Truthful Commitments

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “A wave washes over” at sunset on Kauai

Please read my previous post Don’t blow up your Life, as I continue my thoughts on long term relationships, while staying true to yourself, in this post.

There are long term relationships that have security of commitment and complete trust. Sometimes the problem that people face, in such relations, is of feeling saturated and locked in roles chosen for themselves.

The point of view of what you are required to do day after day, year after year becomes a sort of a confinement. You forget to ask if, whatever you choose to do, adds to the well being of you, or your relationship. When you do things because the other won’t do it or do it well enough, resentment builds up. The really small things in life become the biggest concern in such relationships.

There comes a rigidity of perspectives or a denial of an important communication that needs to happen. There is a knowing that one can depend on the other for life itself when needed, yet there is discontent on a daily basis.

The small things that become a pattern in a long time, call for conversations that feel difficult.  You make the conclusion that it is not something worth bringing up. After so long why doesn’t the other understand without explaining? – you ask. Eventually distress comes up just in presence of the other person. The original intention of love is so strong that you can’t imagine having THE conversation. This so called love cannot see the other in pain, angst or anger. So the pattern continues.

I think it is very arrogant of you, to keep living your partner’s distress and your’s, on your own. Robbing the other, an opportunity of living and facing their own humanness. Say your truth, yes the difficult one, and let the other feel the distress.

Hold the space for all unfoldings with love. Give space so you are not intersecting emotions. Allow the mess and the chaos. It is as short lived as the phases of happiness themselves. Remind each other anew the goodness that made you choose each other, in the first place.

When that wave has lived its life and washed over each of you, it will leave behind, your own joyful ways of being. Then when you meet each other in your own truth and joy, THAT is when you really meet each other again.

You experience the juice of the joy of being together. True commitment and love in relations comes in allowing space for each to find themselves and their truths.  Accepting the other, in all phases of that quest.

Marriages have happened for all kinds of reasons – physical, societal, familial, and because you had a knowing of certainty regarding your commitment. None are exempt from evolution, personal or relational. When we feel the greater Love in our being to share with each other, THAT is true union. And it always exists in intention and potential.

We are souls who found each other in commitment to do this work with ourselves, to have someone to come home to, from our deep explorations of ourselves.

And so we hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. We speak our truth, the ones that did not have an opportunity before, because what we had was enough, or we simply chose to escape the discomfort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead!

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of Forgving Connect, a blog space I adore by dear Debbie Roth.

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Don’t Blow Up your Life

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “New Day begins on Kauai”

In the recent days I have had probably one less than someteen conversations regarding relationships while being true to yourself.

There comes a time in the path of personal transformation when you question every single one of your choices that you seemed to comfortably live with until now.

My simple message is don’t blow up your life and relations entirely in your minds. Stay steadfast in making choices that work for you. Take responsibility for those choices. Give others involved, space to catch up with your new choices. Do it with love for yourself and gratitude for anything that relation has given you until now. This is Yoga of Relationships. With yourself and others. It is a skill developed to continually attain a state of balance, in our day to day life and interactions.

“Don’t Blow Up your Life!” – Chase Bossart, Yoga Therapist

This is important for long time committed relations. Your new found realizations of right or wrong about the relation are yours to resolve. Unless you are choosing to walk out of the relation, your reasons to stay are part of your gratitude and not your limitation in life. If you are receiving something, anything from the relation, then be willing to contribute to the relation. The contribution would be, you going for the change you seek while allowing space for others to be themselves. Keep asking for the truth in your relationship while you keep going for your own truth. Give up the blame, shame, game and the fight.

Go for your own joy while giving others the space to be shaken a bit, or a lot. Hold them in the space of Love. When possible hold them a bit tighter in love. You can do this in your mind, if you don’t actually hug.

This becomes easy only when you are being courageous to choose your own joy and wellness. You don’t need to turn it into a you versus me battle. Carve out small ways of being yourself. Shop for yourself, open your hair, put on make up, cut back on make up, take powerful life decisions to bring change, do what it takes – small and big. Show up beaming with joy, or choose contentment, just for making a different choice.

Begin to imagine how you would like things to be. Then inch by inch, even millimeter by millimeter, start making different choices. If you are confident of making a mile of a change, go ahead do it!

Have kindness for all involved, including yourself. Do things differently than habitual, be bold, convey your truth. Give it time. Keep steady in choosing what makes you happy. Hatred in your heart will not make you happy. Forgive in the name of human limitation. It is a choice for your own peace. Break your own limitation on this. Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger. It is something that helps accepting what Is, wholly, and then changing it!

 

Yoga – My Work & Life

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie Roth.

Thinking Aloud

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Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “Moments of sunrise, Kauai”

I realized I always used to think aloud
It was wrong I was told & felt at times

I realize now what was right about it
Over the years I have started taking responsibility for what I think!

Aligning thoughts to higher truths
The freedom it brings is amazing
For now what I think is what I say
What I say is what I think aloud

Not a care but know it very well
Thought and word of intention
Is how I contribute to Creation

That which I call my world and reality
Emerges from thought, word & beyond
As if built brick by brick
One wonder & one moment at a time

This habit of mine I think served well!

 

P.S. This post was originally published on Oct 12, 2015.

Colors of Change

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Photo Credit : Vikram Phale “Leaf”

Change is inevitable
Seems like fate’s offering
Makes you chase elusive happiness

OR

Change is intentional
Seems like chosen wise suffering
Helps you perceive pure joy within any sadness

 

Yoga – My work & Life

Here, Take them All

The beautiful one rests under the tree - Ranthambore - 1F8A2670

Photo Credit : Atanu Chakraborty “The Beautiful one rests under the tree”

Your acts of Envy
Make us both feel small
Here take my feathers
Take them All
Put them wherever on you
And dance your dance
I will see what becomes
Of what’s left of mine

 

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects from dear blogger Debbie.

Looking Back in Time & Curious Ahead

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Photo Credit : Manish Doshi “My Family On Kauai Island”

December 2016 on the sand dunes of Death Valley
Felt like a precious dream unimagined
December 2017 on the pristine beach of Kauai
Felt like a worthy gift always dreamed

Looking back 2016 had felt like a poetry
It’s rhythm evident towards the end
Miraculous intensities as if waves undulatory

Looking back 2017 feels like chunks of prose
Blocks of emotions riotous, faced to fend
Unbeknownst intensities dealt to come to close

I had felt gratitude in advance for 2017
I am just simply curious about 2018

Too many dreams at the beginning of 2017
Now I see tremendous success in simply Being

The freedom and liberation is sweet
Without the need to justify with achieving

A lot of life is hidden in the slow living
Follow into the next choice after deep listening

All the voices in my head that created turmoil
Most many of them were not mine

When I decided to do nothing
Exact things happened that meant something

Universe is becoming my family
Soul interactions touching me deeply

And there’s us souls committed to each other
Deemed as Family for this lifetime
We hold hands together in joy and trust
To make it through with our individual soul calling

Each of you dear one who reads
I wish you too a curious & glorious 2018
May you find a ground steady as you tread
The waves of life with each twist and turn

May we all embrace the beauty with mirth
Of this finite vacation on planet Earth

 

P.S. It was such unplanned happiness to me to have a shadow click of my family this year just like the end of last year 🙂 Check the one from last year here, along with the poetry of that time.

Does it really matter?

I have deep gratitude for the word press community and the magical interactions & web of connections we weave in our Universe. I am taking a break for about 2 weeks as I recognize the need for simply Being without the every day Doing, to retreat to my own space, to renew & refresh by staying offline to most extent possible on all platforms. I choose to reblog this poem, as I enjoyed going back to the mindset I had in December last year, and seeing how far along I have come this December. Wish you all a glorious wonderful holiday season into the New Year!

Infinite Living

IMG_7411 Photo Credit : Vikram Phale

When you feel like you want to disappear
What you really want is to arrive and appear
In a way that is totally you
You with all of yourself and facades few

You try to get away from it all
You though keep hearing a call
To show up this place and that
Coats and scarves and maybe a hat

You reach for things that cover best
Now that your presence is put to test
Ya ya I know it is the season and weather
But you see how glad you seem altogether

It is rather amusing to me
When I hide myself to deter
And then see how many check or bother
It shows my innate desire
To show up with all my fire
But just want to disappear
Because I am not sure if it does matter

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