How Long?

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Trust & Lies

Photo Credit: Vikram Phale “Wildfire Sunset in Yosemite”

When we Trust, what is it that we really Trust? Is Trust about someone other to be a certain way forever? Is it really Trust if it is dependent on some other’s choice?

Maybe Trust is just about the Knowing that it all works out right. Maybe Trust is about the ability to let go, knowing if it is meant to be, it will Be.

When we Lie to someone else, if ever, is it that we lie only to them? Is Lying anything about keeping the Truth to ourselves? Is it really Lying, if we are oblivious of Truth?

Maybe Lies is just what we believe or base our choices on, for comfort. Maybe we live the Lies that feel like they give us the ability to keep going.

Question is – How Long?

 

P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays on ForgivingConnects – a blog by Debbie Roth that empowers through forgiveness and acceptance.

91 thoughts on “How Long?”

  3. Most definately a hard one. I think the answer is wisdom and experience. I too trust at first. But, then if one experiences lies, not just once , the one must switch modes into wisdom and experience of that person and still wish them well, or a negative karmic bondage is created. So keep trusting, but around certain people or even all people be wise not naive .. see the scene as it and kerp our peace by dont getting disturbed. Because we know better, and this persom hasnt done this to us the first time, they cant help them selves , they dont have the wisdom or understanding of what they do, if they did they wouldnt do it. Forgive them and let go daily and then pain we feel will be lifted. Honestly it will be. My self mastery series in June had letting go exercise and they just help in this situation. Change happens with me , we cant expect them to change. It is hard but not impossible to do.. when you do then you become free always, even if they dont change.. but with doing this we break ant negative karmic account that exists and we dont create more negative karmic bondage.

    Sorry for long response..great post always. Just thought my immediate thoughts ..
    Hugs

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    • You have teased out all the entangled threads of understanding on this topic so well! I loved how you translated Trust and Lies into how it relates to us in our everyday life. I agree – not useful to expect others to change. Use every experience to allow wisdom to become part of us. So we can keep going with only Love in our heart, no negativity. Each one of us is on a unique journey.

      I appreciate you sharing all your thoughts, the length doesn’t bother me 🙂 Thank you for taking the time.

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  5. Such a provocative piece of writing for my near midnight mind frame. It’s always a pleasure to walk in, sit at your table and be served some philosophical Pragalbha ruminations at any time of the day.
    Trust and lies and human behaviour does fascinate me. In particular the soft lies: the ones told not to hurt another’s feelings, or to not “rock the boat”.
    The considerate husband telling his flustered wife that dinner tastes good … perhaps she too knows that he is conveying his appreciation for her effort rather than intentionally lying.
    The lies that hurt are the ones we could do happily without…
    Much love dear lady x

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    • Yo give me such happiness with the portrayal of you walking in and as if sitting with me …chatting about Trust and Lies mean to us 🙂 You open up the soft and gentle side of Lies …the ones that seem to come from Love. You have such a beautiful heart, to be able to find that.
      Most Lies have ended up feeling hurtful to me …
      Much Love and Gratitude my friend.

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  7. Trusting one’s self may be easiest for some, and most difficult for others. Putting all of your trust in someone else above yourself I think speaks of insecurity and fear. When we lie? I think there are many reasons for lying, but when we ‘know’ we are lying it is more than just a lie, it’s about our character as well. There is SO much to contemplate with your post!!!

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  8. I have heard a saying in my language,”Ellaam Maayaa Jagath Mithya” which means everything is an illusion and the world is a lie. Well I think it is a miraculous lie!!!!
    How long may be I don’t know. But since when??? That can be answered I guess. We have been trained to trust from the day we are born. So I guess as long as the world exists we will keep on trusting ourselves and everything… even the lies!!!!! Just my perception hope it makes sense….

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  9. Though at the higher level of the ‘self’, trust, respect and love are said to exist and flow out of the source irrespective of the level of reciprocation or who the recipient is…however, I often wonder if in this transactional world, either of the three can exist for very long unless there is some level of reciprocation from the other, specially in relationships of any/all kinds…

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    • I think we learn to reach the higher levels of trust from our repetitive experiences with relationships …all of them hit human limitation in one way or another. We learn then that it never works if we are dependent on other person’s reciprocation or not, for our peace. Anything we give others should be given to ourselves first – trust our own knowing, respect for our needs, love for self nourishment – so we are not completely dependent on any other. To me personally, this learning has come through deeply hurtful experiences from those who were in the role of authority over me and whom I trusted blindly. Changed the whole idea of Trust and Respect for me. I can respect only that which I can trust and I take the time to be able to choose to Love in my heart regardless of everything, and gratitude for the experience of making me stronger in Self Trust.
      Sorry I went on long 🙂 I greatly appreciated your comment. It opened up a lot in me. Thank you VS.

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      • Your reply caught me in a moment of contemplation…yes my highest level of trust was broken too….maybe unexpectedly, or maybe against the norms of the relationship…and I have also experienced ‘trust’ being held to the highest level where no relationship or expectation existed. I now see it as an inherent quality which either exists in a person, or it does not. The superficial connects are just an excuse….these values with regard to trust, respect and love…. either exist as an inherent part, and if they don’t, sooner or later the pretenses or the masks fall off.

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  10. Pragalbha, this is a beautiful inquiry on trust. I love that … simply allowing yourself to be with the experience and learning what your knowing has for you. ❤ I'm definitely adding this to my #ForgivingFridays post. One of the things I know is that when I forgive myself, I build trust in myself. 🙂 Blessings to you in all ways, Pragalbha. ~Love, Debbie

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  11. Lies hurt but teach you valuable life lessons too. I used to be hurt deeply when someone close lied to me… still do…but you can’t really control how others behave. We just can try to control how we behave and respond. Thought provoking piece as always!!

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  13. Pingback: Today’s Forgiving Fridays: I’m moving and HAPPINESS! – ForgivingConnects

  16. pragalbha, you write as if you could read my soul and I thank you infinitely for this!
    Confidence, lies, continue to trust, self-deception …
    I wonder who is “I” and who is “you” in this poem … maybe everyone is “I” and everyone “you” … well facts are facts and I get annoyed when somebody wants to twist the facts and make me think of an x ​​for u.
    But: all people want trust, all people have fears. Some more and some less.
    I trust people and believe in people. I do not want to believe, that things meant to be, will Be. If life is not about active choice, learning and self-determination, life makes no sense to me. I cannot beliefe that we are just a puppet theater of god. No I am certain, that the demand on human is much more higher! If everything is predestined, I need not go to doctor for early detection of cancer for example. That’s stupidity in my opinion.
    No, everyone can influence their happiness and hope is important and trust to people as well.
    If this trust is misused we will be very hurt and put to the test.
    And lies, white lies to protect themselves? Alone, if we ask ourselves this question, whether it is bad or if it is a lie, then it is already bad enough that we worry.
    Every human being must know for himself what is good and evil. How his morality is, how he can live with his behavior. Only your own rating counts whether we are happy or not. Because even if other people rate us, this rating touches us only in so far as we evaluate them again for us.
    In that sense, we should all be much more searching for ourselves on our own path and stopping to listen to the whole chatter of others. Also, we should stop trying to improve others and always seek the mistakes in the others. Of course there will continue to be idiots who make life difficult for us. In this case, I pray that I will be spared the idiots! Important is trust in ourself and others, and if you want something very hard you have to go on and be honest with people.

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    • I wonder who is “I” and who is “you” in this poem … maybe everyone is “I” and everyone “you” – I so absolutely loved what you said here Anie!!! I had pondered when I wrote this piece about the same – who am I referring to? At a perspective beyond our regular human mind we all become one. Our trust has to keep rising above our limitations and as the truth keeps getting uncovered, our beliefs change and so many lies we live with become evident. Trusting people is about trusting their intentions towards us and at the same time not ever 100percent depending on them at the cost of listening to our own inner guidance – it never leads to joy or peace. Yes, misused trust is a great hurt, as you say. I also agree with you that active choice and awareness that comes through that is a very important and necessary aspect of life. After making the choice for what is right, I think it is important to surrender for things to fall in place as they will. Both work together for a fulfilling life.
      I so deeply truly appreciate your most wonderful thoughtful response Anie …it was utmost happiness to converse on this topic with such clarity and details that you bring. Thank you very much!

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      • Dear Pragalbha, thank you for your wonderful words. I think very much in details, probably often too much, so I get lost in my thoughts. Unfortunately, I can not yet determine clarity in my thoughts. The thought of judging from a perspective beyond our normal human mind is still relatively new to me, though I recognize the truth in it.
        The question who is “I” and who is “you”, is here and now, trying to understand my very selfish personal interpersonal issues.
        My problems are not just understanding because os the foreign language. It is the fact that I always walk myself back and forth between the “I” person and the “you” person. When it comes to “abused trust” or “painful lies”, we always hear only voices telling how pain has been inflicted on them and how their trust has been broken. No one registers how he inflicts pain on others, usually in the same way.
        Sometimes life can be very twisted.
        It’s easy to rant about releasing steam and finding a (selfish) solution for yourself, but it’s damn painful to realize that you do not just suffer because you’re a victim, but because we’re all perpetrators too. And with everything that I preach, what I proclaim to the people of the world, I do not ameliorate situations. Because people search justification in their pain and never give up their ego. Vanity is probably our original sin. We nurture them, justify our anger and develop an arrogance because we think that only we can see things right. In principle, we should say every morning that we are aware that our knowledge is small and insignificant.

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    • True Moushmi, it might just be that it will never be the same, once trust is broken and the hurt is deep. It leads us to understand trust in ourselves with clarity though.
      Yes that question of how long lingers loud in me.
      Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

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      • That is why the yogis say that we should surround ourself only with “positive” people and avoid negative people and things, right?
        Sometimes, however, we are bound to some people in a very wondrous way and we wonder what is so painful about this person or relationship with this person and why we can not let go. Here trust in ourself and in the other person and in a higher meaning takes a completely different meaning.

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  18. Wow! Lovely heart expressions. Thanks for understanding and patience, as I don’t get to blogs very often, and I appreciate your comment on mine! I’ve come to visit and see you are also asking questions…. so beautiful…. the questions are seeped with beauty.

    This resonated the most, “Maybe Trust is just about the Knowing that it all works out right. Maybe Trust is about the ability to let go, knowing if it is meant to be, it will Be.”

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  20. I have missed your poetry! Admittedly, I have been terrible at taking the time to go through blog posts recently. I’ve started a new job, and struggling to find balance. This post though, it brings so much food for thought!!
    I do believe that everytime we lie to someone else, we either confirm to ourselves that we are not entirely truthful, or we directly lie to ourselves as well. I think trust is about the ability to let go. It has a lot to do with finding freedom in yourself and making peace with the fact that life is incredibly full of unknown, however much we try to create stability.
    I have to say, I also love the picture you have used on this post. It beautifully says, we shouldn’t let other people’s inability to be truthful, affect how true and trustworthy we choose to be. Thank you for this wonderful post! 🙂

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    • Thank you my friend, I totally understand, as I too am struggling to find the balance in the day with my presence on the blog, am posting less often and not able to go into in-depth comments on other’s blog.
      I truly appreciate you taking the time on this post. Every single statement you say feels absolutely perfect to me. When I wrote this post I was actually overwhelmed with too many thoughts on this and comments like yours helped me sort and feel clear in my mind. Your second paragraph is just so perfectly said.
      I am happy you liked my picture quote 🙂 I am loving creating them.

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  21. Liars live in fear not able to face their own truths. I am very strong on living truth yet at times it becomes so difficult to do! There are times when a “lie” from me is better then the truth because the person I am facing is NOT ready to hear truth. I somehow don’t consider that a “lie” so to speak. It is my way of knowing when to speak Truth and when not to based on where the other person is at. Most times I just stay quiet. GREAT post, dear friend. 💞

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  22. You raise such important points that are good reminders for me: 1) Trust means letting go, knowing if it is meant to be it will be. (This is so important.) 2) We are often prone to believe lies that help us keep going in some way or give us something. Thanks, P, for your continual wisdom.

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  25. Hi Pragalbha – I’m going to share this post again this week for #ForgivingFridays. Your focus on trust, and to let go into something better, is SO incredible and transformative. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom with me. It is an honor to read.
    Love, Debbie

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  29. Wonderfully dissecting the truth of Trust. We who now trust the process, often now seeing through the lies. But then again what is truth..
    Once upon a time Science thought it was the Truth that the world was flat. and we would fall off the edge if we went beyond the horizon..

    Now we travel into space, and look back upon our planet.. Yet there are still those who think the earth is flat. All based upon belief systems and that which we are taught.
    Truth is only as far as we are able to Perceive, for our perception will change and those lies like you say some believe as their truth we begin to see the cracks.

    Who to trust? We trust by our own awareness, by the knowledge we have gathered and allowed ourselves to believe., be it a person, the state of our world or our religions. All is based on trusting that which is truth is true? When it may well be all lies.. 🙂
    It opens up many doors in Pandora’s box of tricks.. For we often lie to ourselves too.. So we don’t have to wake up and Trust that what we have believed is in fact based on lies.. Because to acknowledge such means we have been duped, deceived and we fell for it..

    And around and around we can go… Each of us has to learn to trust our instincts, they too have been tampered with… But we all have to start somewhere…

    Trusting you have had a wonderful week so far Pragalbha..
    Much love and thank you for making my brain work this afternoon, Big hugs my friend
    Sue ❤

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    • I am just so tremendously grateful dear Sue!! Your comment is such abundance of wisdom and I truly appreciate the generosity of the time taken by you. This topic of Trust is so deep, profound and expansive. I can relate to every single thing you say here. Trust is what we discover on our quest for truth …that which we can rely on …we are always seeking it, initially struggling to find it. I have read your comment thrice and the clarity of it is amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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      • You are welcome.. Do not thank Me.. often I answer comments intuitively.. Something greater than I speaks wisdom.. And often I am in awe of what I have written.. We are both guided in magnificent ways.. ❤ Huge HUGS to you dearest friend.. Have a beautiful Sunday.. I am just writing up what was given me last evening.. and hope it makes some sense to those who are open enough to understand.. To be published soon.. LOVE and LIGHT always.. ❤ ❤

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  30. This is perfect. It takes a lot of time to build trust and breaking that is not feasible. In my opinion, breaking the trust is one of the obscene things a person does.
    It’s always a pleasure to read your work. Fantastic creation. 👏👏👍

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    • People who interact openly and positively do not break the trust of people who are important to them and this certainty is also a kind of trust. Namely a trust in oneself and in our own lovable human being. There are at most misunderstandings, which can be solved by a simple direct conversation. Relationships are poisoned only by a lack of clear communication, distrust, fear or by truly malignant people.

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      • lying and trusting a complex theme! I think trusting is always something which comes from our inside…it is always a trust in ourself….because if I decide to trust someone, I decide this because I evaluate the situation and this special person with my heart and my brain….I believe in this person, so I trust!!!!! This is different from dreaming…dreaming is knowing that something will not come true, trusting is believing that it can come true…and believing in this means trusting in my own rating.
        Of course truth and lies are not at all to define….we never can know the real truth…BUT we need a common truth to communicate, to live together and to trust….even if this common truth maybe very subjective, we will need it as a scale, otherwise, we can not live a life in a community. We know exactly, what it mean to others when we promise something or say something and what we provoke. To let other people guess and hide behind vage declarations is calculating and worse as lies.

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