Redefine Love

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“Let True Love Break Through” Photo Credit: Niyati Shah, Editing: Vikram Phale

If it feels like a brick pressed on your heart
It is not love, it is a lie

If it feels like you are pressed for last drop of juice
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are being the jester entertainer
With no option ever of being a tad sadder
It is not love, it is a lie

If your inert silence is their boredom
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are making choices only for others’ happiness
With no regard for your own true joy
It is not love, it is a lie

If you are looked upon to fill every gap & hole
It is not love, it is a lie

If both your gratitude and contributions are taken for granted
It is not love, it is a lie

It is all a lie you told yourself
It is how you defined love to yourself
It is how you trained the other minds to feel loved
It is how they trained you to give or get love

Cast off gradually, all the wrong ways of love
Go through the storm of seemingly no love
Feel the pain of ripping off of so called love
Melt the brick at heart with Self love

Be kind to yourself and others involved
It is not always necessary relations be dissolved
Often takes every bit of resilience to have it resolved
Souls interacting unaware what is truly to be absolved

For each individual there be an unforced place
With in between a delicious space
Find joy for you that feels natural to you
Let the nectar of true Love drip in that space

Your choices allow a sense of liveliness
Intersect with one another radiating loveliness
Share your appreciation & apprehension
Not needing a wall for seperation

Find the feeling like never before defined
Immerse in love that feels unconditioned
Start over, only genuine regard expected
For every living soul, deep existence respected

 

P.S. This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of dear Debbie’s blog Forgiving Connects

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Silent Communication

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Photo : Pragalbha Doshi, Editing : Vikram Phale

We know there is so much to say to each other
Yet at times we don’t, a word utter

We came here with a soul contract
What makes us then at times retract

There are puzzling times trying to decide
Whether to say it or let it slide

There are other times of peace
When past spoken words bring ease

There is a feeling of contentment
After what feels like communication silent

There is relief in the assumption
The other knows exactly in intention

All that was left unsaid
So much that was often withheld

There is sometimes this entire conversation
In that which is silent communication

Do you know Person 1 & Person 2?

To Person 1
Yes.
Be Yourself.
Though this nastiness
That you are giving others
Is Not You.
Find yourSelf
That You are happy with
Then
Be Yourself.
Take your time.
You will be thrilled
At the wondrous change in you.
You will enjoy Being You.

To Person 2
Yes.
I am Being Me.
Though this attitude of mine
Is not agreeable to you.
I am finding myself incapable
Of dumbing down
To make you feel good.
Take your time.
And reach out to me.
Then
You will find
My Love and Regard for you
Can stay the same always.
I am thrilled
At this wondrous change in me.
I am enjoying Being Me.

My greatest hurt

If you lie to me and I have no clue
I guess I am innocent, and so are you
I, to the ways you wish to deceive
You, to the ways I wholly perceive

If you lie to me and I feel it
Yet I hold space for you with love
To live out that lie truthfully,
I am seeing you way above
Your need to lie to me

If you lie to me and I come to know of it
And you knew I needed to trust you
That is when I experience what I must
Untruthfulness is my greatest hurt

If I have ever been cause for your pain
I sincerely hope it is because of a truth
I know how heartbreakingly  a lie can cut
Untruthfulness is my greatest hurt

An attempt at success?

This conversation feels very significant to me as it is between my 11 year old son and I 🙂

Mom: My dear friend asked me a question “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” What would you say?
Son: I don’t know  …maybe I would become the greatest soccer player …
Mom: Oh but you already play soccer and you are good at it. Think of something that you haven’t tried but would love to …knowing you couldn’t fail.
Son: What did you answer your friend?
Mom: Well …if I actually choose to do something then chances are high I wouldn’t fail.
Son: You mean you haven’t like ever failed at anything?!!
Mom: Well, I don’t remember anything that I look at it as failure, either I succeeded or learned something about myself from it.
Son: But you must have failed at summmthing that you attempted to do?
Mom: Hmm …ok so the first time I was learning to drive a 2 wheeler, I broke my arm and cannot ride one even now. But look at it this way …I now drive a 4 wheeler and it doesn’t matter to me if I ever can drive a 2 wheeler.
Son: What about something that mattered to you? Like your school?
Mom: Right, tell me why is school any different? If it matters to you you will work at it to succeed …or you could attempt something radically different because you know you could not fail.
Son: Mom you are wayy too different than most people around!
Mom: Why?
Son: You are always too optimistic …normally people are not like that …(shaking his head, eyebrows high and a grin) …

I actually felt the most optimistic in my lifetime in that moment 🙂

Truthfulness, kindness & the dumbness of it all!

There’s some of us who have conditioned ourselves to the habit of truthfulness and kindness. I am talking about the kind of truthfulness that is hardcore and from the heart. The kind that doesn’t succumb to some of the pretentiousness of society. The kind that is very boldly but good-heartedly ready to sacrifice the niceties required to sustain a liaison for certain benefits.

It’s either my truth and your truth agree with each other or you are free to find someone else that works for you and I can move on too. It’s not how some of the world works though. A lot of times it is about having personal agendas that are secretive and communications are everything but that. The idea is to get the idea of what could be extracted of another person. Nothing wrong with it for some of us …if you are upfront about what it is that you want. So either we have it or not. So we either contribute to each other or we move on …or just enjoy that coffee and pure company of another being.

Oh I know I sound very very dumb to some of you. And you know what? I have showed a lot of dumbness in my life by simply opening my mouth 🙂   In my early young years I had not learned good discrimination in my communication and simply chose to speak the truth as it felt to me.

Example: 1. An aquaintance of my father offered to tutor me in advanced Math. And my father agreed. So I went there weekly. There were quite a few times when I was sitting there while he ‘figured’ out how to solve a problem. He visited our home again to ask my father (seriously!) why I wasn’t there anymore. I was right there to answer …my truth …”well, he wasn’t able to solve a lot of the problems so I stopped!”

Ya right! See with the truth you don’t have to think twice about what you are saying…truthful kindness took a long time to learn …

Example 2: I was at a park with my son. Met another enthusiastic mom of twins. While chitchatting she found out I rent at a nearby apartment community. Her eyes widened with pride pointing in the direction of a beautiful home she owned. It’s perfect I said! She went on how they managed to get everything perfect …now I know …looking into my eyes, if she had managed to invoke enough envy! She was soon to find out how Dumb I was! Because I went on to say how happy I was that she has this beautiful home. She really deserved it with the twins and a full time job, how would she manage  without the space she has in her home. I am so happy for you! DUMB IDEA! She moved on to other people this time wide-eyed with shock, didn’t acknowledge or recognize me the next time we bumped into each other. I didn’t have what she was looking for …

I have been through all stages of trying to fit in and being all that is expected in society. And now I am back full circle! I have developed a low tolerance for the mind games and guessing games that go into the ego-boosting, you-pat-my-back and I will do the same to you- kind of relations. It takes too much energy and work to sustain them. And then there is always fear and chance that such relations fizzle out. Really high maintenance costs!

I have more fun when I am in this crystal clear space that works for me, from where I can contribute to others. From where I can ask of others what I need from them. Either we have it for each other or we don’t. I will smell it if you merely dangle a carrot in front of me. If you try to play a game with me, without being truthful to me, you will have to step up really high, and I will have good fun with you! If you are truthful to me and I have something for you, I will do everything for you to the point that I appear dumb to you …haha!

Life is beautiful really! Let’s make it so for each other. Let us be mirrors to each other that reflect back our highest goodness and truth. Let us be that crystal clear space where we allow one heart to speak to another without fear or judgment. Kindness should not have a tag really, other than the goodness of it. Trust is an absolute treasure to have in any interaction. Kindness and truthfulness taken for granted as dumbness to be milked, is sadness to the fullest. I have been on both ends of this so no judgment about that too, all is fair if we keep learning and growing from where we are.

While functioning in the world, I am becoming aware of the layers of truthfulness that we can access. Pretense is definitely not one of them. Express yourself fully with what feels very comfortable to you and to the extent that is required of the moment. Be kind, vulnerable, strong, truthful …see where the pieces fall …if needed, pick them up and move on. You are all you got and you are everything you got …dumbness and all! I love my life and the people in them!