Of Becoming Myself

Photo by Myself

I have circled back to square one yet again in my journey of Becoming myself.
It is my responsibility to patiently skillfully claim who I am.
I Am the ripple and the wave that keeps flowing in to her destiny.
I receive this gift of melting diffusion of my being fully, breathing and being with it.

A Moved Heart, deep no-tears-eyes feeling tears.
This is pure energy transmission through pure intent.
This is Truth of the moment. This is Love.
On my next phase, I work on absolute skill in silence or speech, than ever before.
My Life is Changed Forever.
I am stunned and moved, and receiving deeply. I am ready. Whatever that means.

In this moment I accept my wholeness.
I leave it to the shift and process to work itself through me.
It feels empowering. I am thrilled at the lack of the lurking fear and overwhelm.
The prayers and blessings are at work at all dimensions.
This energy is so fluid and expansive.

I am done blinding myself from the clarity available to me.
I am done being so cautious of stepping into it.
I feel the grief of mothering others’ emotions and then letting go.
I cared for how much they needed me to need them and so became the needy one they needed me to be. I have been part of the game too, trying to keep it all so comfortable.
Oh Truth is not such. So much peace in this moment I don’t know who I am anymore.
That makes me smile, it shows me my raw beginning yet again, to get back to being who I was, am, to be. I flow in to my destiny, from this moment here now.

I am not stuck here, I am planted and blooming.
There is pulsating power within, my container is adjusting, recalibrating for this shift.
I am reminding myself these sensations are not pain they are sensations of divine rearrangement of energy itself, tangible and intangible.
This process is going to stay alive for some while, I will stay present and silent.
What Gift, Grace, Gratitude – to hold this unfolding, in utmost reverence!
Thank You is what covers it and doesn’t begin to cover it, for the revelations and truth that are a grace of this lifetime.

This post is a modified compilation of my comments that came in response to
Amy Rose on a recent post of mine Layers Illuminated. I decided to make my end of this recent conversation into a post to turn the profound shift into a powerful affirmation, own and embody it fully. I would be honored to know how this post spoke to you.

80 thoughts on “Of Becoming Myself

  1. These three jumped out to me:

    “I am done blinding myself from the clarity available to me.
    I am done being so cautious of stepping into it.”

    “I cared for how much they needed me to need them and so became the needy one they needed me to be. I have been part of the game too, trying to keep it all so comfortable.
    Oh Truth is not such. So much peace in this moment I don’t know who I am anymore.”

    “I am reminding myself these sensations are not pain they are sensations of divine rearrangement of energy itself, tangible and intangible.” (This was my absolute favorite line!)

    Your honest sharing spoke encouragement and comfort to me. It’s difficult for me to say much more than I feel as if your words are not coming from outside of me rather they are from inside. The energy you’ve expressed here, reminds me so much of something I try to find and hear from within. Your post speaks very powerfully to me. I especially love the idea of having a reverent attitude towards the unfolding. I find that a beautiful perspective. I do sometimes get so lost and fearful in this journey when things feel uncertain or painful. That perspective of reverence is something I’d like to practice. Thank you for sharing your inner world!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Your words, all that you say so heartfully and thoughtfully touches me deeply, my heart smiles so contently and deeply that my post spoke to you as if your own inner voice. What an honor really, I am truly humbled that you say that. Lost and fearful is such a natural feeling on this honest journey of being, and yet time and again we get signs and miracles of how we are held, guided throughout and from within. So much beauty in the tediousness of it all. What a gift to get to connect with you fellow traveller, I am melting in gratitude for your comment. Thank you very much for highlighting your favorite lines and reaffirming the attitude of reverence. Thank you for receiving my inner world, I receive from your receiving. Much Love.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Mmmm. This post spoke to me in so many ways, from the tears that are there, and come, and then don’t, to the becoming something so new, rearranged and transfigured from the being that once was, into? Well, there’s really no need to know, as it is just unfolding, in each moment, just right, just so. Your words on mothering others emotions also spoke to me so very deeply. I did this for such a long time, I didn’t know where they stopped and I started; and, what a revelation to be in a space now where all there is is being, expansive, full of, as you write, Grace and Gratitude, what a Gift, indeed, Pragalbha. I love this post, you words have entered directly into my heart, my dear friend.❤️🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    • It is a great honor and deep joy to be read by you my kind and wise friend. It is as if you are riding on this wave right by me, and conveying your knowing assurance to me. All molecules of being did get rearranged and yet what grace to have it come as gently as Mother’s tough love is. What you said about mothering other’s emotion is so perfect, so familiar with losing myself completely. I agree it is all unfolding, we do good as long as we stay steady in the expansive energy of Gratitude. Your comment means more than words can say, Thank You 🙏🏼💛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I like this phrase “Thank You is what covers it and doesn’t begin to cover it”. That is a good way of putting one’s gratitude for being. From my religious perspective the answer to the question who you are would be: you are a woman, created by God in His own image to give Him glory.

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  4. Oh dear Pragalbha, how will I thank you enough for this more insightful poem that hits so hard!?
    I feel like these lines are direct from my heart…
    I am done blinding myself from the clarity available to me.
    I am done being so cautious of stepping into it.
    I feel the grief of mothering others’ emotions and then letting go.
    I cared for how much they needed me to need them and so became the needy one they needed me to be. I have been part of the game too, trying to keep it all so comfortable.
    Oh Truth is not such. So much peace in this moment I don’t know who I am anymore.
    How truly said!? Thank you again for this magnificent write and for sharing this with us. Much love ❤️ 🤗🤗😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • It warms and thrills my heart to read back those lines from you, to know you found resonance in your heart with them. So fulfilling to know! Absolutely grateful for your very generous response, such joy :))) Thank you 💛

      Liked by 1 person

    • I deeply honored and grateful to know you read multiple times, and felt the sensations and layers of it. This process was very alive in me, as I kept giving words to it. So fulfilling to know you felt it too my friend 💛 I am blessed to have you and your presence here. Your last statement I receive as my blessing and affirmation, thank you ever so much dear Ka 🙏🏼 Loads of love to your daughter too ✨

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    • That is very true, it is indeed the most precious gift, we often either forget or find it tedious. I feel humbled and happy that you see the awakening and awareness in my writing 🙏🏼 thank you very much for your kind appreciation 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, my dear friend…this is so beautifully raw and authentically YOU! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I wholeheartedly resonate with this piece and the awakenings within it. I felt your writing here was a small reflection of the journey of your soul and I feel so honored to have read it! You are so wise and inspiring, I truly appreciate you. Keep shining 🤗🖤💫

    Liked by 2 people

    • It is stunning to me how much you truly See into my writing. That you see small awakenings and small reflection of the journey of my soul – it is so true for me, this is perhaps the latest wave in the ocean of awakenings that I am swimming in. I too am honored for your reading and reflection, it is very fulfilling for me. Thank you very much dear Ace, Much Love & Stay Blessed ✨

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This post screams POWER!

    Such empowering affirmations, insight and release – I wonder what you are going through, it surely is an intense awakening. I am tickled to even think about how wonderfully it’ll unfold – I can almost see you evolving to and merging with your higher self.

    More power to you, lovely lady! 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    • What an awesome feeling of affirmation your comment gives me! You are so kind, loving, wise and knowing of this journey. This is the latest wave I imagine, in the ocean of awakening that I have found myself swimming in for a while now. What you see for me, is my honor and gratitude 🙏🏼💛 thank you for your reassuring and empowering words, means a lot to me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wowwww..! My dear friend, this is masterpiece..! I truly loved it..! Such a wonderful and inspiring piece..! Such a powerful words you used here my dear..! So amazing..! You’re really great..! You’re an angel..! I’m lucky to know you..! Woww!! Each and every lines spoke to me..! You will never fail to inspire me dear..! Very BEAUTIFULLY expressed dear..! Keep shinning..!❤️🤗💖

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This … “I leave it to the shift and process to work itself through me” says so very much to me. It is a shift, constant, and the follow up process to adjust to (overcome? move with? change directions?) that comes with that shift.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is beautiful I do think sometimes growing into oneself can be a multitude of sensations, including pain (i.e., the pain of realizing you haven’t been yourself, the pain of becoming yourself and losing others, etc.).

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I loved the insights you have shared with us through your poem Pragalbha. I am happy that you are discovering a new “you” and gaining clarity as you understand the shift in your perspective of life. It is always so important to be aware and celebrate the journey of Becoming. You are treading on a beautiful path of enlightenment. Wishing you light and love always ❤ !

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your warm loving words of support are so joyful to me dear Radhika 💛 Clarity is often jarring, and yet there is so much to be grateful for, it is a path indeed followed through with Guidance. Thank you so much for reading and your thoughtful words that empower me.

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  11. Keep seeking deep within, Prag, yet make sure you take time to chill, relax, incorporate what you have found. Your words are so very powerful and I not only thank you for sharing them but for the link you provided from my blog. I am deeply humbled. Bless you!! BIG (((HUGS)))!! xoxo

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  12. Extremely raw , profound, powerful and healing. An outpouring of life, twists and turns, healing and learning. The high and low.

    Every line speaks so much !

    It was hard to choose as each line expresses so much.

    I settled for this “…I am not stuck here, I am planted and blooming.
    There is pulsating power within, my container is adjusting, recalibrating for this shift….’

    I feel for myself that thus recalibration is going on right now, and it is going to happen again and again. Every few years my life is recalibrating and it us the adjustment that becomes the blooming, but sometimes it feels as I am stuck in a mess.

    Great post

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel very humbled honored and happy to read your comment, it gives me deep and complete contentment in my heart. Thank you for reading every single line with such kind attention, for sharing into my feelings of it, picking a line too in your wholesome affirmation of how this is a process of recalibration that repeats again and again. It does seem chaotic right before we are able to gather ourselves back, regroup into our being. Much Gratitude to you truly 🙏🏼💛

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