This Is How You Experience Your Own Rebirth

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You notice some who have a spiritual practice for an hour or 2 of the day and then they freely live as themselves for the rest of the day.

To you, it seems like you get an hour here and there to be your authentic self in some circles that support and allow the ease for you to show up as yourself.

Rest of the time you are so acutely aware of your inner body – the rumble of fear in your belly, a holding up in shoulders, and your being. It feels like some practice the entire time, to have to affirm to yourself, of the safety, trust, love available for you. To nourish your inner self with your own love. To invite the ability to be with yourself with comfort and ease.

There is a conflicting perception for what is real and what is fake when navigating relationships that are either unaware of your inner journey or outright deny your feelings as invalid. They approve only what fits in their world and make what comes from your heart invisible. They want you to be assured of their love – the one that lies behind their everyday expressions of negativity, sarcasm, facade – the life of only upholding the structures they embrace and those that you are required to inherit.

Real, meaningful conversations are reserved for outsiders. Your invitation for actually caring for each other with words and gestures that are thoughtful at the personal level is rejected as naive. All gestures are transactions for how we need each other in times of need – all needs that translate into the Doing aspects without really actually Being there for each other.

All your initiatives of heartfelt love are seen as your need for their support, and not for the love itself. There is no mindful receiving, gratitude, or reciprocity, only need, indebtedness and duty. A made-up love and made-up relations that we commit and adhere to. The condition is also that your love has to be contained for this family setting only – any expression towards outsiders is foolish or unrequired, or valid only exactly as defined by them.

All other things called love and kindness are good in words until you try and implement them – that’s when they want to fix you, to become world smart, to play the power games, to lend them your energy and kindness-laden words to bring them the results of their agenda. Beyond that, they have no trust or allowance for you acting on those words and extending that heartfelt kindness to someone they don’t approve of.

They want you to get over your mushy heart that cries with hurting from the lack of integrity. You just don’t and won’t agree with hating someone for how much you disagree with their actions. You get hurt repeatedly as they only insist on having unconscious conversations with you, and otherwise, make you invisible for who you really are.

Getting past this need for nourishing family relations, standing up for being yourself, holding compassion for what they bring as love and life, not feeling like a fake when speaking their limited language when we choose to still keep the relation – these are the many painful rebirthing parts of the process.

Death of the old self and rebirth of your authentic self is what this is – very raw, very powerful as if barely not drowning in the deep dives. It is very tricky to navigate as you hold compassion for those who don’t necessarily understand your journey. You are stepping up, speaking your heart and it is taking up energy. You nourish yourself with slowness, naps, holding your baby self in your own womb, conveying her safety, trust, and love. The baby cries tears of the process, you hold her. The Universe showers you with support by putting you in circles where you feel supported and held through this.

My Beautiful Friend, this is perhaps one way you experience your own rebirth in this lifetime. Some relations continue in your new life, some don’t, some go on an uncertain length of break. Love is all you ever wanted to feel, you literally are willing to be reborn for that. You will have the capacity to love them all. This time without needing them to love you in exact certain ways.

Because now
You are Love.

P.S. I just might be slower in my responses this week, yet I am right here, absolutely treasure our conversations and the honor of knowing your thoughts on my post _()_

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74 thoughts on “This Is How You Experience Your Own Rebirth”

    • This writing isn’t current experience, yet it called to be shared, perhaps as a powerful looking back at how I indeed found what is important for me. I feel grateful for holding nothing but Love for all who assisted my journey in pleasant, unpleasant ways. Thank you for reading 🙂

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  2. powerful post … you describe so well that angst between those on an inner journey and those with little to no insight. One must be wary of associating with such as it’s a sensitive journey and their rigidity is stifling. Eventually you know they will never approve, they keep prodding to take you back to their level … but eventually you get to that point of unconditional love. Seeing their struggles, their avoidance of the inner world … it’s their loss as we start to fly with those eagles unleashed inside!

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    • I truly appreciate you stating this process with such simplicity and wisdom. I am very grateful for eventually arriving at unconditional Love, for I refuse to give up what I was in it for. I love your words – fly with those eagles unleashed inside! There is no choice but to fly when we start feeling the wings. Thank you very much for your beautiful kind support.

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  3. By comparison in the Christianity that I practice there is also rebirth, but it is nothing that I can achieve by my own efforts. The rebirth happens when the Holy Spirit dwells in me. Do you have deities that you identify with through the process of rebirth that you practice? Or is it something you have to do on your own?

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    • I have had fair exposure to Christianity as I studied in a convent school. With varied exposure to different religions, I am still arriving at one focus of faith. Though I am grateful to have arrived at surrender to the Divine as the source of all inspiration and inner guidance through life. I can relate to not having any personal efforts in that sense. It is something that I get led through. My post is more a description of the emotional journey of going through this discernment of what feels authentic or not, and our willingness to step out of the existing ways of being and the practiced roles, a rebirth in to truly Being.

      Thank you for asking Frank. I was moved to post this and wasn’t sure what it ‘looked’ like.

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    • Your knowing response perfectly reflects my experience – it is indeed the biggest lesson 🙏🏼 thank you very much for your kind visit and appreciation 💛 I gratefully retrieved your comment from spam just now, hence such delay in my reply. My apologies.

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  6. Such an important issue to discuss and open in us. This is so true. When we know who we are. When we love who we are. When we know what is important to us and trust in life to support us. We will find all those around us will respond to us in the same way 🌿🌈

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  8. We all see others from our level of conscious awareness. This is true for me , you, your brother and mother. Those who don’t have this same level of awareness cannot see in the same way. They may judge us, and condemn us, but we must not judge them because of their lacking. They deserve our love and support for where they are. It isn’t easy. We must evolve to be able to give them this unconditional love… and let go of the wounds from the past.
    Thank your sharing this profound part of your journey 💕🙏💕

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    • Your echo the process behind my post with such simplicity and wisdom Val. Yes it is for us to raise our own bar beyond the pain of it all to the love that is unconditional. For each one is in their own journey. So much healing comes from letting go. Thank you very much for your thoughtful kind support.

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  10. Seems like a cathartic write for you, Pragalbha. A few sections read like a letter, which can also be healing for the writer, even if the intended audience never receives the letter. Autumn certainly invokes the time for “death of the old self” – a return to or finding love within. 💖

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    • This was lying in my older drafts and I was called to look at it today when I was contemplating about my weekly Monday post. As often lately, I tried to turn away from it to post something more current or cheerful even, but the calling was undeniable that this needed to go out in the Universe. I was unsure but very sure. Perhaps you are right, it needed to be completed by getting shared. It does feel like getting healed from it all. Autumn has indeed opened up a greater Love within. Thank you very much for your thoughtful insightful response, truly appreciate it!

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  11. I am overwhelmed with emotion. This post is like reading the last 5 years of my life. Beginning with recognizing that my authentic Self was masked with a performance of self that was programmed to behave as everyone else needed it to be – of course, these concerns were ultimately held in mind and acted on my be. The truest freedom begins when we become aware of the hidden Self, dig in deep, traverse the many tears of held onto pain, and let that authentic Self shine as it did when we were children. Love is at the center of this process; as is suffering, yet when we understand that suffering is part of the liberation, we Love all aspects of life, just as it is, just as it was supposed to be, because the suffering we find out later is also Love. Love for all there is to feel, to experience. Oh, Pragalbha, I love this post so much. Resonates deeply in my heart, where it will remain. 💙🙏

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    • Dear Kind Friend Jeff,
      Your comment gave me the answer for my ‘Why” for sharing this post. I was once again surprised to be called to this older draft, and insisted to be shared. I tried to turn away to post something more current or cheerful, but this one won’t relent. I felt unsure and bare – just is it really necessary that I share this? It is so precious to have this WP space to surrender to these tugs for opening up beyond comfort. I feel complete and fulfilled for having heeded to share. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me, more than words can say. The performance self is such a torture literally. The child like innocence is real in this process – the pain, the suffering and the Love all mingle to become One. You describe this so beautifully, I am touched beyond measure. Thank you for Being here.

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      • It is always an honor to read you, and to be here, dear Pragalbha. I am overjoyed to read about the pull to post, and the activity to do so; I know this well, and am always in awe of the process of surrender. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us. Have a blissful week, my friend. 🙏💙

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  12. Wow, this is as always a powerful, spiritually uplifting post! The title itself is very captivating- how we experience our own rebirth within our life times. The lack of sync between the people in the external world and our inner spiritual journey and how the universe supports us to maintain this delicate balance, it’s all so wonderfully designed.
    There are times when I feel like questioning the existence of an ultimate creator, but reading posts like these naturally wades off such disbelief. It’s all so masterfully designed snd it takes a skilful master for that.
    Loved the quote at the beginning too. As always, a refreshing post. Truly enjoyed 😊🤍

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    • It is so fulfilling for me to have your visit, you read into the essence of my post so exactly, I feel very encouraged for sharing with such openness. You make me feel very good about the choice of title as I meant it to be clearly and simply about our personal growth in this lifetime and hoped to not be read with any religious context. I agree with you it is indeed very masterfully designed. I feel humbled that you found value for wading off disbelief, which naturally arises at times. Thank you very much kind friend, truly means a lot to me.

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  13. These words read a lifetime of experience(s) and ‘adjusting’ or relearning. With our own gathering of new emotions, new lessons, new experiences….comes a deeper and better balanced self. Hopefully! In doing so….many things change. Our relationships grow, or stay stagnate. We grow, or stay stagnate. There is much to explore here in your words Infinite.

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  14. I understood the thoughts behind the words and find myself in agreement with the overall summation. My own spiritual journey towards self-discovery is still in a nascent phase and I feel there is quite a long way to go (hopefully I can reach par in this lifetime). Understanding the self and then the universe around me is quite an ask and therefore I am moving slowly in my space – feeling around the edges till I know my realm, till I have the confidence to stand at the centre and spread out my arms to give myself up to the elements.

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    • I am truly honored to have this beautiful description in response from you. I feel like there is always a very long way to go, we wouldn’t be done in this lifetime unless we are bypassing our earthly roles. The difference I seek is in the ease of it all. If we are true to the process then it does feel a very slow pace, is my humble point of view. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts, it really means a lot to me _()_

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  15. I hear your words echoing in the memories of who I was before I set out to teach myself to like myself! Prior to doing that difficult inner work, I struggled with my authentic self, because I carried so much self-loathing and spoke very unkindly, even cruelly to myself.

    When we struggle to feel good about who we are, this is a sign we need to begin to gently start the practice of teaching ourselves to like ourselves, then the inner world of our heart will slowly begin to match the intellectual thoughts we have of who we want to be!

    While this is difficult work to do because we must consistently be persistent in our efforts to speak kindly to ourselves and to practice suspending judgment, in order to finally lay to rest the lies we have internalized about who we are!

    This is a very worthwhile effort, because of the resulting inner peace and sense of gratitude!

    Peace to you all!
    Tamara

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    • Dear Tamara, as always I am so honred that you choose to share the wisdom of your journey in response to my sharing. I absolutely loved – gently start the practice of teaching ourselves to like ourselves, then the inner world of our heart will slowly begin to match the intellectual thoughts we have of who we want to be!

      I think I have finally learned to absolutely love myself, I truly do. My self worth was dependent on feeling genuine unconditional love from each and every one of my relations, the ones given by birth. It was alarming to learn that that is not part of the worldly game of relations, they are actual games instead 🙂 and yet it is not my place to judge anyone because if I do not have the capacity to love them all unconditionally then why am I asking for it from them? Of course the major learning was about boundaries for self love and self care. You fuel me with such comfort of knowing that none of us are alone in this, we are just meant to find it on our own. I agree with you it is absolutely worthwhile effort!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the work you do and have done _()_

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      • Wow! Those are truly amazing self realizations!

        I’d love to say that I have reached a point of 100% self love, because situations keep showing up where I feel my self doubt or question my self worth, so I need to keep administering doses of kindness towards myself!

        When I think I haven’t had one of these in a while, something comes up where I need to practice more self love! I do need to observe to myself that the episodes are less and less deep, and don’t last as long as they used to, so that’s very encouraging!

        I’m grateful that I know the steps to work on my self doubt because I can recognize it right away and go into corrective thinking to help myself through those moments instead of spiraling downwards like I used to! I don’t see these moments of questioning my worth as being an indication that I have failed to do my inner work sufficiently well, but I realize that the inner damage I sustained crept into the furthest corners of my mind and spirit, so sometimes it simply takes situations or events to push them up from those hidden corners.

        I say this because I used to be hard on myself for not being able to just handle all my inner damage at once, and again, having this expectation is probably symptomatic of the damage, but then I l watched an old video of Louise Hay, when she was quite old, saying she too experienced this and used her own techniques to walk herself through it!

        I’m also certain that there are readers seeing these words who find encouragement to keep going when they see they are not alone in falling down on the path to healing!

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        • You lay it all down absolutely clearly and I am very glad to find myself at a place of understanding and embodying this process of being exactly. Yes the episodes aren’t as deep or long anymore, and I actually welcome them wholeheartedly as I know that I have reached the farthest parts of these internal conditioning and here’s my opportunity to clear and get more expansive in my being. The work of Louise Hay is beyond words for the amount of profound gratitude I feel for her🙌🏼

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          • Right?! So well said! I love how you say you have opportunities to do more clearing! This is such a huge mindset shift from dreading each occurrence! 🌸🌸🌸

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  16. Wow very uplifting and profound words, Pragalbha. When you are Love itself then you see everything around you as Love. There is nothing else but Love. God has made our Universe from His Love and Love must Love. Being grateful and being joyous and happy is what we really are. Other things just fall away. Great and lovely post.

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    • Your words are such beautiful positive essence of what my message is at the end of the journey I describe. I truly appreciate you bringing in this strong affirmation for Love and the higher level functioning Love brings for us. Everything dissolves in its presence. It is our work to continually embody and clear what is in the way. Thank you very much for reflecting back in the most powerful way!

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  17. I’m totally trapped in the web of other people’s expectations and opinions of me, both real and imagined. Your image of carrying and protecting our new baby self is very powerful, an image I intend to keep with me when going about my day, whenever I feel like I cannot be the self I want to be reborn as, to not be held back by the things I want to leave behind, just because others view me that way.

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    • You gave me such joy with your simple kind words! What more can I ask for – if you think that I could touch upon some meaningful philosophy that also seems relatable in daily life. It made my day to know, thank you ever so much for your wisdom and kind words.

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  19. We all view our world as we understand it. I find that there is no they, for that speaks as the part of us that needs nurturing. Once we know ourselves, we can join them in peace and confidence. When we separate our self from others, it’s the cue to dig within. Rebirth is a mysterious journey filled with rewards.

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    • You said it awesomely! I totally agree with you and understand how it is all about the nurturing that we need and looking for in the wrong place It is quite a journey to come to realize all that you are saying. Thank you very much for your honest wise reflection, it is very valuable.

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  22. I can relate to this a lot because a few years ago, I realized I had to go back and mother my baby self, to increase my self worth and self love. So, I appreciate you writing this in a way that perfectly expresses how I felt at the time. It was like a realization that I didn’t need (fill-in-the-blank) family or friends to do specific things to fulfill my needs, which I’d lacked years ago. All I needed was me, but not in a “selfish” way, just in a way that said exactly as you said in the end…I am love. We all are.

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    • All I needed was me, but not in a “selfish” way – this and everything you said is so perfect and supportive of why I was moved to share this. So comforting to read what you share. Thank you very much for visiting and your kind support.

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  23. Wow! You said this so brilliantly. I’m going through new birth audit feels good. Unfortunately some old things can’t journey with me during this time because I need to heal, and rediscover what moves me.
    Thank you for writing this!

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    • I am very glad and grateful to know this is resonant and contribution to your journey. It is so wise to realize what things can’t journey with us in order to heal and rediscover. Thank you for your kind appreciation. Wishing you the best of ease and joy through it all 💛🌹✨🙌🏼

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  24. “Death of the old self and rebirth of your authentic self is what this is – very raw, very powerful as if barely not drowning in the deep dives. It is very tricky to navigate as you hold compassion for those who don’t necessarily understand your journey. You are stepping up, speaking your heart and it is taking up energy. You nourish yourself with slowness, naps, holding your baby self in your own womb, conveying her safety, trust, and love. The baby cries tears of the process, you hold her. The Universe showers you with support by putting you in circles where you feel supported and held through this.”

    EXACTLY. This rebirth is a very challenging Journey and requires so much Love and nurturing from ourselves. Yet when we become confident in the “new us”, we know how to be authentic with everyone and in every aspect of our lives. The game playing is over. The pretentious attitudes gone as well. Some may not appreciate the new you, but that is OK because during your birth you have learned not to compromise. You’ve become wise, my friend, and your growth is amazing. Do not allow the sneak called fear in any part of your life. When it does show up, and it will, face it down and understand from whence it comes. Then let it go and proceed with courage knowing that fear will no longer interfere. I LOVED this post from you! Brava!! xo

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    • during your birth you have learned not to compromise – this, and everything you say – so affirming, enlightening, comforting, supportive of my journey and message. It is undeniable how the authenticity finds its way in every aspect of life, refusing any and all games. It is so empowering to read from your knowing words of wisdom. So good to read back my own words from you – they now have added potency. I pray and hope exactly what you say – to not have fear interfere. Your visit is a precious gift and a privilege Amy. Thank You.

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  25. This is so beautiful, Pragalbha. I had been going through this and I hadn’t really understood what was going on. Thank you for sharing this- I need to take care of my inner self like a baby until I have enough love for all- even those who cannot love back or think of it as a need.

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    • I am so deeply fulfilled to know that this was of value to you Smitha. These are such real tender journeys for our beings, we are not taught how to care for ourselves. Thank you for your kind visit and comment 🙏🏼 Much Love to you 💛✨

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  26. I resonate so much with this line
    “It is very tricky to navigate as you hold compassion for those who don’t necessarily understand your journey”
    How true this is. Difficult in real life, but so very true.
    A post one can read over and over.

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    • Thank you very much for highlighting that line. I agree with you, it is a difficult thing to learn, yet so important. It makes me happy and humbled that you find it of value to read this again. Much Gratitude for your kind visit and attention _()_

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