Being with Myself

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Being with Myself

Photo & Quote by myself

I was so conditioned
to not being
comfortable
with myself
But then most company
did not give me
the contentment
that I can now
find on my own

 

Note: This is the longest I have gone without posting and I am not on a break from this blog space. I have grown more silent in my heart and mind than ever before. I am enjoying and appreciating the spaces in between everything than ever before. I found myself engaged in some rich experiences & ordinary yet special moments in those spaces. Genuine connection with family, people, nature and self happens in life when we allow these spaces. 

I did hit upon phases where I encountered some layers within, of unworthiness and self-judgment for how productive and creative I could be with my life. I appreciate the space that I could create between myself and those painful thoughts. I can let them pass through me. That is how I find another layer underneath, of peace & contentment.

 

This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that models forgiving and self-acceptance as a practice.

118 thoughts on “Being with Myself”

  1. Love the image and the words.
    I can’t believe you were ever like that. You are a beacon of positivity and a glowing example for so many. May you always bask in the personal light that iluminates your heart and all those around you. Wishing all the best to you and yours.

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  2. As usual, I can relate to what you write, as I experience this from the inside, even as I am “taking a break.” I think I am. 🙂 Lots of welcome time alone and not alone. How beautiful the way you share yourself, and your deeper layers, and how you discover more and more of what is so lovable about you. Thank you 🙏🏽

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  6. Pragalbha, what a profound expression of your growth! I acknowledge you for taking space to pause and be still, and work with self-judgments that came up for you. It is a powerful practice that you did and demonstrates self-love beautifully. 💜

    Thank you for sharing this for #forgivingfridays! I’l be posting in the next week or two and will surely include this. Blessings to you.
    Love and Light
    Debbie

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  8. Nurture yourself first and then you can offer care to the world. Agreed with what you express here very much. Welcome back and at the same time, I wish you a very happy and very deep reflection on the level that brings you healing.

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  9. This resonates deeply … I have had years of solitary alone time and ensure that I get some each day

    I have had the huge honor of meeting Rev Heng Sure in person on the Gold Coast, he is indeed impressive so I appreciated the link to his bowing pilgrimage … thanks!

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  10. I have missed your words…your time away sounds like it was filled with rich experiences and illuminating inner thoughts…your lovely words are indeed very peaceful and echo my own leaps into spending more time with myself…I read my local newspapers to cut out information on upcoming exhibits and festivals to experience on my own, I try to attend on or two events every month and these solo excursions often find their way into my posts!

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    • True. As much as I have come to value solitude, I still deal with a lot of unkindness towards myself 🙂 It does indeed provide solace and comfort as we allow the process. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

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  14. Beautiful. The Souls original quality is peace. The soul world is full of peace. Peace and silence heal, and mist definately break through the many layers of pain in silence.

    I understand this post and relate. Sometimes i just want to be silent. Much healing and transformation happens then.

    Enjoy your inner journey.

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  17. Hi Pragalbha, it really has been long since you have posted, but I am so glad to read one of your posts which are always filled with wise, peaceful words, giving and sharing the kind of contentment that you must be experiencing.

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  18. I’m not sure where I am right now on my Journey but this I do know. My soul in yearning for Silence, for Beauty, and Love. I haven’t been blogging a lot either, Prag. My next post will explain a little more as to why. I seem to be at a crossroads here ….. And I will find the answers with my own company. Celebrate those in-between moments. And as you do, know you have found LIFE in ways never before seen. Bless you, dear friend!! This post spoke so clearly to me. I know exactly what you are experiencing. XOXO

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  19. Profoundnes , tinge of philosophy , a quest to discover the self … all bundled in the lovely write Pragalbha!
    The conditioned mind , soaked in materialistic happiness, ephemeral though & sensual pleasures … was not expected to assure solace & comtentment as the conditioning is based on the principle of expectations from all around !
    Knowing that the conditioned mind addicted to seek comforts , many transitory though , will not give the coveted comforts is in itself an elevated realization !
    To derive that flavour of fullness, equanimity, poise & delve into a world of searching the new YOU or
    more YOU , contended YOU , precious time with the self , searching the serenity inside, all alone, is nothing but a rich investment!

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    • I thoroughly enjoyed reading your deeply thoughtful comment. So true how the external sources of contentment are bound by expectations and the wholeness & fullness of that can be cultivated within – revealing new layers of our authentic being – it is a rich investment surely for what it gives back. Thank you so much for taking the time and your kind appreciation.

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  20. Though we all need other people, it’s one of the most important lessons in life to be comfortable with being alone. I have also encountered feelings of unworthiness for not being as productive or creative as I think I should be; I’m working on accepting the ebb and flow of inspiration.
    May you continue to find peace and contentment in the spaces between everything, Pragalbha.

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  22. Pingback: The Listener | flashlight batteries – poetry

    • I used to feel that if I am alone then I am ‘left’ alone. I needed to become better and I needed to have company. I still have more layers of skillful solitude to learn I am sure but I am content with where I am 🙂 I am so happy you visited Shelly and thank you for your thoughts.

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  25. You are far from alone in these moments of wanting space and silence dear Pragalbha, In fact I only said to Amy our mutual blogging friend, I had been thinking of closing my blog down as I too had come to a crossroads.. Not wanting to even interact with my blog, just shut off zone out and BE!..
    I will try in a future post to explain my feelings, in the meantime I added an old poem..
    I think those of us at a certain ‘Stage’ in our progression here on Earth are feeling certain vibrations and listening more intently now to our inner voices..
    I know from Amy’s past and my own, that we have for so long been at the beck and call of others in the world, and made to feel our unworthiness through our past, often stemming back into childhood..
    We have now come to that phase of truly delving deeper into ourselves, peeling back those hidden layers, often those silent spaces help clear yet another blockage that has caused us to doubt ourselves..
    It is now as if we have given ourselves permission to be, to do, and please ourselves. And not feel obligated by the guilt we often feel if we feel we are letting others down..

    Were it not for a couple of bloggers recent comments and one who emailed me saying how much my blog had helped her.. I think I may well have not returned..
    Yet there is so much i wish to share, and at the same time I do not wish to upset people as waking up to the truth often reveals things we would sooner not face..

    But you know me dear Pragalbha, I trust the flow, the same as you are doing.. And I know it will all work out as it is meant to one way or another..
    Thank you for this post my friend for your honest reflection of Being with yourself..

    Much love and Blessings your way..
    Sue 💙💜💚

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    • Dearest Sue, you are one blogger friend here from whom I have learned so much safety in taking these spaces, in finding permission to follow a path that seems to divert from where I am headed. You have truly modeled that well for me, I am finding more trust in myself.
      What you wish to share, I can’t imagine if it would upset anyone, I do understand though how truth can stir and churn someone’s version of reality. I trust that you will bring it with all the compassion you have.
      I truly too honor your urge to move away and inward – what you cultivate inward will still reach the planet and the citizens, us. I am still not ready to move away from this space and I admit that if you and Amy are not here – it will not be the same for me. I receive from and value a lot when you are here, as much as how much you teach me with you gone for a while. I so relate to the giving to others expectations and the deeply afflicted unworthiness.
      So I happily honor your flow and choices. I await your sharing if and when it comes 🙂

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      • What beautiful warmth you have shared with me here within your words my friend. Thank you so very much.
        I am still pondering upon how best to serve up that truth. But I know I will be guided.
        That space you speak of, is what I crave. Maybe it’s not from the separation of me and blogland, but more from the knowledge of what I have come to know. I have known things for many years, but I also know deep inside we now have to delve deeper into self than ever before.
        For me personally, I feel I have to clear out and realign my soul! Does this make sense?. I have been told via several sources and have come to understand that this is my last earth incarnation. I believe this is true now for many of us here at this time.
        While wishing to help others see what I see, I know at the end of the day all we can do is help ourselves. But in doing so, by our very thoughts we send out, we are also helping the world.
        Much love and gratitude dear Pragalhba 🌈💖🌈🤗☺️

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        • What you say makes sense to me …perhaps I am only understanding how I relate to it. I totally get it about the space from what we know. I think I have created a space from my inner knowing to be able to find ways of living a relatable life. My blog name is Infinite Living – I haven’t even begun sharing why and how I mean it – those are some truths that I have yet to find guidance on how and when to express. Until now I have been masking or expressing whatever layers that wouldn’t stay contained within. I am now finding the need to tune in and focus on what intentions arise and what is waiting to unfold/move through. A lot more work in grounding and at the same time owning the expansiveness of my being, is needed. Without the focus I am getting very overwhelmed and/or drained. Now I hope I am making sense to you 🙂
          I love what you said in the last paragraph.
          So grateful to have you here in conversation!

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  27. But then most company
    did not give me
    the contentment
    that I can now
    find on my own

    These words❤ beautiful.
    Solitude is the most enjoyable company one can find themselves in. I used to to so unkind to mysel because of my then company. But I’ve learned that enjoying my company means that I’m content with myself and comfortable to be with my thoughts… if that makes sense.

    Wishing you more joyful with your amazing solitude 🌹🌹

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  29. Pingback: Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Self-Forgiveness is Self=Liberation! – ForgivingConnects

  31. I resonate with the post and the post script too ……..Lately I get these bouts of questioning myself …my creativity and also my beliefs but thankfully push them away and wake up to a new day

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  32. I think it is only when we consciously start breaking the shells of years of conditioning, one by one, that we begin to discover what really lies beneath…and the process of discovering that hidden self which for so long was lost without a voice, is a deeply internal process. It starts with a conflict between the old conditioned self, and the being that for so long was kept behind the curtains and now seeks to emerge…and culminates with a unification of both, where the true self emerges as combination of the best of both.

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  35. Those lines are how I feel most days. And there’s nothing wrong in lapsing in yourself. We find quiet and peace within us as well as reflection. Glad you’re enjoying it and getting something positive out of this experience, Ma’am 🙂

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  38. “I have grown more silent in my heart and mind than ever before. I am enjoying and appreciating the spaces in between everything than ever before.” Oh, how I can relate to these sentiments …. not that I have inner silence, for my evening mind hums and churns but the writing comes in abbreviated episodes and there is no pressure to complete a blog post at all. Life is such a precious and varied journey …. xo

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    • And how soothingly precious to read this back from you. I feel the same – my mind doesn’t get silent much but the no pressure slow spaces feel like silence. You just made this more solid in my being. I agree – so varied, so precious …your visit and words fill my heart with joy 🙂

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  40. I’m smiling…. Nodding…. Loving…. Being…. along with you.
    Thank you for this post and the conversations PD 💕
    When we seekers find what is already there, acceptance and contentment come, yet a part of us still questions it!
    Trust in yourself and where you are. Trust there will be a next step, and then an other on this different path. We are not alone.
    I think that’s why I keep blogging, even when there doesn’t seem much to say 💛

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    • Your words are a beautiful shade of comfort and support to me Val. I have the subtlest smile that goes deep in my heart as I read your comment. I appreciated your last statement – helps me keep going, indeed there isn’t much to say in words that can justify the glory and grandeur of being here on this planet. Thank you.

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  42. Pragalbha, I genuinely missed your dose of beautiful positive thoughts in the blog space. I understand your need for some space for absolute “me time “filled with retrospection,reflection, pondering and resolve. You are to many a beacon of light spreading sunshine here. Wishing you lots of smiles and happiness!

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    • Just This Radhika, the loving kind words like yours keep me anchored in this blog space. My heart always leads me back here, whether I post or not, visiting all your works and being in communication brings me so much joy. Thank you for your appreciation and understanding for me 💛

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  44. Pingback: Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Holding My Hand Through Hard News – ForgivingConnects

  45. Welcome back after “the writers block” with more energy and refreshment. A beautiful creation indeed welcoming yourself after being away from blogging. Very nice creation indeed. I liked the way you have portrayed contentment which is necessary in life. Hope to read your upcoming posts… Happy blogging… 🙂

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