, or we simply chose to escape the discomfort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead!

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgving Connect, a blog space I adore by dear Debbie Roth.

Don’t Blow Up your Life

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “New Day begins on Kauai”

In the recent days I have had probably one less than someteen conversations regarding relationships while being true to yourself.

There comes a time in the path of personal transformation when you question every single one of your choices that you seemed to comfortably live with until now.

My simple message is don’t blow up your life and relations entirely in your minds. Stay steadfast in making choices that work for you. Take responsibility for those choices. Give others involved, space to catch up with your new choices. Do it with love for yourself and gratitude for anything that relation has given you until now. This is Yoga of Relationships. With yourself and others. It is a skill developed to continually attain a state of balance, in our day to day life and interactions.

“Don’t Blow Up your Life!” – Chase Bossart, Yoga Therapist

This is important for long time committed relations. Your new found realizations of right or wrong about the relation are yours to resolve. Unless you are choosing to walk out of the relation, your reasons to stay are part of your gratitude and not your limitation in life. If you are receiving something, anything from the relation, then be willing to contribute to the relation. The contribution would be, you going for the change you seek while allowing space for others to be themselves. Keep asking for the truth in your relationship while you keep going for your own truth. Give up the blame, shame, game and the fight.

Go for your own joy while giving others the space to be shaken a bit, or a lot. Hold them in the space of Love. When possible hold them a bit tighter in love. You can do this in your mind, if you don’t actually hug.

This becomes easy only when you are being courageous to choose your own joy and wellness. You don’t need to turn it into a you versus me battle. Carve out small ways of being yourself. Shop for yourself, open your hair, put on make up, cut back on make up, take powerful life decisions to bring change, do what it takes – small and big. Show up beaming with joy, or choose contentment, just for making a different choice.

Begin to imagine how you would like things to be. Then inch by inch, even millimeter by millimeter, start making different choices. If you are confident of making a mile of a change, go ahead do it!

Have kindness for all involved, including yourself. Do things differently than habitual, be bold, convey your truth. Give it time. Keep steady in choosing what makes you happy. Hatred in your heart will not make you happy. Forgive in the name of human limitation. It is a choice for your own peace. Break your own limitation on this. Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger. It is something that helps accepting what Is, wholly, and then changing it!

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie Roth.

Here, Take them All

The beautiful one rests under the tree - Ranthambore - 1F8A2670

Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “The Beautiful one rests under the tree”

Your acts of Envy
Make us both feel small
Here take my feathers
Take them All
Put them wherever on you
And dance your dance
I will see what becomes
Of what’s left of mine

 

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects from dear blogger Debbie.

Precious…Is all there Is

Precious
Is this moment
Is this day
Is this life
All as you know it will pass

Precious
Is the relation
With yourself
With all around you
All as you know can change

Precious
Is your pursuits
Is your accomplishments
Is your contentment
All as you know will change

Precious
Is your humanness
In all imperfection
Is no need for perfectness
All that you strive for will come

Precious
Is the lesson
Is the opportunity
Is the message
All the experiences that they bring

Precious
Is the choice of joy
Is the choice of love
Is the choice of conscience
All that you do become blessings

Precious
Is all compassion
Is all gratitude
Is all forgiveness
All those you know and for self

Precious
Is the peace
Is the pure space
Is that nothingness
All that you keep is what you become

Precious
Is being your true self
Is the courage in being so
Is the freedom from living  as another
All that you have got always is YOU

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays, a wonderful blog that is a soothing peaceful presence in this space. Thank you Debbie! I offer this composition to forgive every time I fail to acknowledge the preciousness of all there is!

Step into the New …You

It is too long that you stayed in that shell …to keep others comfortable.

There are some around you who have always loved you, with whom you are amazing and it is easy. You feel safe being yourself. Then why walk on eggshells in the rest of the world? Why numb and dumb down the goodness and brightness in you ? Sometimes to the point that you come across as the most ungracious or insensitive person?

Nobody realizes that you are trying to be just the opposite, or simply trying to fit in. You value them too much …more than yourself! They are getting used to that …your misery even. And you are getting comfortable with that. In your mind you are being nice to them …stop …just stop!

They are taking your appreciation and praise, for everything about them, as your weakness, or worse jealousy. When you soar higher than what they perceive you to be (and you are still nowhere in your perception) …what will you take their unappreciation of your journey as? How will you look at their lack of acknowledging of your existence?

Look at those who really ‘see’ you. You seem to do everything right towards them.

Break the shell, crack open …Do what it takes! It’s worth it! They will find others who feed their comfort. Yes, give them the shock …stop hurting so much!

They will have to step up, to be able to understand you and cheer you in your growth. They will have to know the pain you pay as your dues. The grace you are showing as you choose to crack open and take flight.

You in your truthfulness will mourn your perceived loss of some of them, because you truly cared about them. That’s why you kept them comfortable while you suffered being trapped in an unwholesome reality.

Yes, I know you also have done some things wrong to some. Those too will reach out to you or you to them, in your growth. Just that you are not accountable to all of them this very minute, so don’t judge yourself so hard.

Go ahead take that step, a small change, break open, fly. The ones ready for growth will grow with you, or even break some towards their own growth. Some will fall away, as you both cannot see eye to eye now.

Forgive yourself, forgive them, love yourself, love them, allow yourself to Be, allow them to Be. Trust me, trust me, trust me it’s worth it. When you feel stuck and choose to wiggle out, it hurts, it’s worth it.

The ones who care for you and the ones you care for, will have to accept you as you are today. Let them know you want ONE with them, you are one of them. But be stronger on your own path. Some of them Never let go!!

Break out of anything you are keeping yourself in …one step at a time!