There’s some of us who have conditioned ourselves to the habit of truthfulness and kindness. I am talking about the kind of truthfulness that is hardcore and from the heart. The kind that doesn’t succumb to some of the pretentiousness of society. The kind that is very boldly but good-heartedly ready to sacrifice the niceties required to sustain a liaison for certain benefits.
It’s either my truth and your truth agree with each other or you are free to find someone else that works for you and I can move on too. It’s not how some of the world works though. A lot of times it is about having personal agendas that are secretive and communications are everything but that. The idea is to get the idea of what could be extracted of another person. Nothing wrong with it for some of us …if you are upfront about what it is that you want. So either we have it or not. So we either contribute to each other or we move on …or just enjoy that coffee and pure company of another being.
Oh I know I sound very very dumb to some of you. And you know what? I have showed a lot of dumbness in my life by simply opening my mouth 🙂 In my early young years I had not learned good discrimination in my communication and simply chose to speak the truth as it felt to me.
Example: 1. An aquaintance of my father offered to tutor me in advanced Math. And my father agreed. So I went there weekly. There were quite a few times when I was sitting there while he ‘figured’ out how to solve a problem. He visited our home again to ask my father (seriously!) why I wasn’t there anymore. I was right there to answer …my truth …”well, he wasn’t able to solve a lot of the problems so I stopped!”
Ya right! See with the truth you don’t have to think twice about what you are saying…truthful kindness took a long time to learn …
Example 2: I was at a park with my son. Met another enthusiastic mom of twins. While chitchatting she found out I rent at a nearby apartment community. Her eyes widened with pride pointing in the direction of a beautiful home she owned. It’s perfect I said! She went on how they managed to get everything perfect …now I know …looking into my eyes, if she had managed to invoke enough envy! She was soon to find out how Dumb I was! Because I went on to say how happy I was that she has this beautiful home. She really deserved it with the twins and a full time job, how would she manage without the space she has in her home. I am so happy for you! DUMB IDEA! She moved on to other people this time wide-eyed with shock, didn’t acknowledge or recognize me the next time we bumped into each other. I didn’t have what she was looking for …
I have been through all stages of trying to fit in and being all that is expected in society. And now I am back full circle! I have developed a low tolerance for the mind games and guessing games that go into the ego-boosting, you-pat-my-back and I will do the same to you- kind of relations. It takes too much energy and work to sustain them. And then there is always fear and chance that such relations fizzle out. Really high maintenance costs!
I have more fun when I am in this crystal clear space that works for me, from where I can contribute to others. From where I can ask of others what I need from them. Either we have it for each other or we don’t. I will smell it if you merely dangle a carrot in front of me. If you try to play a game with me, without being truthful to me, you will have to step up really high, and I will have good fun with you! If you are truthful to me and I have something for you, I will do everything for you to the point that I appear dumb to you …haha!
Life is beautiful really! Let’s make it so for each other. Let us be mirrors to each other that reflect back our highest goodness and truth. Let us be that crystal clear space where we allow one heart to speak to another without fear or judgment. Kindness should not have a tag really, other than the goodness of it. Trust is an absolute treasure to have in any interaction. Kindness and truthfulness taken for granted as dumbness to be milked, is sadness to the fullest. I have been on both ends of this so no judgment about that too, all is fair if we keep learning and growing from where we are.
While functioning in the world, I am becoming aware of the layers of truthfulness that we can access. Pretense is definitely not one of them. Express yourself fully with what feels very comfortable to you and to the extent that is required of the moment. Be kind, vulnerable, strong, truthful …see where the pieces fall …if needed, pick them up and move on. You are all you got and you are everything you got …dumbness and all! I love my life and the people in them!