Relationships & Truthful Commitments : Published in AmericanKahani/Perspectives

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Photo by Manish Doshi at Kauai Sunset

Some long-term relationships have the security of commitment and complete trust. Those in such relations often feel saturated and locked in the roles they either choose for themselves or get defined to. Eventually, distress comes up …

The above are the opening lines to my article on Relationships & Truthful Commitments recently published in the Perspectives section of the multimedia site AmericanKahani.com. It would be my privilege if you were to take the time to visit this link to read and share your feedback on my perspectives with me:
Relationships 101: The Importance of a Truthful Commitment However Difficult it Maybe

This is my second article on the topic of long-term relationships published with AmericanKahani. I shared the first article here on November 8, 2021 :
Don’t Blow Up your Life: Take Responsibility for the Choices You Make

This article was originally published on this blog On January 22, 2018.

70 thoughts on “Relationships & Truthful Commitments : Published in AmericanKahani/Perspectives”

  3. What a wonderful article. Congratulations, Pragalbha! “ Say your truth, however difficult it may be, and let the other feel the distress. Allow space for all unfolding with love.” This reminds me that pain and pleasure, both, and all human emotion is awash in Love. We hold stories about only specific emotions holding love, yet these stories are creations of the mind. In reality, all emotions and ways of being are Love. Your article is beautifully articulated, and a wonderful read for us all. Much wisdom to take to all of our relationships. 🙏💛

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    • Thank you so much Jeff for your valuable attention on my article and perspectives. Honest communications has become a very important pursuit for me in all things life, and I have come to identify as a necessary ingredient for a life of well being, from my experience of working with numerous people in support of navigating their relations and health. The line you highlight, it gives me joy to read it back – it is simple, yet takes long to arrive at and also implement in ways that keeps the space of Love. You describe so affirmingly of we operate from the stories of our mind. Thank you ever so much always Jeff, I value your reflections.

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      • You’re most welcome, Pragalbha. It’s my complete pleasure to read you, always. I understand this about communication, as, for me, it was something I struggled with for a long time, which makes my presence to your article that much more affirming. It is now a life’s work for me to always be present to my truth and share it freely, even when, especially when, that truth may be hard to hear for someone I am close to. It does take a long time to arrive at this truth, I agree wholeheartedly. I hope I did not go on too long on this latter reflection. Lots coming up in this lovely conversation. Thank you, dear friend.

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        • Jeff, you will never go on too long for me. It is such deep joy to engage in conversation here with you – the peace of utmost truthfulness. It adds to conviction in other interactions where there is’nt as much ease, and it is more a conscious practice, a skill in building at the risk of displeasing someone we care about. I am honored that you would share all that comes up – thank you very much truly.

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          • Thank you so much, Pragalbha. The deep joy of our conversations is felt likewise for me. It is a most important practice you write of, and, I find, that as we hold ourselves to our truth, and share it, we find ourselves surrounded by truth coming in from all directions from those we love; and in that instance we’ve created a space of transformational Love. Even when there are tears and pain – this is still transformational. Thank you again, dear friend, for creating and sharing this space with me. Honored and deeply grateful.

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  4. I am still reflecting on your article, well written, portrays a relationship deeply. My immediate reaction was a poem I’ve been working on about elephant in the room. Do you see it? Does the other? Are you both ignoring it by choice? Out of fear? Is there a way to persuade the elephant to leave? To speak? Do some problems have no solution? The cost?

    I don’t know if I’ll ever complete this poem-issue in my mind. Thanks again. Thought provoking…

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    • It gives me immense joy to have your kind visit and knowing reflections Dan. Your poem in questions is deeply meaningful and very much resonant with the perspectives I share. I am greatly honored that you chose to share in this space. I believe the poem is perfect to be left in the energy of questions here. It completes itself, answers itself as we delve in the questions personally. Such relations are life long cultivations with continual work of honest communications. Thank you very much for engaging with me on this.

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  5. I absolutely loved this article. When I first read the opening statement, I couldn’t quite understand how can one feel saturated and burdened in a loving relationship. It was only when I read the entire article did I understand. It is interesting to ponder that there are situations when we don’t open up because we think we may hurt our loved one, or our communication may lead to a moment that doesn’t feel right but only if we open up and communicate, doesn’t it allow more room to grow, to comprehend each other and let the love get stronger. I am guilty of doing that and just assuming. Thank you for allowing me the space to reflect 🙂

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    • I am so greatly honored by you taking the time to read, reflect on it thoughtfully and share your response on my perspectives. You have summarized perfectly how this plays out in our everyday life and in the long run. Thank you, truly appreciate it.

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      • I came by and wanted to re-read your article. I can relate to sharing my truth regularly within my relationships. I feel that it does “clear the air” and help us grow into one another in a balanced way that respects our unique individualities. We often need to grow separately to grow together so we don’t get into fixed roles that squish us into forms that repress our souls. I find that we come together so beautifully when we bring our whole selves into the relationship by having the deep and sometimes difficult discourse. Relationship has given me the most joy of all in this life. Thank you, Pragalbha for sharing such wonderful writing.

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        • We often need to grow separately to grow together so we don’t get into fixed roles that squish us into forms that repress our souls. – yes so perfectly said, this and everything thereafter dear Ka. Relationships are such deep grounds for cultivation and joy, I am so grateful and happy to have you revisit and agree with me on this. Thank you very much and Love to you and your beautiful family.

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  8. Interesting article! Well written. I have my own philosophy about relationships. It’s different from most peoples I think, and perhaps slightly unconventional I might add, yet I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the matter.

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  9. Excellent observations Prag; you understand relationships so well! Despite the prudence that people claim to have acquired, they’ve miserably failed on this front. Relationships grow only if we share our real thoughts, hypocrisy rules the world and is given a window covering of “diplomacy.” Distress keeps simmering and creates further wedges. Such superficial relationships have no future yet people stick together due to their own compulsions.
    Such a mammoth topic! I’ve written many articles on it. 😊🤗

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    • I am greatly honored to have your knowing eyes on my words. I truly admire your work and trust your articles to be source of great learning and wisdom. I feel very encouraged and happy for attempting to tackle this topic that indeed is a major source of suffering in our world. I enjoyed reading your comment that affirmed and opened my perspectives. Honest communications are literally necessary for our well being. Thank you very much Balroop, it means a lot to me.

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  12. Dear Pragalbha,
    This is a wonderful article so well said and delivered. Relationships require everyone working together in harmony and sharing the load, picking up when the other can’t and exactly what you say here:
    “We hold space for each other, in trust, love and kindness, through our own courageous, individual life journeys. ”
    It is always a moving and breathing endeavour if we are to be completely honest and that is a must. For me it is coming to the edge and being raw and honest that can be an arduous climb but worth the work.
    Thanks for sharing this and congratulations! 💖💖🌈🌈🌈

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    • moving and breathing endeavour – you bring out the aliveness of this process of honesty so well with these words.
      arduous climb but worth the work. – exactly yes, it is this way to each in our own individual ways but the deep joy comes only from this deep exploration.
      Honest communication to ourselves and to those in relation both are so necessary for our well being. I feel deeply grateful that you found my article meaningful and well delivered. Thank you very much Cindy for taking the time to read and your kind thoughtful appreciation!

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      • Yes Pragalbha, it is a moving and breathing entity and I’m glad you enjoyed my contribution. Your message is important in our lives as we are always in process.
        It’s a pleasure. I’m glad it was meaningful to you and blessings and hugs!
        💖🌈

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  14. I commented there, but I also wanted to add here that honesty is one of the characteristics bell hooks lists as important in a loving relationship. I think what you’ve written shows exactly how. A lot of times we think of honesty as something like not holding a secret, but it’s also literally just BEING honest about how you feel in a loving relationship.

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    • I just now responded to your comment on that site – I absolutely appreciated how you summarized and described our tendencies in relationships in that comment. You are so very kind to take the time, I feel deeply grateful _()_
      Yes exactly what you said in this comment above! – It is not just about not holding secrets but about being real inside out. Truly value you sharing your thoughtful and wise reflections, that add a lot of clarity and affirmation for me.

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  16. Healthy relationships with others are so vital for our overall wellbeing, whether they be romantic, familial, or platonic. The insight you offer of speaking your truth, allowing space, and accepting that a mess may follow, can strengthen all of these. If things don’t go as planned, at least we strengthen ourselves. 😊

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  17. Congratulations on the publication Pragalbha. Such a well articulated article. You have deep understanding of human relationships.
    “When there is truthful commitment, it can endure this wave of uncomfortable emotion.” Absolutely agree with you. Transparency and honesty are vital for the blossoming of any relationship.

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    • Thank you very much Radhika for your kind regard and wishes. I am very happy to know you agree with me and appreciate you highlighting that line. Relationships become refreshed and alive continually if we were to be honest in our communication. You said it beautifully in your last sentence.

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  18. I found this article to be adaptable to other relationships and feelings in my personal life. I have tried for ten minutes to write a well thought out comment. I keep stumbling over so many revelations in your post. It evokes many thoughts and reflections on relationships in my life. I can’t narrow it down to a comment. Thank you for this.

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    • I agree with you, this would apply to any relationship in our life. I focused on marital relationships because personally I felt if a person is in a marriage, it becomes a primary ground of everyday living, and what we live in one gets carried over in other relations. Thank you very much for opening up that perspective. I am humbled that you found my perspectives valuable and took time with your thoughts on it. What else can a writer ask for? Thank you very much for letting me know.

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  22. I enjoyed your article and agree with you. We have to work together and share the workload is also right but( sharing my opinion) this should be taught from childhood. In most of the families boys hardly do some work and then they are habited.❤️

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