No Matter What

Photo by Myself

You are annoyed with me
Because I insist on Love
No matter what

No matter what
I love you too
From the distance
We are both Comfortable at

I wondered about these words that clearly chose how I would resume back from my month long blog break. I questioned if this was the best inspiration or wisdom I managed to wring out from all the living I did this past month.

September mostly turned out to be a family oriented month with few milestones and celebrations that I enjoyed with fulfillment. I am also aware of all the growing up that happened for me inwardly while going through life that spilled out into the world.

It is perhaps known to all who commit to their personal and spiritual growth that the immediate signs of our evolution is reflected very clearly in how it affects our relations. The About page of my blog is when I first realized that I am now(then in 2015) able to see myself beyond all the definitions of the relations that I have soulfully invested myself in. Yet, after writings and writings on the skillful ways of relating to myself and others, I am deeply humbled at how repeatedly I face my own patterns of how I live in illusion of what some relations are, instead of what they really are.

I forever lived with the belief that Love sustains all, Love can bring any transformation, Love prevails all, Love heals all …I so badly wanted some of my relations a certain way, full of genuine love and kindness, that I was blinded to the art of healthy boundaries. I had to learn something I thought I was done learning so long ago. I questioned the integrity of my Love. I asked myself – after getting hurt so many times from the demands of transactional relationships, after so many awakenings and poetry, etc. what is it that value you want to show up with for anyone? The answer was still Love. I felt relieved for not losing that one thing that I based all my life on.

My mistake was to not allow the spaciousness that Love is. To not allow space for myself for the Love to bloom in nourishing ways for myself, along with those I insisted on with so much Love. They are literally annoyed and angry with me that I am not annoyed and angry at life exactly the way they are. I had to learn the lesson fresh, crisp and clear that no amount of sacrifice of my love and care for myself, is enough to make the other feel loved and cared for.

Some relations are the stickiest tests of our ability to stay in integrity to our core values of Being. They are an opportunity to me to cultivate the value of Love no matter what. Nobody needs to be held hostage to my definition of Love, just like I do not enjoy being hooked to any drama and games in the name of relations. Love with capital L is unconditional, devoid of any conditions of how it should look like in daily life. It can be as true and pure, even from a distance of time and space, if required.

Loving Note to my dear Blog Friends : Thank you for being here for me as I truly used this break to enjoy free blocks of time along with some joyful busyness. Each time I return to this space, it is with utmost gratitude in my heart. I look forward to making my way to your works that I missed.

Also I wish to humbly share with you this link for a Stress Reduction Virtual Workshop that I co-presented for Brown & Toland’s Physicians Group. The workshop is now added to the library on their wellness page and available for free public access: https://www.brownandtoland.com/wellness I would be honored to know if you were able to take the 45 mins to watch it fully.

81 thoughts on “No Matter What

  1. A thoroughly insightful and though provking article Pragalbha … and I agree that having ‘space’ within the realm of love is a wondrous feeling to discover, and of course being comfortable in a relationship is most important .. πŸ™‚πŸŒπŸ₯°

    Liked by 3 people

  2. families are our greatest teachers of patience, tolerance and how to let go … most relationships are based on our delusions of how we think ‘they are’ which is usually very far removed from reality …

    So glad you had a lovely break … I’m super busy now but hope to visit your workshop in the next week or so πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Very truly said my wise friend – they totally refine our inner journey. I am amused at how much I have been looking to ‘take a nap’ in the comforts of an ideal family πŸ˜‰ Thank you for your thoughtful words πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

      • ha what a waste of time that would be πŸ™‚

        I honestly think if we had that ‘ideal loving supportive’ family that society and media put forth as the ‘norm’ we would not be on our spiritual journeys!

        The more dysfunctional our background the more motivated we are to change something … starting with ourselves so we don’t fall into their genre πŸ™‚

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        • ideal loving supportive’ family that society and media put forth as the β€˜norm – exactly, oh the number of years spent before I realized what really the ‘norm’ was. It is so glorious to live life with its entire purpose redefined! 😊 I love and appreciate you sharing these views in such direct words πŸ’›

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow a profound month. Welcome back. Lovely heart felt poem.

    ‘…They are literally annoyed and angry with me that I am not annoyed and angry at life exactly the way they are. I had to learn the lesson fresh, crisp and clear that no amount of sacrifice of my love and care for myself, is enough to make the other feel loved and cared for….’

    Big learning and maybe even heart breaking and very tearful realisation, at the same time freeing.

    ‘…I thought I was done learning so long ago…’. I don’t think we are ever done learning. Which is a good thing albeit painful at times.

    ‘..I am deeply humbled at how repeatedly I face my own patterns of how I live in illusion of what some relations are, instead of what they really are… ‘ such a big learning.

    I have learnt I can only change me and not others. I have learnt they are too busy in their life, their pain to even notice mine. But I am expected to understand theirs. They have a picture of me that isn’t me. I have learned be detached and loving, space, boundaries, do not take it personally as they forget what they do , just do more inner work so that no matter what when they come I don’t get disturbed inside. Their world view and mine are polar opposites and that is fine. Don’t expect anything accept as they are and keep interactions limited, failing that see it detached not personally. If hat makes sense.

    Your post are also so precious and profound. Lovely to have you back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is my deep gratitude and joy to read your response – it is so comforting, understanding, thoughtful and fulfilling for me. It is a painful heartbreak indeed to learn these lessons each time we do. Relationships are certainly, perhaps the only true spiritual practice, true refining of our inner journey.

      They have a picture of me that isn’t me – I so agree with this and everything else you say. Very validating. You are right about working on ourselves so we aren’t disturbed no matter what.

      Thank you very much for always deeply engaging with my posts, it means a lot to me πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I resonate deeply with your experience of discovering that love is still your core value, despite everything that may appear to work against it, or challenge it…..’The answer was still Love. I felt relieved for not losing that one thing that I based all my life on.” Beautiful words. πŸ’™

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  5. Welcome back, Pragalbha. There are some who just exist and there are others who learn every moment. But only a few incorporate that learning into their living to make a difference to themselves and others. Familial ties bind us as well as can suffocate us at times. But they sure endure because of love.
    So good to have you back. You were missed. ❀️
    Will surely have a look at the workshop soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is so wonderful to read from you, Pragalbha. The story you’ve shared resonates deeply. I’ve been given several learnings about Love over the past couple of years. I too had to learn to redefine and reconceptualize my previous held notions of what Love truly is. Though painful at times, which is part of the process, the learning has been/is tremendous, as I continue to free myself of notions of what Love is supposed to be, and stand in the Love that resides in my heart. Beautiful post, my friend. Welcome back! πŸ’™πŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is funny not funny how equally necessary and painful these lessons are in our lifetime, I alternate between wondering if it could be all different and then knowing exactly why it needn’t be any different πŸ™‚ It is very affirming and comforting to read your thoughts in resonance. I am very grateful for your thoughtful words. I look forward to visiting your space to catch up on missed reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. So lovely to see you back here Pragalbha.
    Your words are wise, compassionate and loving. for me, it was my relationship with my mother that taught me the infinite benevolence of love — and as long as I lived true to my values, walked in integrity, our relationship was free of its angst — but as soon as I wished it to be other than what it was, my angst always interfered with my experience.
    ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Truly appreciate your sharing Louise πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’› it comforts and affirms my learning and journey with this – I still slip into times where my integrity feels more like I am abandoning, giving up on something. You clearly mirrored it for me, where I need to stand tall, no matter what. Thank you very much for your time and kind attention.

      Like

  8. It’s interesting to know that you don’t react much to neither love nor hatred.You remain normal what so ever may be the situation.That’s a great quality of yours.Thank you very much for sharing it .I am sorry to say that I can neither follow you nor like your posts due to some technical problem.Anyway I shall read through the mail.Thank you very much .Take care.πŸ™πŸ˜ŠπŸŒΉ

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a precious kind acknowledgement you give me, I am deeply humbled. I think when I slip into human emotions, I feel and live them deeply to the fullest, so once the wave is over, I can be back to myself with love and gratitude for all.

      Oh I am not sure why that problem is! Thank you so much for your presence and wisdom, it is a very meaningful support to me πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’›πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Your reflections about love always speak to me in volumes. May I add, I am Love, You are Love and we all are Love. This line: “I questioned the integrity of my Love. I asked myself – after getting hurt so many times from the demands of transactional relationships, after so many awakenings and poetry, etc. what is it that value you want to show up with for anyone? The answer was still Love. I felt relieved for not losing that one thing that I based all my life on.” Need I say more Pragalbha.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is a precious gift to me that you ‘read’ back those lines to me. What you add is very true too – We Are actually Love. I am very glad and grateful that my reflections are meaningful to you. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and respond kindly.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Very profound thoughts, full of wisdom. The quote is so true- love requires space. The only kind of love that isn’t transactional is self-love, which we all need to prioritise.
    Very profound article! πŸ‘Œ

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  11. Dear Pragalbha,

    What a wonderful blog you have constructed here! I am absolutely enjoying reading your thoughtful, resonating posts ringing with truth and contemplation. Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog posts and I look forward to continuing to read up on your pieces. Have a wonderful week!

    Lauren πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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