Layers Illuminated

Photo by myself

My original fear, I forever lived with it. I have spent enormous time looking at it, understanding it. Allowing healing to come.

It comes in layers and layers, tough work this is. Work of this lifetime, scraping down through the bottomless pit. Peeling, shedding, newly forming. Visible and invisible outwardly. Is healing ever done?

It became evident with clarity, it had literally been eating away at my heart, mind, body
and existence. It made me so gravely ill at times.

I am on the other side of it now, the most than ever before, if not completely. I am aware of how it works. I am now able to enjoy spaces of no words, no requirements, no neediness, no projection of outcomes. Trusting all that needs to flow through.


The choices come to me. It is what it is. Grateful for the reminder to me that I Am doing some actual work, that I Am brave.

It is so easy to often feel small compared to the robust human pursuits and accomplishments around. They are all so valid. I forget to find the same worth
in the pursuit as a seeker, to celebrate where I am. Who I am
.

Yet I do cherish and indulge in the joyful spaces of nothingness that I often land in.

Love is the way, the only way and always the way. Hate, judgement and separation only creates suffering. Our own choices that we make right here on this planet, our perspectives shape our reality. When we see the death of our perceived reality, feel the pain and rawness, experience rebirth, rise to the guidance of spirit, we then know the difference.

You become the one whose mere presence anywhere would shine the light to this truth. Doesn’t matter who sees it, they feel it and they don’t know what just made them uncomfortable. For it takes a certain journey to know it for what it is. What reality in all truth and love looks like.

I am in deep gratitude for those who really support and empower my process by showing exactly how it is done, own the light and shine it. Their words and radiance illuminate me. I am in awe of their self awareness. They model not only high positive regard towards life but also towards themselves. Give themselves a significant space in this fabric of life. They are a huge inspiration to me. I find all the escapes and excuses not to shine. To stay in the shell. Yet the force is relentless in how it pulls me out and into the Light. So I trust the process. I trust the process.

This post is a thought process that has come from my responses to some posts by Amy on her blog Heaven On Earth. The energy coming through her photography is absolutely that kind from beyond. Each and everyone of her picture is stunning, a pure glimpse of Mother Nature in all true love and glory . My words in the last paragraph are for Amy absolutely, for she has been a tremendous inspiration and support to me always.

80 thoughts on “Layers Illuminated

  1. Wow my dear friend, this is just oozing with raw beauty! I absolutely love the entire piece, especially that second paragraph. You write about healing in such a beautifully vulnerable and layered way…it deeply resonates with me. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and light with us…keep shining always πŸ–€πŸ’«πŸ€—

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much dear Ace! It is absolute joy to be read by you as I know you get the beauty and truth of this process truly. Wishing you amazing times. Look forward to visiting what I missed from you in the last few days!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are always welcome!! Awww, it is an absolute joy and honor to read you!!! You are so kind, I can’t wait for your visits too! Keep shining and sharing your bright glow πŸ–€πŸ€—

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad you are finding your way past the fear and into love. I agree that love is the way, yet I still get sidetracked with fear and doubt. Thankfully, we have nature, and friends like Amy to remind us of the beauty in the world. May you live, love, and shine.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such an inspiring post dear Pragalbha.
    I love where you said Yet I do cherish and indulge in the joyful spaces of nothingness that I often land in.I could also relate myself with this. Thank you dear for sharing the wonderful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a joy that you visited my friend πŸ™‚ your appreciation gives me such happy smiles :))) Thank you for repeating that line and reinforcing that space for me πŸ’›πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸΌ

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  4. A beautiful post, dear Pragalbha. Full of vulnerability, hope, love, pain, and transformation. I love how you write about being pulled into the light. That’s exactly so; on the road of self awareness, there comes a point where choice is made for us, and we are drawn to the light like moths. A beautiful read, lived through your words and experience, delivered straight into our hearts. β€οΈπŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

    • It feels a privilege and joy to be read by you Jeff. Your knowing words are so precious, kind and comforting πŸ™πŸΌ I agree with you, it does seem like the choice is made for us. Not heeding it, giving into conditioning or people pleasing literally brings suffering to our being. Thank you for receiving my words so heartfully, it is of great support to me πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’›βœ¨

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am glad to know this is so, thank you, my friend. Yes, indeed, suffering does occur when unheeded. Exactly so. You’re most welcome, Pragalbha. It is my pleasure, always. β€οΈπŸ™

        Liked by 1 person

  5. A Beautiful and honest expression of the challenges of facing our fears. Not easy to do. And takes great patience. Well done πŸ‘ and an important reminder it is always possible to heal. πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸ»

    Liked by 3 people

  6. A beautiful post Pragalbha and the light will always be there for you to pull you through. I’m not sure whether you’re familiar with Pema Chodron’s books – you might enjoy her writing, especially ‘Start Where You Are’ πŸ’œ

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Exquisite and marvelous post. Profound and full of wisdom and yes so nice to be inspired by Amy who is doing a wonderful job with her post. She is an inspiration for all of us. Loved the tree it was awesome. Thank you so much for motivating me with your lovely words.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am humbled and happy that you found this post meaningful πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’› That tree drew my attention during one of my recent hikes. I am very glad that you loved it too. Thank you very much for your appreciation and support kind friend, means a lot to me.

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  8. These thoughts were incredible and impactful, I honestly feel a little speechless because they touched me deeply. I could tell while I was reading this that it was written by someone very special and unique. I could relate to the part where you said it was easy to feel small. But it seems as if you’ve already found the perfect solution: celebrating where you are and who you are. It truly is one of the most powerful tools a person can have.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You my kind friend are so knowing and discerning of this process. You are special and unique and so you exactly see that in another. I feel deeply content and grateful that you found my words impactful. Your words are so thoughtful and empowering. Thank you so much, stay blessed, much Love to you always πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ’›βœ¨πŸ€—

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  9. Beautiful. Healing is certainly Layers. And will we ever be healed ? Oh yes we will ! and even it feels likes ages. Sometime is so luminating, wonderful, you can smile for days – because something clicks into place in such away – the earth has shifted, the mind and heart have shifted to a much strong place never to return to that weak place again.! for sure.

    There is so much depth to each paragraph, and the rawness felt to the heart. Healing can be long, and the layers ! I think it is beautiful. We get tired on the journey of life. But, healing journey can be so enlightening, freeing and strengthening that I am glad for it in my personal life. The conscious pains healed and the sub conscious ones appear and i am like – oh I didn’t know !

    The whole post spoke to. But if I have to pick one paragraph then it is ….”It is so easy to often feel small compared to the robust human pursuits and accomplishments around. They are all so valid. I forget to find the same worth in the pursuit as a seeker, to celebrate where I am. Who I am…” The SAME WORTH AS A SEEKER. and CELEBRATE WHO I AM. Thank GOD we are UNIQUE. And therefore we can never compare to another. We Are UNIQUE and ROBUST in our Seeker ways, in our quiet introvert ways and it is more fine and RoBUST and important. Comparison is a killer and work so hard just to stop it. It is unhelpful and stop me being me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your first paragraph is a precious powerful affirmation and assurance πŸ™ŒπŸΌ it empowers me and my trust, faith in the process. I can totally relate to all that you say and also there’s parts of me still catching up to that space of strength and healed being. There is a joy and smile for just being in the process, even if tedious in some ways.

      I agree with you, it is beautiful regardless of how sticky it can get. Yeah the deeper layers come up announced and I think – here we go again πŸ™‚

      Thank you for sharing the paragraph you liked best – our inner journeys are truly robust, there is no comparison really. Honoring our uniqueness is the most important key in this process of healing and Returning to Being.

      I am so deeply touched by your thoughtful response addressing each aspect of my post. It helps to know how we walk this together, and you always are so encouraging. Very grateful for this engagement πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’›βœ¨

      Liked by 1 person

  10. What insight and courage PD. πŸ’• Your light shines bright. We must shed those layers and come to a place of understanding acceptance and peace. From here we can share our gifts. You are a true light bearer recognizing your own light. πŸ’πŸ™πŸ’

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This post is a mix of emotions and thoughts which come and go. With the understanding of the thought process as you have rightly mentioned, we can illuminate ourselves and our life.

    “Hate, judgement and separation only creates suffering.” This is so pragmatic line.

    An eye-opening post…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so grateful for you taking the time to read and reflect back on this. Yes I agree this was a mixture of emotions that became my thought process. Thank you for reading with the felt experience and repeating that line, it is often difficult to realize our own judgements. Thank you πŸ™πŸΌ

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  12. Infinite, I love your process. I appreciate the fear that you dealt with, plodded through, and the love that entered. It is an on-going process for me. Though I know better how to deal with ‘this’ it does rear itself on occasion. I think of myself as an ebb and flow, like the ocean. Some days stronger in one way, the next, maybe stronger in another.

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  13. A gorgeous photo and the symbolism provides a perfect visual for the intro to your piece and the many layers in your reflective writing. I do not need to know what your “original fear” is to understand your wrestling with it. Fear is universal. Your willingness and courage to share your healing journey encourages others to do the same. πŸ¦‹

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel deeply glad and grateful that you see the photo for its symbolism – that tree drew my attention to it very sharply during my recent hike. I also loved your attention to my mention of ‘original fear’ and leaving at that. Truly appreciate your very thoughtful and insightful reading and sharing your thoughts. Thank You. Your words are a very kind support to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. first of all, I want to say how lovely your photograph is. I love it… it’s stunning. then you paired it with your beautiful thoughts on your healing process, it is a double treat for creatives like us. healing takes time and I adore how you honestly poured your heart out in every line here. I feel you and I feel your heart. it is as if I am seated next to you listening to your own journey. thank you so much for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I loved the idea of you sitting by me, listening to my heart for its healing story, gratefully πŸ™‚ Thank you for such thoughtful beautiful words of appreciation and for the photograph too! That tree drew my attention deeply on one of my hiking trails recently and I was happy when it came up to go with this post.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Love is the way, the only way, and always the way.

    I will never be finished learning. Fear is a teacher that helps me to learn another deeper layer of love. It is not easy. But it is powerful and that I treasure.

    You are brave. Keep stepping forward and celebrating each day you wake up.
    Ali

    Liked by 1 person

  16. The words about fear are in itself healing and illuminating beauty. I am currently in the phase where battling fear inside and outside remains the biggest challenge. It keeps coming in many forms and constantly ails through other ailments. Yet. your words empower me to help battle it all. Keep shining Pragalbha.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am truly humbled and happy that my post reaches you in a meaningful way. Fear does take unexpected forms and creates a lot of unwanted life experiences. It took me a long to access the threads of faith and self love as an antidote, and amplify it to replace the fear. Wishing you an easeful journey as you find your own way through it. Thank you very much for your very thoughtful response and kind words _()_

      Liked by 1 person

  17. The tears are stinging my eyes, Prag. Your light through your words gives me the goosebumps. You have made a major jump since last we spoke, and I am so so proud of you. I know that fear. I know the pain. I know the confusion. I know what it takes to leap out from behind a wall in order for all to see you. I am so humbled and so honored by what you wrote and not only that, you honored me by linking my last post. The words you use to describe my photography are transcendent! YOU SEE!! So many still do not and it thrills me, just thrills me, that through my images, and through my words, I have been an instrument, a tool, to enable yourself to open and be freed. What a Gift! Truly! I’m so in awe right now and there is so much left I have yet to say, but there really are no words for it. My heart is just exploding right now for you are a shining example of what can be done with what I call the ripple effect. My energy has effected and merged with yours to assist you on you journey. I could just weep for JOY!! Please let me be very clear …. all the obstacles and pain and frustration I have experienced as my own lessons have unfurled, have all been worth it to be alive at this moment to see your victory!! I wish I could hug you right now. You are such a powerfully gifted writer and you will go far in your life, if you accept your fullness of YOU.

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    • And you gifted me back those overjoyed tears with a resonant heart. For I just came here from your last post that mentions Mother’s Protection – That Is A Sign for me like only You would know what I mean – That Is A Powerful sign for me. Year after year you have unravelled the magic and miracles of this planet before me, expanding my vision and awareness while sitting on this sofa right here. I am still the same timid one but now I am differently timid like a child who knows Mother’s Protection is available and she need not fear much. I SEE only from the safety of those whom I trust, and certainly that is you. I am empowered by what you SEE in me as I truly humbly do not know – I feel I have circled back to square one. Just have to very patiently skilfully claim what is mine, claim who I am – I do that only in a flow so there is no way for me to know really. You have opened the outer world to me in such magical ways that it has moved my inner geography in ways unimagined. Your last statement is a blessing to me beyond description. I pray I do accept my fullness, it seems to be my responsibility and yet I feel very far still. truly humbled by your most profound generous words, I hope I Am the ripple and the wave that keeps flowing in to her destiny. Infinitely grateful for your presence, your journey, your Being, your energy, expression and inspiration.

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      • Now, dear friend, connect the dots. Transfer what I see in you to yourself. Go within and know that the truth of what I see is really there, just waiting for you to acknowledge it. This takes courage and a determination to face fear, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being seen as you. When someone recently told me what they see in me, I was so floored that it felt as if I was punched in the gut. I took those words and went inwardly, asking IF there is any validity to these words, show me. And this is what I got. Those words were a projection having nothing to do with me. I’m telling you this because when you embrace you for YOU, your heart will be fully open, your light very bright, and some will reject that state for it scares them. Some will react with words that actually show their own inner tumultuous state, not yours. On this journey clarity of mind is a must as we learn how to rely on our Divine Intuition on what is truth and what is not. I’ve always shown you truth. And that stands true for everyone else. This owning yourself is becoming vulnerable and open and at times that in of itself is very scary. Learning how to be ONE with Source, ONE with Mother, ONE with Self, is what our journeys are all about. Keep on track, Prag. You’ve got this. And don’t let anyone discourage you regarding what you KNOW to be true for you. BIG (((HUGS)))!!! xoxo

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        • In this moment, you have cracked me open through and through. I receive this gift of melting diffusion of my being fully, breathing and being with it. Here I am entering this transition through your words openly in this public space, bare for anyone to see. In this moment it is true. I leave it to the shift and process itself to work itself through me. It feels empowering. I am thrilled at the lack of the lurking fear and overwhelm. For Mother got this – the prayers and blessings are at work at all dimensions. This energy is so fluid and expansive. I am done blinding myself from the clarity available to me. I am done being so cautious of what it does to others in the vicinity. I feel the grief of mothering so many and then letting go. I cared for how much they needed me to need them and so became the needy one they needed me to be. I have been part of the game too trying to keep it all so comfortable, Oh God truth is not so. Such peace in being and knowing it, so much so in this moment I don’t know who I am anymore. That makes me smile, it shows me my raw beginning yet again, to get back to being who I was, am, to be. I flow in to my destiny, from this moment here now – :)))) I am in that exact spot where I have interacted with you from indoors for so many years now, immersed myself in the miracles of Mother Nature through your lens. The difference is I don’t feel stuck here, I feel planted and blooming. Thank You is what covers it and doesn’t begin to cover it, the gift that you have been for me – the revelations and truth that you carry, be and offer are grace of this lifetime.

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          • The way you write stuns me, my friend. I am empty. Finished. The words that effortlessly pour through me are no longer. You have taken the ball and run with it. When you no longer can distinguish who are who from All That Is, you know, God love you, you know, you have come in touch with your Soul. I am so thrilled, so touched, so wanting to give you a hug in person, for you are seeing your own light. You are seeing what others have been so drawn to. Yes, you are correct …. they need to do their own journey and yes hands off for you. This practice of setting healthy boundaries and having discernment as to when to say something, how to do something, or when to stay silent, that will be your next phase. As you enter this Door, you will feel a bit overwhelmed, not knowing what to do, yet know it, just by walking through that Door, your Lessons shall begin. Wow, just wow! I am humbled to the point of being tongue tied. This is how Mother uses me. This is how I flow and touch others. YOU have shown ME a glimpse of my future, whether you realize it or not. I’ve been getting clues and signs and despite my life’s structures the way it is, I know in my heart, my future is taken care of. Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart for feeling the Great Power of Mother through me. Your life will be changed forever. HUGE HUGS!!! xoxoxoxo

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            • A Moved Heart, Deep no tears eyes feeling tears, I feel you, your hug. I wanted the same, to be in person right now and yet this is much greater than that, pure energy transmission through pure intent, our heart. This is Triuth, This is Love. I hear you on my next phase – absolute skill in silence or speech, yes nodding. As I read again, now I have real wet tears – for the mirror I could be to you, humbly so. For your emphatic – your life will be changed forever – I am stunned and moved, yet deeply receiving it. I am ready. Whatever that means. There is pulsating power within, my container is adjusting, recaliberating for this shift. I am reminding myself these sensations are not pain they are sensations of divine rearrangement of energy itself, tangible and intangible. This process is going to stay alive for some while, I will stay present and silent. What Gift, Grace, Gratitude. Much Love and the embrace of Mother to us both so we hold this unfolding in utmost reverence. Bowing in prayer _()_

              Liked by 1 person

  18. love the ambling thought process in this post and your constant gratitude and open humbleness. We often fear “seeking” is not enough because it can’t be measured, seen or touched … and it’s only salary is our own progress.

    The rapport between you and AmyRose is delightful and I love her bright cheery flowers but I equally love the textured bark on this tree peeling yet another layer πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Great reminder to be diligent to celebrate our journey especially when we seem to be falling behind because our progress doesn’t grab the attention of the pursuit of success in the material world.

    But essential to keep going and without a doubt it’s the ultimate β€œprize”❣️❣️❀️❀️

    Great post β€οΈπŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Pingback: Of Becoming Myself | Infinite Living

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