Truthfulness, kindness & the dumbness of it all!

There’s some of us who have conditioned ourselves to the habit of truthfulness and kindness. I am talking about the kind of truthfulness that is hardcore and from the heart. The kind that doesn’t succumb to some of the pretentiousness of society. The kind that is very boldly but good-heartedly ready to sacrifice the niceties required to sustain a liaison for certain benefits.

It’s either my truth and your truth agree with each other or you are free to find someone else that works for you and I can move on too. It’s not how some of the world works though. A lot of times it is about having personal agendas that are secretive and communications are everything but that. The idea is to get the idea of what could be extracted of another person. Nothing wrong with it for some of us …if you are upfront about what it is that you want. So either we have it or not. So we either contribute to each other or we move on …or just enjoy that coffee and pure company of another being.

Oh I know I sound very very dumb to some of you. And you know what? I have showed a lot of dumbness in my life by simply opening my mouth 🙂   In my early young years I had not learned good discrimination in my communication and simply chose to speak the truth as it felt to me.

Example: 1. An aquaintance of my father offered to tutor me in advanced Math. And my father agreed. So I went there weekly. There were quite a few times when I was sitting there while he ‘figured’ out how to solve a problem. He visited our home again to ask my father (seriously!) why I wasn’t there anymore. I was right there to answer …my truth …”well, he wasn’t able to solve a lot of the problems so I stopped!”

Ya right! See with the truth you don’t have to think twice about what you are saying…truthful kindness took a long time to learn …

Example 2: I was at a park with my son. Met another enthusiastic mom of twins. While chitchatting she found out I rent at a nearby apartment community. Her eyes widened with pride pointing in the direction of a beautiful home she owned. It’s perfect I said! She went on how they managed to get everything perfect …now I know …looking into my eyes, if she had managed to invoke enough envy! She was soon to find out how Dumb I was! Because I went on to say how happy I was that she has this beautiful home. She really deserved it with the twins and a full time job, how would she manage  without the space she has in her home. I am so happy for you! DUMB IDEA! She moved on to other people this time wide-eyed with shock, didn’t acknowledge or recognize me the next time we bumped into each other. I didn’t have what she was looking for …

I have been through all stages of trying to fit in and being all that is expected in society. And now I am back full circle! I have developed a low tolerance for the mind games and guessing games that go into the ego-boosting, you-pat-my-back and I will do the same to you- kind of relations. It takes too much energy and work to sustain them. And then there is always fear and chance that such relations fizzle out. Really high maintenance costs!

I have more fun when I am in this crystal clear space that works for me, from where I can contribute to others. From where I can ask of others what I need from them. Either we have it for each other or we don’t. I will smell it if you merely dangle a carrot in front of me. If you try to play a game with me, without being truthful to me, you will have to step up really high, and I will have good fun with you! If you are truthful to me and I have something for you, I will do everything for you to the point that I appear dumb to you …haha!

Life is beautiful really! Let’s make it so for each other. Let us be mirrors to each other that reflect back our highest goodness and truth. Let us be that crystal clear space where we allow one heart to speak to another without fear or judgment. Kindness should not have a tag really, other than the goodness of it. Trust is an absolute treasure to have in any interaction. Kindness and truthfulness taken for granted as dumbness to be milked, is sadness to the fullest. I have been on both ends of this so no judgment about that too, all is fair if we keep learning and growing from where we are.

While functioning in the world, I am becoming aware of the layers of truthfulness that we can access. Pretense is definitely not one of them. Express yourself fully with what feels very comfortable to you and to the extent that is required of the moment. Be kind, vulnerable, strong, truthful …see where the pieces fall …if needed, pick them up and move on. You are all you got and you are everything you got …dumbness and all! I love my life and the people in them!

 

 

 

 

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29 thoughts on “Truthfulness, kindness & the dumbness of it all!

  1. Beautiful post and love the sounds of that crystal clear space where you know what works for you and aren’t afraid to voice it honestly. I tend to repress my truth when I’m afraid it will offend others, which isn’t either honest or ultimately kind to them or me. Politeness at all costs is so ingrained into me that I do it even the most superficial of situations. Thankfully I’m better at being authentic and honest in the relationships that really matter, but still a lot of work to do even there. Congratulations to you for all the work you seem to have done in this area ♡

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    • Thank you very much Julia for this affirming, reinforcing and reflective response. The more we keep reaching within ourselves and be comfortable with what we find there, the more we become steadfast …I am a work in progress always as the truth is never done unfolding and either courage or contentment become a choice.

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  2. Beautifully written. You’re coming from a place of honesty..and that’s great! But sometimes we have to start out with a positive comment before we tell the person how we truly feel…cause you don’t know how they’re going to take it. Believe me, I know! I’ve learned how to “filter” my mind/mouth a bit. 🙂

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    • Thank you very much for your kind response. I know what you mean …that’s why I end with … there’s layers of truth that we can access that are comfortable and required of the moment …the skill I keep learning myself:) Thank you for taking the time!

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  3. Fair point well made! If only a lot of people would have realized this. Being sensitive with other’s feelings and being sincere is very rare these days. The very reason I have too few friends. But i don’t mind, I’m happy with what I have and I always do my best to be true with myself and with others. Thank you for this wonderful post!

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  4. Being honest in sincerity and in truthfulness without hurting is always the best policy, I’ve held my tongue many times with those that only want to “keep up with the Joneses” and I am comfortable and not competitive, therefor it leaves a lot of people behind for they don’t know how not to be that way….calm and peace and happy is me and I refuse to be pulled into others drama….at some point, the right people come along to bring you up instead of trying to tear me down. Great piece my friend😊

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  5. Thank you for your thoughtful and reflective response. Yes silence is one layer of truth accessible to us if that’s what the moment requires. And so true and amazing of you about refusing to be pulled into other’s drama. Thank you for your time!

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  6. I can relate to almost everything you say, being honest and truthful in a non hurting way is a skill I keep improvising on. I come across people who are so mindless and just throw words without even thinking how it effects others. In such cases silence is my option as I don’t want to match up with them. Thought provoking and well written post 🙂

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  7. I liked your ‘about’ pg very much…thank you for reading and liking mine….I especially like this blog on truthfulness…I am like this…totally related to your example of the lady in the park…remembered myself when I was younger…would’ve done EXACTLY what you did…smiling all the way,lol! Be honest or take off! That’s where I was at back then…still have no room for being used by others…I don’t to it to them, don’t do it to me….also don’t like social ‘niceties’…you either like my new skirt, scarf, hair colour, etc., or you don’t …rather hear what you really think and why…have also been called ‘dumb’ without that person ever realizing I did what I did intentionally…but there have been more times that I actually didn’t get what that person was putting over on me.but “lucked” to the right response anyway..don’t know what you would call that part of “dumb”…but I’ve been very thankful for it all my life, let me tell you. PD, this was a very real and funny blog… don’t change your style, ever..it’s perfect. Katie…

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    • Thank you very much Catherine. Truly appreciate your amazingly generous response. It is further gratifying that you found it real and funny:) I have to admit that I had to use some courage to post this article …but you have put me at so much ease.
      I think I am understanding about what you say about not understanding the other person and still getting the right response, luckily. It could be that we are in general oblivious of agendas, but get the energy of it and come up with a response that feels the truest, and that is why it works for us anyway. To a third person we come across as dumb because we never knew the agenda 🙂 Please correct me if I didn’t get this right.

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      • PD, you got me exactly and correctly. I know it takes courage just to be yourself out there in the world, but it takes five times the courage to write it out and let the people read you. I am just learning to do this online myself. Bravo, my girl, bravo! Please call me Katie.

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  8. Reblogged this on Infinite Living and commented:

    My latest post before this is about Untruthfulness. A long time reader brought to my attention that exactly same day, an year ago, I had done a post on Truthfulness. I remember how vulnerable and courageous I felt while doing that post 🙂 I am sharing it again as I feel elated at how much growing up and ease happened to me, in one year, to be in this space.

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  9. A very thought out, well written post. It’s so hard to find people who actually say what they are thinking. I have met many people who use deceit to get what they want. When I was much more insecure, I would go along with it. Now I have more of an attitude that my life is too short for mind games. x

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  10. WoW!!! a precious peek inside that wired weird brain………..i always say this to people, do everything that you want to do, because at the end of the day, others only believe and see what they want to see and believe. Name any great leader or holy person, you can always find an abusive critic who despises them for their own personal reason.and you can’t fault them for that because judging is a sin. Stay true to yourself, that’s the only thing you need and should strive for. We all are performing our karma and we should do our best to be on the path of dharma……..sometimes it can be true, good, evil, dumb……who are we to judge……if it feels right in the moment, it is destiny. and rambling seemed right to me…. 😛 😛

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