If all relations are illusion and we are here to pursue the true nature of soul and no material thing can give us ultimate happiness, then how are people so happy when in love? It is actually binding and not setting you free, how is it that people seem to experience true happiness when in love?
I am so grateful to have been asked this question by a beautiful Being!
Following and discovering the true nature of soul is something we choose when we look towards attaining ultimate happiness. While we know by knowledge that no material thing can give us ultimate happiness, we are still entitled to certain comforts and joys to keep us stable on our path. Being born in the comforts of home and availability of food, we are simply not yet ready or spiritually evolved to renounce those and walk away into the mountains only armed by the knowledge of the ultimate truth.
Truth actually lies even beyond knowledge where you are in communion with your super conscious being, none of us can even begin to imagine or perceive what that exactly is, by any number of words of wisdom. It lies beyond all thought, memory or mental knowing. Once you experience the Truth or oneness with the soul there is no one actually experiencing this.
Relationships are another aspect of comfort like food and shelter. Being on the path towards truth does not deny us simple pleasures of life. They are illusions in light of the Truth because they are limited in their ability to ‘complete’ you. We are placed in families and relations by design/karma to give us the exact experiences we need to evolve towards our spirit. It’s up to us how much we use these experiences towards our journey.
The problem is when we start identifying with these relations and circumstances as the ultimate reality. The people that are in love may have found utmost happiness but there will be trouble in paradise when they start depending on each other for all happiness. If they start identifying with each other so much that they starve their own spiritual being. Yes people in love seem blissed out because they are experiencing happiness. For them to be successful staying happy in this lifetime, they will have to pursue their own personal growth.
It’s a constant work of art to be able to keep building your own strength and courage and simultaneously nourish the growth of a partner.
This happens in different ways. Some couples have parallel successful flourishing careers that represent their personal growth. Some couples are examples of giving up for one or the other, their growth involves that. The intention behind those choices are responsible for the future design of our life. Because, giving up, for one person can mean having to sacrifice because of the partner while for the other can mean surrender towards the well-being of the family. Yet another person may not look at it as giving up at all …simply look at it as change in direction in the journey of life and create something else that is beautiful on the way to looking for the ultimate Truth.
Until we have the maturity to handle exponential spiritual growth towards the Truth, we need some of what you call bindings to draw the boundaries for us within which we play with our experiences and use them towards more and more freedom on our path. Relationships give us this sense of security and having someone to depend on during trying times.
Mark Nepo explains very well in his Book of Awakening …he compares true relations to that of a pair of divers. They take turns going into deep sea waters. One of them sits on the edge of the boat on the turbulent surface of the ocean holding a cord connected to his partner who has gone down into the still calm depths of the ocean. He makes sure his partner is safe by pulling at the cord tugging him to come to the surface after the time limit for the amount of oxygen carried is over. They then switch positions enabling the other to dive deep and the other weathering the turbulence. Ideally couples would work that way for each other letting each one dive deeper in their own being and taking turns taking care of the turbulence of life.
Even if some relations seem far from this ideal, they serve no less purpose in helping the evolution of a person. After all everyone is at their own level of evolution and crossed paths with a purpose. It’s your choice whether you give yourself freedom to grow while in these boundaries or you get stuck in the illusion of any of these relations coming to your rescue in any way. Even believing that any of these relations have the power to limit you anyway is an illusion.
You are an infinite being, yet choosing to draw some of these boundaries for your own sense of security at a deeper level.
Some of this is pure habitual patterns of the way we choose without much awareness. So go ahead flow with life and choose unafraid! Break barriers in your own mind to emerge free and change reality. You will keep inching closer to the Truth of your being. There is no denial for what can bring you happiness and there is no escape from what can bring you sorrow. Both aspects are going to alternate each other, no matter what. So go ahead accept, acknowledge and enjoy. Find gratitude and surrender to what Is! It is the truth of the moment!