Do I have a personality?

Do I have a personality?
I grew up feeling none.
I kept wanting one.

I saw some as persons happy
But I felt lot of thoughts unhappy
I saw some as being persons assured
But I felt unsure of what really mattered
I saw some as being persons positive
But I felt I needed lot more perspective
I saw some wearing their wealth on them
And I felt the need to become abundant
I saw some wearing their success on them
But I felt I really wish I had a passion
I sought to be truthfully joyful
But I felt lot of things to be untruthful

I simply only wanted my own personality
Yet I tried every which way to fit in
Also learned some tricks to blend in
Wherever I Be I became that one
Except it became difficult to keep up

Do I have a personality?
Now supposedly a grown-up
I am not sure I have one

A new friend in conversation
In complete awe of my hard-core choices
Called me in myself an institution
And visiting me a few days later
Found me a sobbing mess of confusion
Befuddled she told me
“Never imagined You could become this”
I confided in her honestly
I needed the friend in her
As much as she used the one in me.
She probed further if I had ever cried
For those times such and such
I said yes I did
When at times I became human as much

This kind friend then exhorted me
That I should be wearing all that I am
And walk out in the world head held high
Gain some confidence and personality

Veracity in the moment doesn’t allow me
To wear anything external on me
I am that I am and I wonder what I am
I live in an attempt of absolute integrity
In all the roles that can be called of me
I show up with confidence or confusion
It is me in that moment feeling fluidly
The only corrugation is of my intention

So now do I have a personality?
You tell me which one you see in me
So do I need a personality?
Or I could just Be what I have come to Be.

 

P.S. Dear Debbie, I gladly contribute this poem to ForgivingFridays, as a gesture of forgiveness for everywhere we judge ourselves for what we are. Thank you for being here.

 

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17 thoughts on “Do I have a personality?

  1. We are all unique . And we are all up and down at times. I believe what we think and whats makes passionate or enrages is who we are our personality, our character, ourself.

    So of course you have a personality and from your writing i say …you are a humble, mature, wise, talented, charasmatic and funny person with a big heart and extremely humble. You have exprienced life and learnt and share. You have a beautiful personality and that i say from your writing and comments. We have never met but your writing speaks your caring personality, wise, bright, fun, smart, couragous and not afraid to be yourself..your unique self.

    None of use let moments doubt and extreme saddness spoil our vision.. and we should remember the storm of doubt will pass and we’ll be back and wonder what just happened there. Hugs. Bella

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Bellla, before I thank you, I am going to simply receive your generous words. Reading again …:)
      Truly thank you and so much of my love to you …for giving me a glimpse of what you see in me. I am going to use your words to keep the energy of fun, courageous and unafraid to be myself πŸ™‚ …and also receive a lot from everything you said. Yes, storms are meant to pass and we are meant to evolve.
      Thank you for being here. My love, ease and joy to you.

      Like

  2. I love, love, love this poem. To me, there’s a quality of acceptance of where you are that is so refreshing. I’m about to do a women’s group on forgiveness and peace, and the key we’re looking at today is accepting ourselves as we are. Great post.

    Feel free to contribute this to Forgiving Fridays if you want to! Here’s the link to my most recent FF post if helpful for your pingback: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/05/19/todays-forgiving-fridays-the-incredible-results-of-forgiveness

    Sending you many blessings,
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Accepting and Loving Myself as I Am – ForgivingConnects

  4. I have done some reserach and study on this and feel upbringing in formative years up to age of 5 plays a vital role in shaping our personality .
    With age and environment somethings can be moulded or rather we mould ourselves to the circumstances but core
    remains intact. In a crisis we op erate from our core and not the outrsheath which we have adapted to.

    Liked by 1 person

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