Realness

Don'tKnow

Photo Credit: Manish Doshi

I am told …

My Realness is Intimidating

That they don’t know what to do with me

I don’t know what to do with that …

Advertisements

Choosing Teachers/Mentors – My Story

IMG_3185

“Grow & Bloom in places that seem unlikely”

As I have explained here, I did not trust my own company for the longest time. Now I enjoy my own company yet I know the significance of having the presence of a guide, mentor, teacher in my life.

A true mentor/teacher holds a clear mirror to your being, reflects your strengths and your weaknesses, without any personal agenda attached.

I say this because I have gone through a good number of teachers and mentors, long term and brief, in my quest (thirst, greed) for more knowledge, more perspectives. I found only very few who walk their talk, live their lessons and lead with compassionate authority.

There are teachers who try to lure by dangling a carrot of some conjured bliss. I could smell these carrots from afar. I have also met those with whom the work began well, I grew rapidly and then they fanned my weaknesses to keep the work going. It ended from my side, not without distress for both parties. I seek greedily, but not needily.

My humanness always saw the other greater than I am. It took me a while to become a person who seeked with clear intention. There is tremendous trust and vulnerability involved in these relations.

When they saw the potential in me, kept it a secret and worse tried to manipulate it to their advantage, it made me confused, sad and furious within, to not know what is really happening in our teacher-student relationship. When they infused fear in me to satiate their egotistic authority of their role in my life, it made me grieve and mourn the end of our relationship.

If I was feeling fearful or furious, it was time to be on my own. The right teachers always showed up next when I was ready.

I have the gratitude and blessings of this lifetime to have some truly amazing mentors/teachers in the present and past. They are true mentors because they know about each other and their significant role in my life. They are aware when I am working with more than one of them parallel, for different reasons. They are not threatened by the other nor is their ego bruised by my choices. I am able to be crystal honest with them. They don’t judge me for what I am yet don’t entertain my dependence on them. They hold safe space for my humanness and facilitate me to see my way clearly.

A true mentor strives to outgrow the relationship with the mentee and empowers you to thrive on your own.

I have never stopped being in touch with this kind. One of my past teacher of Yoga philosophy insists I should never stop working with my current teacher of Yoga philosophy. She even asked me to teach her the new perspectives I am gaining. This to me is the height of humility of a teacher for whom I had very high regard any way.

All the teachers that I crossed path with, helped me become who I am today. They modeled the right and wrong. I love having students who share with me what other sources are being helpful for them. I will never be done growing myself. I teach, facilitate, mentor with joy and freedom. I offer the same to others. We are in this together. I am walking my talk, if you see me ahead of you, just call out to me and I will reach out to you.

Is there a Perfect Spouse?

Is there a perfect spouse?

This question came up with my previous post that conveys a one-line sentiment To a Perfect Spouse.

No human is perfect. It is the perfection in relation to each other that matters. It is the freedom to be true to your being while having a tremendous commitment through all the messiness of human imperfectness. It is the dedication to evolving as a person with freedom, while nurturing the same freedom for the other. It is the care and love for the other, while standing steady on your own ground. And taking turns doing just that.

It is like having only one set of Teeth that you take turns to use, to chew on something called Life to you. LOL

It is bringing some fun and lightness while you do so for a life time. Sometimes even fun takes effort. It is honoring exactly what aspects of commitment are important to the other. And making it sacred, not sharing those aspects with anyone, in the name of free spirit or Infinite Living ­čÖé

A perfect relation does not limit either one from having other wholesome relations of any name and gender, because of the tremendous trust, commitment and vulnerability they share. They know it is unshaken for this lifetime. There is trials and treacherous tests of life on such relationships. The perfection is in the survival, sustenance and strength of character shown in such relationships.

No one is born a perfect spouse. It is what they give to the other, is what makes them perfect. Sometimes we tend to think of ourselves as the perfect one of the two. Sometimes we believe the perfect spouse doesn’t exist …only for us. Because the demand is only on the other person to be perfect.

Perfection comes from the love, care and also tenacity in the relationship. If you find it lacking some in your spouse …there are some points of evolution that exist for the both of you. That’s where your commitment gets used to step up and take the lead in nurturing the relationship into how you want it to be. It may not be a quick process but very much worth it. It also requires courage and conviction in yourself.

I am not taking into consideration here, any extreme cases of struggling, deceitful or abusive relationships. At the same time, I feel all sustained and truthful relationships undergo struggle. Because we are Infinite Beings, not bound beings. We have an innate rebel against any bondage. Heck we even rebel against our abilities/inabilities of our bodies! As if we are stuck in our bodies with all it’s pains.

Infinite freedom is available to us within the boundaries of our relationships for change and choice, within the relationship and outside of that relationship. There are no rules and bondages except created or accepted by us. The only important rule is your definition of your commitment. Keeping that, how many self- barriers are you willing to break? How willing are you to support your spouse do the same? Will you take the lead? Will you acknowledge the process if your spouse takes the lead?

 

P.S. If you feel inclined here are few of my other posts on relationships from different times. I appreciate all thought processes shared on my posts. All exchanges of perspectives are a growth for all.

Posts of one line or few

Couples

Love is when

Poetry

A true relation

Prose

Relationships …a choice or a privilege!

Relationship illusions and Truth of Soul

 

Drama wanting to be shared

Drama waiting to be shared
With anyone who even slightly cared …

Boredom is the mother
Of looking for another
Who would give a nod
To the story that we weave
As truth what we believe

More than one head shaking together
Feels great to find a smile
As we walk the mile

Use it though like a condiment
Added to your own recipe of a journey
As a tasteful and powerful complement

If used as an escape
It only adds more trauma to the drama
If used as entertainment
Leads certainly to disappointment

Get to know the blank
The space of lonesome boredom
From where all drama arises often
Helps you isolate trauma in exclusion

Now you can choose what to play
Really feel the pulse of your character
Now you become the co-writer
Enjoy all the drama for what you care
Choose the audience with whom to share

It is your show
The more and more you let go
It is your show
The more you contribute to the flow
It is your show
Take time to really know
The characters you allow
To be part of your show

The choice may not be in some characters
The choice is then actually in your role
In all the drama you want to share
With the ones who would really care!