
Photo Credit: Manish Doshi “New Day begins on Kauai”
In the recent days I have had probably one less than someteen conversations regarding relationships while being true to yourself.
There comes a time in the path of personal transformation when you question every single one of your choices that you seemed to comfortably live with until now.
My simple message is don’t blow up your life and relations entirely in your minds. Stay steadfast in making choices that work for you. Take responsibility for those choices. Give others involved, space to catch up with your new choices. Do it with love for yourself and gratitude for anything that relation has given you until now.Β This is Yoga of Relationships. With yourself and others. It is a skill developed to continually attain a state of balance, in our day to day life and interactions.
“Don’t Blow Up your Life!” – Chase Bossart, Yoga Therapist
This is important for long time committed relations. Your new found realizations of right or wrong about the relation are yours to resolve. Unless you are choosing to walk out of the relation, your reasons to stay are part of your gratitude and not your limitation in life. If you are receiving something, anything from the relation, then be willing to contribute to the relation. The contribution would be, you going for the change you seek while allowing space for others to be themselves. Keep asking for the truth in your relationship while you keep going for your own truth. Give up the blame, shame, game and the fight.
Go for your own joy while giving others the space to be shaken a bit, or a lot. Hold them in the space of Love. When possible hold them a bit tighter in love. You can do this in your mind, if you don’t actually hug.
This becomes easy only when you are being courageous to choose your own joy and wellness. You don’t need to turn it into a you versus me battle. Carve out small ways of being yourself. Shop for yourself, open your hair, put on make up, cut back on make up, take powerful life decisions to bring change, do what it takes – small and big. Show up beaming with joy, or choose contentment, just for making a different choice.
Begin to imagine how you would like things to be. Then inch by inch, even millimeter by millimeter, start making different choices. If you are confident of making a mile of a change, go ahead do it!
Have kindness for all involved, including yourself. Do things differently than habitual, be bold, convey your truth. Give it time. Keep steady in choosing what makes you happy. Hatred in your heart will not make you happy. Forgive in the name of human limitation. It is a choice for your own peace. Break your own limitation on this. Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger. It is something that helps accepting what Is, wholly, and then changing it!
P.S. This post is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects, a wonderful blog by dear Debbie Roth.
Wow powerful.
What comes to mind, is that, when one is angry, in pain, or hurt, one must nit take any decisions because it will be wrong and a reaction rather than a response. And as you said it will blow up π£
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Thank you for this amazing response dear friend π Very true emotions never serve well that way!
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Here I agree with you. Holding each other in love and giving them chance and time to catch up with our new shift is necessary. Otherwise being harsh and judgemental we could harm relationships. And it applies to all relations. Most of all the one we have with ourselves.
Profound wisdom Pragal. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts.
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I am so happy to have your meaningful reflection Meenakshi! Yes the most harm we cause through harsh judgments is to ourselves. Thank you very much for empowering me with your support and agreement.
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Infact you did the job of empowering my mind with this thought. Now I could see it was me all the time who was abusing myself without even knowing the truth.
Thank you for opening my eyes.
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You made me smile with a happy heart π Thank you for saying this.
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I adore your poetry but I loved reading this piece. Very powerful writing. There is always a point in personal transformations when you stop to question if you are doing what you should. I’m not in a long-term relationship now but I agree with all the points you made.
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I am so happy that you see my perspective and agree too π Your support empowers my thinking, thank you very much for your thoughtful reflection dear Laura.
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This is a great piece PD. I really liked it. Relationships take work. If you have loved someone enough to be in a relationship, sometimes you have to explore and work through things to find that love anew. Hate in the heart only hurts you. In this exploration sometime a hug is a good place to start. It lets your partner know that you desire this exploration. Have a wonderful day PD.
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Thank you very much for your time and appreciation, it means a lot to me! Yes very true, relationships take work. Wish you too an amazing day ahead.
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Inner shift is a powerful thing. It can be like a runaway locomotive, or the action of waves reshaping a beach.
Relationships are dynamic amongst shift. People shift at different times, into different gears. Some struggle to keep up, while others move on ahead.
The rubbing of shoulders is a good thing, because it makes us consider possibilities in life that we otherwise might not have.
If we, amongst all this commotion, can manage a way to hold together the many relationships we hold, we are blessed with wisdom far above that of the common wayfarer.
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That is a very beautiful and powerful response! Yes so true that shifts happen for every aware individual and at different times. Thank you very much for your thoughtful words that empower and affirm my view.
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Beautifully said! Your words are very powerful. Regardless of the type of relationship, we must do our best to equally contribute to it and look at all of the positives that come out of maintaining solid and healthy relationships. And I couldn’t agree with you more on that sometimes small acts help us move closer towards being our true, happiest selves. Xx
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Your words in agreement make me very happy π Thank you very much for taking the time for sharing your thoughts.
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Great post Pragalbha! Nothing should be taken for granted. Neither relationships nor ourselves.
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I loved how you interpreted this! Yes, none should be taken for granted. Thank you very much for this beautiful thought.
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Thank you so much for this very powerful, insightful and thought-provoking post!
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I feel very happy to know you think so! Thank you very much.
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My pleasure!
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Such clarity here Infinite. Your last paragraph I reread for it’s beautiful summation. I could read that every single day.
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That means a lot coming from you! π I am very happy and humbled. Thank you very much.
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You are very welcome. π
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This jumped out at me: “Love is not dramatic or romantic sometimes. It is way bigger.” It’s not the way Hollywood (or Bollywood) presents it to be.
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Exactly! You reflected the point perfectly – Bollywood/Hollywood has a lot to do with the perception or misperception of love. Thank you very much dear friend π
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You’re very welcome, Pragal. π
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Wow! Pragalbha, I am so touched by your wisdom here. You give so many keys on how to be in relationship and make loving, supportive choices for yourself…and hold them in an exquisite space of loving. This is a gift. I am honored to share this post for #ForgivingFridays and and grateful for your contribution! Many blessings and love — Debbie
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Your beautiful and deep interpretation of my words make me smile from my heart Debbie. I can’t thank you enough for always doing that for me π Thank you for your love, blessings and being my friend here.
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A very beautiful piece of note. Loved it.
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I am very happy you think so. Thank you very much!
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πππ
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beautiful picture and beautiful message!
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Thank you very much for your kind attention.
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Pingback: Today’s Forgiving Fridays: So Much Gratitude & Forgiveness :) – ForgivingConnects
Timely indeed. No matter what type of relationship you’re in as long as you hold space for them, be in your truth and speak with kindness is a gift for both parties. xo
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You have summarized my message perfectly! Thank you very much for taking the time thoughtfully.
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I can not thank you enough for putting this work up.
So much intensity!
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You are very thoughtful my friend. Thank you very much!
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Dear Pragalbha, how wise you are my friend. Being true to ourselves is indeed something we all should be.. Yet so often we neglect to choose self, and then complain about it when others take advantage.. π
Putting Self first and choosing certain pathways which may conflict with others ideas is often hard for us to negotiate, for we fear rejection..
You have outlined here perfectly how to be true to yourself, while respecting others and their reactions which may often flare in tempers in our direction when our choices do not include them.
To hold them in love and to send love in difficult circumstances is a sign of a Enlightened Spirit.
Many thanks for your insights dear Pragalbha I know your choices will be the right ones for you, because you have given then deep thought about the direction in which your decisions will impact..
Love and Light my friend.. Have a peaceful weekend and a beautiful 2018 xxx β€
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Such peace and contentment it is to read your thoughtful response. You read my lines deeply and perfectly, this empowers and supports me. Very true that fear of rejection and emotional intensity from others can keep us locked in places we wouldn’t truly choose. Thank you very much for generously taking the time. Wish you an amazing time ahead!
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Likewise dear Pragalbha.. Have a wonderful week.. xxxx β€ Hugs
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Wise words PD. As yogis we must learn to hold space for ourselves and others, no matter where they are on the spiritual path. π
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True, It is a continual cultivation just like our yoga practice. Thank you very much for your thoughtful reflection.
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Another one of your posts that spoke directly to me, dear friend. I made some huge decisions in the relationship department, letting go with grace and with Love. They were no longer fitting in my life and I was not willing to bring “heavy” into my personal space. With those decisions, the relationships remaining in my life bloomed and changed in ways that astonished me. Life. What a truly spectacular Journey it is! When we practice self-Love the Journey really does become magical! Much Love to you, Pragalbha! πππ
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And your beautiful reflection back on my post speaks to me directly in perfect words. My initial reaction to this process of letting go of some relationships from the clutches of my emotional paradigm was that of mourning over the transition from what is. Then it evolved into peace for all involved eventually. True, what remains keeps astonishing me. I am also a bit adamant about not letting go some chosen relations yet maintaining the space required to be myself …that is where the most skill gets used. Thank you so much dear Amy for being a part of this magic and the affirmations that you bring to me.
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Good readβ
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I am glad you think so, thank you.
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This is a very well written article, it is a good read so I am going to reblog it for you.
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Thank you very much for your kindness.
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Reblogged this on Truth Troubles.
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Thank you.
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lovely read. I came across this post via Truth Troubles that reblogged this.
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Thank you very much for your kind visit. I am grateful to Truth Troubles for leading you here.
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It felt like you were speaking to me. I needed this one today and now, Pragalbha. Thank you π
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*Hands to Heart* That is my utmost contentment to know this was a contribution to you. Thank you for kindly sharing that with me.
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very beautiful!
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I am very happy you read this one! Thank you.
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yes it is really interessting, but not relevant for me because I live in separation.
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yes, there’s always different circumstances we deal with.
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sure always! Otherwise it would be easy. You could write a thick book … the book of situations … you open the situation and find the perfect reaction for action/situation …. that’s how it would be if all things were to be judged individually …: )
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haha that is an interesting thought and true π
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